364. Boys Don't Know About Cassowary Man

Lords:

• Maxx
  
• Avery

Topics:

• False brochures
  
  • https://legacy.drivethrurpg.com/product/513415/Green-Oaks
    
• Owning the wrong game console
  
  • https://desertstormcards.com/
    
• The middle 90% principle
  
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gPuH1yeZ08
    
• The God Abandons Antony, by C.P. Cavafy
  
  • https://www.onassis.org/initiatives/cavafy-archive/the-canon/the-god-abandons-antony

Microtopics:

• A person, in Seattle and on the Internet.
  
• Upcoming puppet shows.
  
• Fussy Cloud Puppet Slam.
  
• Portland Puppet People.
  
• Giant puppets made from shards of cardboard hanging from the ceiling.
  
• When people treat the puppet as real because the puppeteer did such a good job.
  
• Various tasks that would be challenging got moths.
  
• Girls go to university and boys go to cassowaryversity.
  
• Social Media!
  
• Spotify looking at your cover art and telling you "this would be better if it was AI-generated."
  
• A Swedish pop duo originally consisting of two Swedish people.
  
• A brochure that's slightly about your health.
  
• A picture in which everyone is smiling even though one of them is undergoing a medical procedure.
  
• Convincing elderly role-players to retire.
  
• Volunteering to DM at your local retirement home.
  
• Talking to your best friend, an emoji on a white orb.
  
• The part of the retirement home brochure about making a scene where it's like "if you can't think of anything to yell at your nurse here's some ideas"
  
• Growing old to become the dad from Frasier.
  
• A high school student making a horror film hiring a bunch of 30 year olds to play the teenagers.
  
• A brochure explaining what time is and different models of thinking about time.
  
• Handing about brochures about yourself in lieu of business cards.
  
• Marvel and DC comic book cards.
  
• Topps Operation Enduring Freedom collectible cards.
  
• The holographic Obama Bin Laden card.
  
• Sitting in class and contemplating why George W. Bush is touching the side of someone's head.
  
• Choosing to collect the Operation Desert Storm cards rather than the Operation Enduring Freedom series because it's more nostalgic.
  
• Trading some Japanese Yu-Gi-Oh cards for a mint condition Condoleeza Rice.
  
• Britain's Tony Blair: a Staunch Ally.
  
• Why you have that tattoo of Bonk on your stomach.
  
• Aphex Twin pressing play on his laptop and then just pacing back and forth on the stage looking angry as people dance.
  
• The Asylum Pictures of the video game industry.
  
• Kids in the neighborhood no longer coming over as soon as your neighbor gets a Super Nintendo.
  
• Nintendo localizing all the onigiri out of NES games.
  
• Kanye West's unfinished concept album about the Turbo Grafx 16.
  
• Freezing your credit card in a block of ice, but for children.
  
• A ten year old in the process of becoming a vegetarian.
  
• Running out of existential concerns before you turn ten and never developing any more.
  
• Japanese kids accepting Transformers at face value, like "of course this gun would turn into a guy" whereas American kids needed a Saturday morning cartoon to explain that it's because they're made of transformium and eat energon.
  
• Slightly malproportioned villain with a Shakespeare collar and a claw hand
  
• Going out to run errands in jeans, a t-shirt and a Shakespeare collar.
  
• How many pieces of s suit it is if you're just wearing sock garters that nobody can see.
  
• Custom colors for your Turbo Grafx?!
  
• Extremely serious Bombermans.
  
• The 90% parking principle.
  
• Calculating the approximate maximum height of a human based on having no information about humans.
  
• Mathematicians and philosophers yelling at their Windows Phones about this podcast.
  
• Trying a cup of coffee and saying "it needs more beans."
  
• Suddenly realizing that you might live to be 940.
  
• A poem who only writes about ancient Rome.
  
• Waking up to hear an invisible parade leaving Alexandria.
  
• Feeling the portents of the moment.
  
• A classic of Art Terrorism.
  
• Replacement-level mid-90s R&B.
  
• A 22 minute song including everything everyone likes best in a song.
  
• Every commercially-released Beatles song playing at once.
  
• A particular teacher who always enters the classroom in the same way.
  
• Every Topic Lords guest needing the same brand of squeaky rubber chicken
  
• A nickname that a radio DJ gave you when you were 15.