• Rebecca
  
• Martin

Topics:

• Running a home server: Easier than you might think and very useful to do
  
• The best place to find poetry is on vacation
  
• Winston reading every sign in Target
  
• Zampiceni's Marketplace, by Margaret Szumonski
  
  • https://toots.ravenoak.dev/@rebecca/116899616527167036
    
• Hot dog research thursdays and bad dracula nights

Microtopics:

• Tomato season: the tomatoes look pretty good.
  
• Mozart in the Park.
  
• Actors: they're not fussy like cellists.
  
• Ancient Greek plays where they stab each other.
  
• 10 hours of Star Trek engine noises.
  
• An illicit hacker breaking into your Jellyfin server and watching your Star Trek.
  
• Listen to Data putter around.
  
• A recurring thing with a database that you have to keep debugging.
  
• Building a normal computer out of normal parts.
  
• Everybody being each other's encrypted off-site backup.
  
• Opening books and closing them, then opening them again and closing them again.
  
• The one about the horny grocery store.
  
• Having a difficult time finding delicious food in Massachusetts.
  
• The kind of food they feed you on a weaving retreat.
  
• Sitting in a Starbucks, staring at the internet and rotting.
  
• Walking into an indie music store and perusing the local music section.
  
• Getting mad on vacation because you miss your cats.
  
• Nothing Beats Doing Nothing.
  
• Buying grape juice from vineyards and making wine at home.
  
• All the little guys that help you make wine and cheese.
  
• Wrapping your wine fermentation vats in blankets so all the bacteria are more comfortable.
  
• Folks who assume you know about wine because you're from California.
  
• An advertisement exhorting you to go where you already are.
  
• Abag & Iclei?? What does that mean?
  
• Puzzling out the vanity plates.
  
• Growing up watching only PBS and then falling for every ad as an adult because you have no ad literacy.
  
• Seeing a targeted ad and feeling like you failed as a person because you want to buy the thing.
  
• How Instagram ruined hash tags.
  
• Getting off-topic but it's okay because it's a different topic.
  
• Prose poems and deconstructed sandwiches.
  
• Absolutely! No parking! For Buca di Beppo!
  
• Having notes on this sign.
  
• Seeing a sign and thinking "hmm, someone must've parked for Buca di Beppo here."
  
• Your tight five on East Coast Fallouts ruined the Fallout TV series.
  
• The grocer cutting open the pomegranates so you can touch them.
  
• Muscles building like coconuts, lifting whole regimes of bananas.
  
• Why are husbands so wrong about Zampiceni's Marketplace?
  
• Moammar Gaddafi's obsession with Condoleezza Rice.
  
• Getting curious what Danny Devito was doing in the 1970s.
  
• The invention of No-Fault Divorce.
  
• Be sure to marry someone you can go to the grocery store with. (Especially the sexy grocery store.)
  
• Saving the horny onions for your next appearance.
  
• What to do with all the write-in topics now that we don't have a write-in segment.
  
• Who to turn to for pizza research now that the Pizza Research Institute has shut down.
  
• A pizza that's more like a heaping roasted salad.
  
• Inventing the peanut butter and pickle hot dog once a week.
  
• Putting peanut butter on noodles.
  
• Food wizards.
  
• As much star anise as you could possibly ever use.
  
• Learning to cook in a no-onion environment.
  
• Fermenty Black Beans.
  
• Medium to high-effort hot dogs.
  
• Dracula just trying to be a good dad.
  
• Quitting Bad Dracula Day for good.
  
• Lucy pulling the football away. (The football is good Dracula movies.)
  
• A movie where karate guys do kick-ass moves while children are being trafficked.
  
• Michelle Yeoh as Cop Lady.
  
• Fast forward 200 years and it's 1972 and there's a funk soundtrack.
  
• Hosting your own patreon, and other ideas that will definitely work.
  
• Being on the Fediverse to post and on Bluesky to cry.
  
• What Gene Siskel thinks of the Blacula sequel.

Support Topic Lords

• Jenni
• Rebecca
  • https://toots.ravenoak.dev/@rebecca
  • Weft Magazine: https://www.weftmagazine.com/

Topics:

• Getting emotionally ambushed by a children's toy piano
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g8fzwmnw8M
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvhdHkugIPE
• All the non-art things you have to do to get external validation about your art
• Explaining where owls come from
• The Witches are Coming (excerpt) by Lindy West
  • https://playingintheworldgame.com/2021/11/15/the-witches-are-coming-by-lindy-west/
• Ask Me About Loom(s in video games)
  • Festive gazelles, vampire christmas, and the rest of the christmas card project: https://ravel.me/ggggbbybby/swc
  • What’s a gamp? https://ravel.me/ggggbbybby/js2cawg
  • In case you need comfy fingering in your life: https://www.knitpicks.com/yarn/comfy-fingering/c/5420197
  • The ravelry forum where we play old-lady Minecraft: https://www.ravelry.com/discuss/warped-weavers

Microtopics:

• Weft: for weavers!
• The Weft Zone.
• A two and a half foot piano with five notes on it.
• Are you the width of your arm?
• Pushing a button to increase your team's number.
• A white paper about how to not get a divorce when you go to burning man together.
• Teaching kids all the animal names, even the ones they'll never encounter, like how we used to teach kids all the state capitals even for the states they'll never visit.
• A bird with polka dot wings that could fly over the sea, and John Legend sings about it.
• Expecting your child to eventually go through every age.
• Now that your kid is 40, he can clean the poop from his own balls.
• The umbilical cord being connected to weird meat inside your body.
• Kidney bean figures connected by glowing blue lines in the astral plane.
• Being paid to stay at home and solve puzzles on you computer. (And go to Zoom meetings.)
• All the non-art things you need to do to get your art out there.
• The Loom on Loom Island.
• Exhibiting at Maker Fair and explaining how a loom works 50,000 times.
• Happy last year's birthday! I made you something and it took me this long to finish it.
• Getting a fanbase who has a parasocial relationship with you and having to pretend not to be a crotchety asshole.
• What it takes to run a personal Mastodon instance.
• Getting a call from the school and they're like "your instance isn't federating with the other instances, we need you to come pick it up."
• Explaining to a six year old about sexual reproduction, DNA, mutations, and speciation so you can explain where owls come from.
• Explaining to your baby that talking is when an organ vibrates in your throat that makes the air vibrate, but he doesn't know what air is, he thinks there's an ether.
• What music you can play with the pentatonic scale.
• Poko the cockatiel sitting Totoro.
• The intern at the mobile factory who spent an afternoon downloading a hundred bootleg MIDIs so that the mobile plays.
• Tooting the bad cone inside the house.
• The person who would be playing the trumpet in your relationship.
• Seeing someone knitting incorrectly in a TV show.
• Patching better jokes into the hat DLC.
• Using a sequence of transpilers to get your code from point A to point B.
• People who make game engines wanting your to touch the engine as much as possible.
• Wanting to declare a global variable and the developers say you can't do that but they point you to the bespoke language feature that does the same thing as global variables but in a much more complicated way.
• Playing the Frog Fractions text adventure with a gamepad.
• Funny looking pirates who are secretly advertisements.
• Kidney beans, swans, and other delicious things.
• Learning a song from a dye pot that turns things green.
• A piano guitar that you just press on.
• Showing your husband the Wikipedia page that proves that you hobby exists and he's like "anybody can edit Wikipedia."
• Making a sculpture of the Eiffel tower without looking at any references and it ends up just being a letter A with the word "Paris" written nearby.
• A coked-up knitting machine.
• Spring has sprung so sprang your sprang.
• Heddles and treadles and gamps.
• Some of your best Comfy Fingering, please.
• Basic Sour.
• Smelling things in your mouth.
• Getting tired of sucking your baby's snot through a tube and getting an electric aspirator.
• Starting up Morrowind and being immediately presented with a guy who has a bad case of Bethesda Face.
• The thirteen games that have looms in them.
• The looms in Assassin's Creed being kind of historically accurate because Ubisoft's whole thing is being kind of historically accurate.
• Subscribing to a service that periodically sends you different swatches of cloth so you can disassemble them and figure out how they're woven.
• Festive Gazelles.
• Happy Vampire Christmas!
• Forum drama on Ravelry that ends up with the web designer no longer being allowed to talk directly to customers.
• Creative mode for Minecraft except for a bunch of old ladies.
• If you lose your bird bone just wait for another bird to hit your window.
• Magazines as extremely slow podcasts.
• Updating your gender and getting rid of your loser middle name while you're at it.

Support Topic Lords