• Nathan
  • https://store.steampowered.com/app/2976260/ChainStaff/
• Robb
  • https://store.steampowered.com/app/880930/Cyberganked/

Topics:

• I got pulled into the world of Eurorack modular synthesizers and now I'm finding myself trying to make cogent arguments for bringing uranium ore into the household.
• Ectoparasites
• Stairs are the driving of walking
• The Beaufort Wind Scale, found by nontanne
  • https://media24.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads-2024/images/3/3597ddeb-e52e-4cda-a59c-c64600489fea/c8PXM396.jpg

Microtopics:

• Year 14 of Cyberganked development.
• Cryptozookeeper.
• Struggling to play Yankee Doodle Dandy because the piano teacher doesn't want to hear your rendition of Axel F.
• Being hit up for $25 by the state.
• A text adventure with little pictures.
• Composing your 3D scene using pictures you took at the Denver haunted house your friend runs.
• Including an in-game explanation for why you chose to use the CGA colors.
• Playing TXT World and wondering "why would anyone make a game that looks like that?"
• How do you afford to take seven years to make a game?
• Finagling money out of various governments during COVID.
• Turning off the fish so that you can see the cat.
• Spending thousands of dollars to go to GDC and pitch your game to publishers and finding no takers because your game isn't a roguelike or a deck builder.
• Financial solvency isn't everything it's cracked up to be!
• Existing as a person on earth and being as old as possible.
• Life hacks for making your publisher go out of business.
• A spreadsheet of 450 game publishers that existed in 2023 whereas now there's just Epic and Roblox.
• Chainsaws and rocket launchers and other things you have in your front yard.
• Chainsaws vs. Chainstaffs.
• Measuring the IQ of every single Topic Lords listener.
• Asking your artist to make it 10% grosser.
• I know you have a good working relationship with your artist, but wouldn't you have had a better time alone in a dark room making bullshit with stable diffusion?
• The Bloodlust Software art style.
• Showing your four year old nephew how to throw a spear as Scorpion, then spending the rest of the afternoon shouting "get over here!" at each other.
• Your Eurorack habit leading you to import uranium.
• So-called "synthesizer music."
• Shitpost Eurorack Modules.
• Enriching uranium.
• Talking to everyone about the uranium-based Eurorack module you want to buy in order to shift the Overton Window until buying the uranium-based Eurorack module seems totally normal.
• Making the most incredible techno everyone's ever heard before dying of radiation poisoning, like Marie Curie.
• What the Moog Modular would be like if Bob Moog only designed shitpost modules.
• The three reasons to buy a hardware synthesizer.
• Making art on the same device you use to doom scroll.
• Sitting there with a jeweler's screwdriver trying to tune your synthesizer.
• Coming on Topic Lords to declare that you're not a pervert.
• Deckard's Dream.
• Spending $5000 on a new synthesizer, making one song, and selling it for 75 cents on Bandcamp.
• Making things go twang in the 70s.
• The kind of parasites Slimer would have.
• Fixing a toilet in space.
• Tongue-eating isopods.
• Eating a tongue and then becoming the tongue. You are what you eat!
• Making Elevator Action and then getting in a multi-floor shootout in an office building.
• Alpha Gal, the matriarch that makes you allergic to beef.
• Teaming up with the Kool-Aid Man to fight the tick that makes you allergic to the color red.
• A floor except every step you take is higher than the last and after you take a few steps you're way up in the air.
• The accident-per-mile-traveled for stairs.
• How your family reacts the second time you fall down the stairs.
• What a caveman would think of stairs.
• What simple machine a staircase is.
• Hiding from the Dalek on the second floor because Daleks don't understand desires.
• Umbrellas difficult to use.
• A poem that came from the sea.
• Might Order an Extra Mango Lassi.
• Whether the scoville scale is logarithmic.
• Arguing against preventing forest forest.
• Bringing a machete to the farmer's market because what are the chances there are two machetes at the farmer's market?
• Sea Heaps Up.
• Fresh Gale vs. Whole Gale.
• Never having been outside in the wind but trying to guess what happens in a moderate gale.
• Taking a seven foot Chainstaff to MAGFest.
• 3D printing a giant spear for your Hornet costume.
• Sign-twirling your seven foot bone spear and terrifying all the MAGFest attendees.

Support Topic Lords

• Jenni
• Robb

Topics:

• The phenomenon where multiple people respond with the same mystifying emoji
  • Skin Fort dream and image both provided by WiL: https://stale-meme.itch.io/
• Lately I've engaged in pretend play with my 4 year old nephew by pretending we stole a crate of "Toxic Waste" candy and lying to the cops about it. As actual parents, is this healthy for the child?
• It turns out you don't want to rent a Playstation
• Hints
  • https://x.com/jensbest/status/413105300535668736
• I would be happy to talk about what having an operation to get an Osia 2 bone anchored hearing aid is like.

Microtopics:

• The Stanley Parable New Edition.
• Cyberganked.
• Wishing for games using the Steam wishlist system and the Steam Monkey's Paw curls.
• CRPG blobbers.
• 25 years of Hugo.
• Recognizing a Windows program from 1996.
• Back when malware pretended to be a little guy.
• The origins of Skinfort.
• Hapsburg Jaw.
• Angry Cry Laughing.
• Meta-channels and meta-meta-channels.
• Medicinal Dock Spiders.
• This Spider Pays Taxes.
• The weakest Great Lake of all.
• The good Mexican restaurant in Fond du Lac.
• Fish pouches.
• Whether you have to refrigerate Big League Chew.
• Putting tuna on dry toast.
• Four year olds who want to impress people with how sour s candy they can eat.
• The amount of toxic waste you are allowed to feed a child.
• Having a milkshake and being in bed by 8:30.
• Doing improv with your four year old nephew about invoking the fifth amendment.
• The Cocomelon video about never talking to the police.
• I'm not sad; I'm just on a triangle.
• French mice asking to buy your armpit cheese.
• A kid who just plain needs to be lied to.
• Renting a child so you can make cheese in their armpits.
• Did Jim finally rent the Playstation?
• Going to the place to rent a Playstation and they immediately ask for your Social Security Number.
• It's hot inside the Playstation, and the bugs are cold.
• Just doing the poem about Data's cat Spot every episode.
• The warlock dominatrix Harley Quinn voice that you make everybody listen to.
• Oh I'm sorry, I thought the ceiling was your ass.
• Telling your friends about the guy who said he thought the ceiling was your ass and asking them what it means and they just respond with the grapes emoji.
• Games that have both Booty and The Wizard.
• The scrawny wizard from Zwackery.
• Whether chewing your food is a spell.
• Listening to Topic Lords for all the mouth sounds.
• Constantly rehydrating this child so that he can make the whole house wet.
• Starving zombie apocalypse survivors taking the child seats out of a car so they can turn them upside down and shake all the gummy bears out.
• A poem with a pangram rhyme scheme.
• Bone-anchored hearing aids.
• Bringing a topic list to a first date.
• Waiting until your last day of insurance and bursting into the OR like the Kool-Aid Man.
• Your surgeon quitting the industry immediately after seeing the inside of your head.
• Performatively pressing your hearing aid's nonfunctional volume button.
• Your wife violating HIPAA to tell you a hilarious work story.
• Accidentally installing Bonzi Buddy on your hearing aid.
• Marrying an audiologist to get the best possible hearing aid.
• Going to zoom.ca to rev up your savings.
• Performance Acura North Mississauga.
• Adapting Eliza into a game where you're trying to trick Smaug into giving up his hoard.
• Making a joke about a banana slug actually bring a plantain slug.
• It is the 90s and there is time for Rifftrax.

Support Topic Lords