305. Phlegmletting

Jim Stormdancer — Mon, 25 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Lords:

Topics:

Reading about type 1 diabetes
Saying vegetables instead of cussin'
- https://jp.itch.io/mr-friendly
Winston punched his tooth out
If I Ran the Circus (excerpt)
With the power of portable PS2 emulation, I can find out how many types of games I don't like anymore

Microtopics:

My Favorite Loser.
Mistakes we always keep in the show because it's more fun that way.
How to plagiarize video using Da Vinci Resolve.
A tool that automatically turns any Youtube video into a series of screenshots with captions.
Your mom threatening to sell your copy of Sonic the Hedgehog when it's explicitly labeled "not for resale"
Explaining to your mom that they're not video games, they're computer games, and she explains that video is from the Latin for "to see"
Mom paying proper deference to your clever sass before grounding you.
They're called RPGs, Mother!
Reading just enough about diabetes to be unhelpful.
Reading the diabetes owners manual.
Your $200/month Glucagon habit.
The Quick Start Guide to Diabetes, which explains that ideally you'd do such and such for your diabetic child but you probably don't have health insurance so, uh, good luck!
WiFi 7 upgrading you to gay.
Recreational glucose monitors.
The new glucose tablets coming in metric and confusing everybody.
That time Solid Snake went hypoglycemic while being tortured and bit down on his fake tooth to release the glucose capsule.
We put sugar gel in you, Solid Snake! It's going to make you slightly loopy!
An accountant who likes jogging.
Nobody knows why women have a higher incidence of eating disorders. If only we could ask them
They made a cure to diabetes 30 years ago, but you have to become the President of the United States to get it.
If Diabetes is so good, why haven't they made a Diabetes 2?
The Quick Start Guide to Diabetes explaining that people with diabetes can talk over you in a funny voice and you're not allowed to do anything about it.
Fiddling with a bloodletting device in an antique store and accidentally letting nearly all of your blood.
Phlegmletters.
What part of the body hurts least to prick with a needle. (The balls.) (Of your feet.)
Code switching halfway through explaining how you like to cuss.
How to swear at someone using vegetables.
What a load of parsnips!
Brussels Sprouts patch notes.
Brussels Sprouts: Belgium's Great Shame.
Winnipeg Manitoba sprouts.
Walking up to a stranger on the street and saying "Hey! It's a load of parsnips!" when they don't even know how you feel about parsnips.
Veggie Tales: Christ Died for our Parsnips.
Finding hilarious jokes in the text but your Bible studies group doesn't think they're very funny at all.
Refusing to apologize about a joke because someone somewhere is going to get the joke.
Why they still play old cartoons when they have Dragon Ball Z now.
Trying to find the 90s show about a kid trapped in a sitcom neighborhood that a talking dog told Abby about.
A video game where instead of having to shoot people, you talk to people.
Mr. Friendly.
Running errands for the demons.
Demon acceptance.
Can you believe Satan? What will they come up with next?
Lucifer Twocifer: Bringer of the Deuce.
Embarking on a multi-year project to have the coolest most clever minced oaths because you refuse to have basic minced oaths.
Whether it's racist to call a safecracker a Yegg.
The funniest joke you heard when you were eight.
The hobo with excellent glycemic index who lives in your shed.
Trying cat insulin and promising to report back if you die.
Hyperdontia.
Accidentally swallowing a tooth and growing a tooth tree in your tummy.
Explaining to your kid who just swallowed a tooth that it's going to bite him on the butt on the way out.
Inventing an increasingly elaborate series of fairies that cover everything that can happen to your child's teeth
What kind of degree you need to become a tooth fairy.
Going to the dentist to do a bunch of drugs and get punched in the face.
The tooth fairy talking about switching careers.
Paying for PDFs to print and put under your child's pillow when they lose a tooth.
Trying to pay a mortgage on a tooth fairy's salary nowadays.
What you're going to make Mr. Sneelock do.
A hoodwink who can't wink good.
If only we could talk to the LAPD.
Looking up the IPA pronunciation of Truffula Trees.
Anticipating the day you'll finally get to say "what it is"
Reading The Lorax in a bad David Lynch impression.
Over Forty Years of Trusted Quality at Nature's Bounty.
Seeing yourself on video and realizing you've been on the autism spectrum the whole time.
Knowing your friend only has one joke and telling a whole shaggy dog story to set up the one joke, as a gift.
The zoomers that they have nowadays.
Hello, this is my Asian man voice.
Going around the circle and everybody doing their best Asian man voice, finishing with the guy you want cancelled the most.
Spending $150 trying to connect your PlayStation 2 to a modern television.
Exhorting people to read the jokes in your pinned tweets.
Importing PS3 games – or not importing them, which is cheaper.
All the things you could've done instead of shooting Shinzo Abe.
Playing Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven and trying to change the control scene to be more like Sekiro, even though you hated Sekiro.
Freaking out because you didn't have everything figured out by the time you're 24.
Playing Bumpy Trot with your weeb girlfriend.

Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Sid”

305. Phlegmletting