web02.fireside.fm Sat, 04 Apr 2026 16:39:17 -0500 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Rachel” https://topiclords.com/tags/rachel Mon, 10 Jan 2022 08:00:00 -0800 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. en-us episodic The only place on the internet you can hear topics discussed! Jim Stormdancer Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. yes Jim Stormdancer jim@goombas.org 116. I Don't Trust Toilets Any More https://topiclords.com/i-dont-trust-toilets-any-more 172a8030-829b-420e-8414-5f4738c18d15 Mon, 10 Jan 2022 08:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Laura and Rachel. We discuss what to replace your hand with, how to hang out with friends long distance, fake childhood impressions, A Rabbit as King of the Ghosts, deleting a food, and soda flavors that should be. 58:57 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Laura * https://twitter.com/lmichet/ * https://lauramichet.itch.io/tallbagel2 * Rachel * https://twitter.com/rachel_sala/ * http://wildhonesty.com/ Topics: * You are walking down the street one day when your hand transforms into a stapler! For the next 60 minutes, your hand is a stapler from the wrist up. The next day, at the same time, your hand transforms into a stack of post-it notes. Soon, you realize that at noon every day, your hand transforms into one of the objects in your office desk drawer. You discover that anything that goes into your desk drawer has an even chance of replacing your hand for one hour at noon every day. Your desk drawer has a volume of 4 cubic feet and is 12 inches wide, 12 inches long, and 4 inches deep. What do you put into your desk drawer? (If there is nothing in your desk drawer, your hand will vanish for one hour.) * What's the best way to hang out with friends long distance? * My childhood impressions of Zelda 1 were apparently formed during my twenties. * "A Rabbit as King of the Ghosts," by Wallace Stevens * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/21816/a-rabbit-as-king-of-the-ghosts * If there was one food you could delete from Earth forever, what would it be? * What should be a flavor of soda that isn’t? Microtopics: * Tall Bagel 2: Avocado Hardtack * Awkward family dinner simulators * A topic that has been percolating in the bucket since its inception, getting better every year. * Safely scratching your butt when your hand suddenly turns into a gun. * Making a list of safe things for your hand to spontaneously turn into, like a hawk. * Putting a hawk in the drawer so at noon your hand turns into a hawk, then putting a hood on your hand so it thinks it's night time. * Putting a sandwich in the hand drawer so your hand turns into a sandwich at lunchtime. * Spending a lot of time at a computer drawing cartoon animals. * Finding out how sandwiches feel about being eaten. * Hypothetical questions that make you want to figure out how to break the laws of thermodynamics. * Keeping your magic drawer away from evil government researchers. * Knowing what is like to be a cannibal and to be cannibalized, because you chew your fingernails. * The consequences of replacing your hand with a gold coin. * Fully mediating which of your actions are perceived by the other party. * Fighting a large poisonous skull with your friends. * Talking to your friends for an hour without any awkward lulls. * Topic Lords, Jr. * Finding out that a cherished childhood memory could not possibly have happened the way you remember it. * Receiving photocopies of the Legend of Zelda manual months before receiving the game itself. * Reliability of witness identification. * Weird encounters that you tell as stories to your friends. * Becoming Samuel Pepys. * Acquiring most of your impressions of world history via what Victorians thought were important. * Remembering too much about your life and wishing you could forget. * Lying to your future self in your journal. * Benevolently gaslighting yourself. * That monument of cat, the cat forgotten in the moon. * Sitting with your head like a carving in space. * Poetry that is angry at the concept of making sense. * Letting the syllables wash over you. * The inversion of the power relationships you would expect in nature. * Whether Wallace Stevens had peers. * Correctly identifying 100 poem authors in a row. * Caring a lot about American poetry until you discover video games. * basketballsintrafficcones.com * Notes towards a supreme fiction. * What green things the cat was thinking about. * Being perceived by a rabbit as tall as outer space. * Writing for an assumed audience who doesn't exist any more. * Recommending enjoying being weirded out. * Deleting ranch dressing because it's just weird vinegary mayonnaise. * Getting that fake garlic grease zone going on * Screaming in people's ears all night. * Misspeaking and having to commit to what you said. * Throwing your back out by sitting in a relaxed position. * Gag sodas. * Soda flavor innovation. * Pebble ice. * Savory beverages like sipping vinegar or a cup of warm broth. * The fakest orange you ever did taste. * Being disempowered at dinner. * A relatable game where you can steal food from other people's plates with your long tongue. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • You are walking down the street one day when your hand transforms into a stapler! For the next 60 minutes, your hand is a stapler from the wrist up. The next day, at the same time, your hand transforms into a stack of post-it notes. Soon, you realize that at noon every day, your hand transforms into one of the objects in your office desk drawer. You discover that anything that goes into your desk drawer has an even chance of replacing your hand for one hour at noon every day. Your desk drawer has a volume of 4 cubic feet and is 12 inches wide, 12 inches long, and 4 inches deep. What do you put into your desk drawer? (If there is nothing in your desk drawer, your hand will vanish for one hour.)
  • What's the best way to hang out with friends long distance?
  • My childhood impressions of Zelda 1 were apparently formed during my twenties.
  • "A Rabbit as King of the Ghosts," by Wallace Stevens
  • If there was one food you could delete from Earth forever, what would it be?
  • What should be a flavor of soda that isn’t?

Microtopics:

  • Tall Bagel 2: Avocado Hardtack
  • Awkward family dinner simulators
  • A topic that has been percolating in the bucket since its inception, getting better every year.
  • Safely scratching your butt when your hand suddenly turns into a gun.
  • Making a list of safe things for your hand to spontaneously turn into, like a hawk.
  • Putting a hawk in the drawer so at noon your hand turns into a hawk, then putting a hood on your hand so it thinks it's night time.
  • Putting a sandwich in the hand drawer so your hand turns into a sandwich at lunchtime.
  • Spending a lot of time at a computer drawing cartoon animals.
  • Finding out how sandwiches feel about being eaten.
  • Hypothetical questions that make you want to figure out how to break the laws of thermodynamics.
  • Keeping your magic drawer away from evil government researchers.
  • Knowing what is like to be a cannibal and to be cannibalized, because you chew your fingernails.
  • The consequences of replacing your hand with a gold coin.
  • Fully mediating which of your actions are perceived by the other party.
  • Fighting a large poisonous skull with your friends.
  • Talking to your friends for an hour without any awkward lulls.
  • Topic Lords, Jr.
  • Finding out that a cherished childhood memory could not possibly have happened the way you remember it.
  • Receiving photocopies of the Legend of Zelda manual months before receiving the game itself.
  • Reliability of witness identification.
  • Weird encounters that you tell as stories to your friends.
  • Becoming Samuel Pepys.
  • Acquiring most of your impressions of world history via what Victorians thought were important.
  • Remembering too much about your life and wishing you could forget.
  • Lying to your future self in your journal.
  • Benevolently gaslighting yourself.
  • That monument of cat, the cat forgotten in the moon.
  • Sitting with your head like a carving in space.
  • Poetry that is angry at the concept of making sense.
  • Letting the syllables wash over you.
  • The inversion of the power relationships you would expect in nature.
  • Whether Wallace Stevens had peers.
  • Correctly identifying 100 poem authors in a row.
  • Caring a lot about American poetry until you discover video games.
  • basketballsintrafficcones.com
  • Notes towards a supreme fiction.
  • What green things the cat was thinking about.
  • Being perceived by a rabbit as tall as outer space.
  • Writing for an assumed audience who doesn't exist any more.
  • Recommending enjoying being weirded out.
  • Deleting ranch dressing because it's just weird vinegary mayonnaise.
  • Getting that fake garlic grease zone going on
  • Screaming in people's ears all night.
  • Misspeaking and having to commit to what you said.
  • Throwing your back out by sitting in a relaxed position.
  • Gag sodas.
  • Soda flavor innovation.
  • Pebble ice.
  • Savory beverages like sipping vinegar or a cup of warm broth.
  • The fakest orange you ever did taste.
  • Being disempowered at dinner.
  • A relatable game where you can steal food from other people's plates with your long tongue.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • You are walking down the street one day when your hand transforms into a stapler! For the next 60 minutes, your hand is a stapler from the wrist up. The next day, at the same time, your hand transforms into a stack of post-it notes. Soon, you realize that at noon every day, your hand transforms into one of the objects in your office desk drawer. You discover that anything that goes into your desk drawer has an even chance of replacing your hand for one hour at noon every day. Your desk drawer has a volume of 4 cubic feet and is 12 inches wide, 12 inches long, and 4 inches deep. What do you put into your desk drawer? (If there is nothing in your desk drawer, your hand will vanish for one hour.)
  • What's the best way to hang out with friends long distance?
  • My childhood impressions of Zelda 1 were apparently formed during my twenties.
  • "A Rabbit as King of the Ghosts," by Wallace Stevens
  • If there was one food you could delete from Earth forever, what would it be?
  • What should be a flavor of soda that isn’t?

Microtopics:

  • Tall Bagel 2: Avocado Hardtack
  • Awkward family dinner simulators
  • A topic that has been percolating in the bucket since its inception, getting better every year.
  • Safely scratching your butt when your hand suddenly turns into a gun.
  • Making a list of safe things for your hand to spontaneously turn into, like a hawk.
  • Putting a hawk in the drawer so at noon your hand turns into a hawk, then putting a hood on your hand so it thinks it's night time.
  • Putting a sandwich in the hand drawer so your hand turns into a sandwich at lunchtime.
  • Spending a lot of time at a computer drawing cartoon animals.
  • Finding out how sandwiches feel about being eaten.
  • Hypothetical questions that make you want to figure out how to break the laws of thermodynamics.
  • Keeping your magic drawer away from evil government researchers.
  • Knowing what is like to be a cannibal and to be cannibalized, because you chew your fingernails.
  • The consequences of replacing your hand with a gold coin.
  • Fully mediating which of your actions are perceived by the other party.
  • Fighting a large poisonous skull with your friends.
  • Talking to your friends for an hour without any awkward lulls.
  • Topic Lords, Jr.
  • Finding out that a cherished childhood memory could not possibly have happened the way you remember it.
  • Receiving photocopies of the Legend of Zelda manual months before receiving the game itself.
  • Reliability of witness identification.
  • Weird encounters that you tell as stories to your friends.
  • Becoming Samuel Pepys.
  • Acquiring most of your impressions of world history via what Victorians thought were important.
  • Remembering too much about your life and wishing you could forget.
  • Lying to your future self in your journal.
  • Benevolently gaslighting yourself.
  • That monument of cat, the cat forgotten in the moon.
  • Sitting with your head like a carving in space.
  • Poetry that is angry at the concept of making sense.
  • Letting the syllables wash over you.
  • The inversion of the power relationships you would expect in nature.
  • Whether Wallace Stevens had peers.
  • Correctly identifying 100 poem authors in a row.
  • Caring a lot about American poetry until you discover video games.
  • basketballsintrafficcones.com
  • Notes towards a supreme fiction.
  • What green things the cat was thinking about.
  • Being perceived by a rabbit as tall as outer space.
  • Writing for an assumed audience who doesn't exist any more.
  • Recommending enjoying being weirded out.
  • Deleting ranch dressing because it's just weird vinegary mayonnaise.
  • Getting that fake garlic grease zone going on
  • Screaming in people's ears all night.
  • Misspeaking and having to commit to what you said.
  • Throwing your back out by sitting in a relaxed position.
  • Gag sodas.
  • Soda flavor innovation.
  • Pebble ice.
  • Savory beverages like sipping vinegar or a cup of warm broth.
  • The fakest orange you ever did taste.
  • Being disempowered at dinner.
  • A relatable game where you can steal food from other people's plates with your long tongue.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 38. Inside the Atomic Purple Man https://topiclords.com/inside-the-atomic-purple-man 84c1d474-676e-4d67-ab4a-8bb623ab81b9 Mon, 13 Jul 2020 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: Nathalie and Rachel. We discuss horse-sized ridable animals, depicting dinosaurs as giant birds, daylight savings time abuse in speed runs, hands-free browsing, upgrading yourself, putting a dog in a video game that you can't pet, the cool S, whether it's okay to name something you're about to eat, and terrible foods from your childhood. 56:11 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Rachel helps run Glitch City. * https://twitter.com/rachel_sala * https://glitch.city/ * Natalie makes art games. * https://twitter.com/alienmelon * https://alienmelon.itch.io/electric-zine-maker Topics: * If there was another animal that was horse sized and rideable, what would you want it to be? * He-Man Sings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32FB-gYr49Y * Chicken beauty pageants. https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2014/03/the-bizarre-world-of-chicken-beauty-pageants-photographed-by-ernest-goh/ * Would Jurassic Park be the same if the dinosaurs were depicted as giant birds instead of giant lizards and can you even be afraid of fluffy dinosaurs? Also, would your first instinct really be to run away from a fluffy dinosaur? * Daylight savings time abuse in speed runs * Zero hour game jam. http://www.0hgame.eu/ * Brad asks: "Hands-free browsing seeming great until you sneeze and close all your tabs" * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schmidtstingpainindex * If humans got an upgrade, what changes would you want to make? E.g. no pooping, only 4 hours of sleep. * Graham, who evolved to survive car crashes. https://stanflouride.com/2016/07/22/meet-graham-a-human-evolved-to-survive-a-car-crash/ * https://www.mariowiki.com/File:GBCAtomicPurple.png * Is it bad representation to put a dog in a video game and then not let you pet it? How would dogs feel about this? * The "Cool S" and the alphabet shovel * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQdxHi4Pvc * Is it morally conscientious to make sourdough, name it, and basically form a bond with it the way you would with a pet, and then eat it? Is it ok to eat something you've named and deeply care about? * What's a terrible food from your childhood that you love? Microtopics: * Living in the same city all your life. * Migrating your physical co-working space to a virtual co-working space. * Splashing around in your artwork. * A horse-sized great Dane that you ride around. * How human civilization would have been different if early man rode giant chickens rather than horses. * The most testosterone-filled Saturday morning cartoon available. * Transforming into a buff confident cat when it's time to save the day. * Chicken dressage. * Whether Poland has unicorn chickens, and if so, why didn't they put them in The Witcher. * Your giant chicken companion laying a giant egg and staring at you expectantly until you eat the egg. * Chilling out and eating bugs and vegetable scraps. * Having a pair of pliers for a face. * The stupendous cowardice of Steven Spielberg refusing to add feathers to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. * Just how fluffy velociraptors would have to become in order to be considered birbs. * Velociraptors having been about the size of a turkey. * Being eaten by an adorable bird and hugging it from the inside. * Whether Pom Pom is about the size of a beach ball or about the size of a shoggoth. * Sitting on Pom Pom like a pilates ball, and whether he'd be into that. * An extremely clever abuse of our cultural understanding of time. * Making a video game in zero hours. * Preferring tools maintained by small communities. * Making a replacement for Flash without understanding why people like Flash. * Really giving touchscreens the business. * Whether or not touchscreens will be as good as mice and keyboards if we give them another thirty years to evolve. * Noticing a grease print where your ear touched your phone's screen during a call. * Keyboards also being excellent mirrors for how filthy humans are. * Your hands feeling like they're doing something meaningful when you touch your letters. * Starting a hobby where you touch mysterious peppers. * The Schmidt Sting Pain Index making certain stings sound delightful. * The sting of the digger bee: almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard. * The sting of the sweat bee: light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm. * The sting of the bullet ant: pure, intense, brilliant pain, like walking over charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel. * Whether the Bullet Ant is named so because their sting makes you feel like you've been shot. * Couches, where humans go. * Detaching your stuffy nose and leaving it at home until your cold gets better. * Trying to hide from your employer that you don't need to sleep. * Whether or not you'd sleep on purpose even if you didn't have to. * Switching from food and beverages to photosynthesis. * The Atomic Purple boy showing off his pineal gland in anatomy class. * Whether dogs think other dogs are good dogs. * Putting a dog and a petting interface in your game so that you can pet the dog. * Not knowing how to draw but still being able to draw the cool S. * A fantastically evocative way to talk about typing. * Trying to think of something clever and alliterative to say. * Re-learning how to make the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" hand motion when you're 40 years old. * Getting some sourdough starter in a mason jar and immediately shattering the jar on the ground before you even get the chance to name it "Gerald." * Counting the number of bubbles that your sourdough starter makes. * Eating only a small piece of Gerald each time you make a loaf of sourdough. * The yeast throwing a party while the dough rises. * An alternate reality where it's seen as good and noble to eat the dead. * Feeding your prospective lover your body hair. * Adding an egg to ramen so that it's technically healthy. * A parrot that needs to be convinced to eat fruit. * The simplest carb and fat blast you can imagine. * Feeding your parrot whatever it is you're eating for dinner. * Hot dogs and grapes being the perfect size to choke to death on. * Salad Minus The D. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Living in the same city all your life.
  • Migrating your physical co-working space to a virtual co-working space.
  • Splashing around in your artwork.
  • A horse-sized great Dane that you ride around.
  • How human civilization would have been different if early man rode giant chickens rather than horses.
  • The most testosterone-filled Saturday morning cartoon available.
  • Transforming into a buff confident cat when it's time to save the day.
  • Chicken dressage.
  • Whether Poland has unicorn chickens, and if so, why didn't they put them in The Witcher.
  • Your giant chicken companion laying a giant egg and staring at you expectantly until you eat the egg.
  • Chilling out and eating bugs and vegetable scraps.
  • Having a pair of pliers for a face.
  • The stupendous cowardice of Steven Spielberg refusing to add feathers to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
  • Just how fluffy velociraptors would have to become in order to be considered birbs.
  • Velociraptors having been about the size of a turkey.
  • Being eaten by an adorable bird and hugging it from the inside.
  • Whether Pom Pom is about the size of a beach ball or about the size of a shoggoth.
  • Sitting on Pom Pom like a pilates ball, and whether he'd be into that.
  • An extremely clever abuse of our cultural understanding of time.
  • Making a video game in zero hours.
  • Preferring tools maintained by small communities.
  • Making a replacement for Flash without understanding why people like Flash.
  • Really giving touchscreens the business.
  • Whether or not touchscreens will be as good as mice and keyboards if we give them another thirty years to evolve.
  • Noticing a grease print where your ear touched your phone's screen during a call.
  • Keyboards also being excellent mirrors for how filthy humans are.
  • Your hands feeling like they're doing something meaningful when you touch your letters.
  • Starting a hobby where you touch mysterious peppers.
  • The Schmidt Sting Pain Index making certain stings sound delightful.
  • The sting of the digger bee: almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.
  • The sting of the sweat bee: light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
  • The sting of the bullet ant: pure, intense, brilliant pain, like walking over charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel.
  • Whether the Bullet Ant is named so because their sting makes you feel like you've been shot.
  • Couches, where humans go.
  • Detaching your stuffy nose and leaving it at home until your cold gets better.
  • Trying to hide from your employer that you don't need to sleep.
  • Whether or not you'd sleep on purpose even if you didn't have to.
  • Switching from food and beverages to photosynthesis.
  • The Atomic Purple boy showing off his pineal gland in anatomy class.
  • Whether dogs think other dogs are good dogs.
  • Putting a dog and a petting interface in your game so that you can pet the dog.
  • Not knowing how to draw but still being able to draw the cool S.
  • A fantastically evocative way to talk about typing.
  • Trying to think of something clever and alliterative to say.
  • Re-learning how to make the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" hand motion when you're 40 years old.
  • Getting some sourdough starter in a mason jar and immediately shattering the jar on the ground before you even get the chance to name it "Gerald."
  • Counting the number of bubbles that your sourdough starter makes.
  • Eating only a small piece of Gerald each time you make a loaf of sourdough.
  • The yeast throwing a party while the dough rises.
  • An alternate reality where it's seen as good and noble to eat the dead.
  • Feeding your prospective lover your body hair.
  • Adding an egg to ramen so that it's technically healthy.
  • A parrot that needs to be convinced to eat fruit.
  • The simplest carb and fat blast you can imagine.
  • Feeding your parrot whatever it is you're eating for dinner.
  • Hot dogs and grapes being the perfect size to choke to death on.
  • Salad Minus The D.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Living in the same city all your life.
  • Migrating your physical co-working space to a virtual co-working space.
  • Splashing around in your artwork.
  • A horse-sized great Dane that you ride around.
  • How human civilization would have been different if early man rode giant chickens rather than horses.
  • The most testosterone-filled Saturday morning cartoon available.
  • Transforming into a buff confident cat when it's time to save the day.
  • Chicken dressage.
  • Whether Poland has unicorn chickens, and if so, why didn't they put them in The Witcher.
  • Your giant chicken companion laying a giant egg and staring at you expectantly until you eat the egg.
  • Chilling out and eating bugs and vegetable scraps.
  • Having a pair of pliers for a face.
  • The stupendous cowardice of Steven Spielberg refusing to add feathers to the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
  • Just how fluffy velociraptors would have to become in order to be considered birbs.
  • Velociraptors having been about the size of a turkey.
  • Being eaten by an adorable bird and hugging it from the inside.
  • Whether Pom Pom is about the size of a beach ball or about the size of a shoggoth.
  • Sitting on Pom Pom like a pilates ball, and whether he'd be into that.
  • An extremely clever abuse of our cultural understanding of time.
  • Making a video game in zero hours.
  • Preferring tools maintained by small communities.
  • Making a replacement for Flash without understanding why people like Flash.
  • Really giving touchscreens the business.
  • Whether or not touchscreens will be as good as mice and keyboards if we give them another thirty years to evolve.
  • Noticing a grease print where your ear touched your phone's screen during a call.
  • Keyboards also being excellent mirrors for how filthy humans are.
  • Your hands feeling like they're doing something meaningful when you touch your letters.
  • Starting a hobby where you touch mysterious peppers.
  • The Schmidt Sting Pain Index making certain stings sound delightful.
  • The sting of the digger bee: almost pleasant, a lover just bit your earlobe a little too hard.
  • The sting of the sweat bee: light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
  • The sting of the bullet ant: pure, intense, brilliant pain, like walking over charcoal with a three-inch nail embedded in your heel.
  • Whether the Bullet Ant is named so because their sting makes you feel like you've been shot.
  • Couches, where humans go.
  • Detaching your stuffy nose and leaving it at home until your cold gets better.
  • Trying to hide from your employer that you don't need to sleep.
  • Whether or not you'd sleep on purpose even if you didn't have to.
  • Switching from food and beverages to photosynthesis.
  • The Atomic Purple boy showing off his pineal gland in anatomy class.
  • Whether dogs think other dogs are good dogs.
  • Putting a dog and a petting interface in your game so that you can pet the dog.
  • Not knowing how to draw but still being able to draw the cool S.
  • A fantastically evocative way to talk about typing.
  • Trying to think of something clever and alliterative to say.
  • Re-learning how to make the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" hand motion when you're 40 years old.
  • Getting some sourdough starter in a mason jar and immediately shattering the jar on the ground before you even get the chance to name it "Gerald."
  • Counting the number of bubbles that your sourdough starter makes.
  • Eating only a small piece of Gerald each time you make a loaf of sourdough.
  • The yeast throwing a party while the dough rises.
  • An alternate reality where it's seen as good and noble to eat the dead.
  • Feeding your prospective lover your body hair.
  • Adding an egg to ramen so that it's technically healthy.
  • A parrot that needs to be convinced to eat fruit.
  • The simplest carb and fat blast you can imagine.
  • Feeding your parrot whatever it is you're eating for dinner.
  • Hot dogs and grapes being the perfect size to choke to death on.
  • Salad Minus The D.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 32. Tandem CPAP https://topiclords.com/tandem-cpap a53b522a-2e24-4f51-b473-4175633e46c9 Mon, 01 Jun 2020 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: Rachel and Laura. We discuss wooden clothes hangers, anthropomorphic food, breathing soup in your sleep, sliding doors, magically acquiring useless skills, trying to interpret stories from hundreds of years ago, and Multi-Mario races. 1:04:08 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Rachel is on Twitter as @rachel_sala. Check out Glitch CIty! https://glitch.city/ * Laura is on Twitter as @lmichet and the web at http://lauramichet.com/. Check out Industries of Titan! https://braceyourselfgames.com/industries-of-titan/ Topics: * 4:10 All clothes hangers should be made of wood rather than wire or plastic. * 8:32 How do you feel about food mascots shaped like the food you're about to eat? * Will Graham discovers Hannibal's love for sweetbreads at ~3:10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbcI6h1_bHg * 12:31 I could put any liquid in my CPAP humidifier. * 18:21 Mallow asks: "Sliding doors. Are people in favor? Opposed? Terrified of them? Feels like in the US we've converged on a kind of door that just isn't that great." * 23:48 If there was one silly skill you could acquire with no effort, like being good at karaoke, what would it be? * https://platypusegg.bandcamp.com/ * 34:08 People in different eras interpreting subtleties in media differently--for example, people not "getting" all of Shakespeare's jokes, interpreting the ending of The Wicker Man differently, etc. * https://nextworldover.tumblr.com/post/615235424343998464/patricia-von-arundel-friendlytroll * 45:07 Multi-Mario races. * World record Mario 1862 run in 37h57m. https://www.twitch.tv/videos/588944589 * https://iggmarathon.com/ Microtopics: * The comfort of a Discord voice channel where everyone is muted. * A Discord voice channel where you go to poop. * Perceiving a pun and wanting to forget it. * Being in total agreement as to whether we should discuss topics. * The hidden cost of plastic coat hangers. * Contemplating the luxury of your collection of fancy wooden coat hangers. * Never having purchased coat hangers in your life but still ending up with a bunch of them. * Accruing heavier and heavier clothing as you age. * Not needing coat hangers because you just drape all your clothes over the back of a folding chair. * A barbecue joint where the mascot is a sapient pig that is super thrilled that you're about to eat him. * Alienation from the food production process. * The weird zone where pigs are slaughtered in an alternate dimension outside our ken. * Chuck E. Cheese's real name. * The sweetest meat you'll ever eat. * Sweetmeats vs. sweetbreads. * A restaurant with the slogan "the sweetest bread you'll ever eat" and the mascot is a talking Thymus gland. * Thymus glands just being in you someplace. * Putting soup in your humidifier and saving yourself the trouble of making breakfast. * Accidentally blasting yourself with mold all night. * Sharing a CPAP machine with your life partner, like a tandem bike. * Adding a splash of bleach to your soup so it won't grow mold in your humidifier overnight. * Taking action to ensure huge amounts of water enters your body because otherwise the water will probably just sit there. * Every sliding glass door having a big colorful sticker on it because once someone ran into it and broke their nose or crashed through or both. * The worst-designed lateral thinking puzzle exacerbating your fear of heights. * All the rollers in the sliding glass door being crushed so you're just dragging a huge pane of glass along the ground. * Sliding glass doors being perfectly safe because they cannot break; they can only become windows. * Increasing the amount of natural light in your home via strategic placement of mirrors. * Holding a mirror and pointing the sun at your face. * Everyone loving your ukulele cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, but only the first time they hear it. * Knowing how to play a bunch of instruments but they all weigh 300 pounds. * Making a xylophone out PVC pipes you found in a dumpster and playing Ode to Joy on it. * Solving this portable xylophone problem once and for all by googling "portable xylophone." * A gigantic marimba that is built into the room it's in like a supercomputer of sound. * Wanting to go on a weird xylophone tour. * Being good enough to impress people who don't know anything about that particular skill. * Wanting to play an instrument that leaves your mouth free to have a jolly conversation. * Combining our powers to identify the hexagonal pirate accordion. * Circus jazz. * Scottish peasants swaying together like kindergarteners singing a jolly pagan song as the flames approach. * Fifty years ago, being horrified when pagans burn the character representing cops and religious authority alive, but nowadays everybody owns a guillotine and worships Alan Moore's snake god. * Whether the Nicholas Cage Wicker Man being hilarious at release was inspired by the 1970s Wicker Man being hilarious in a modern context. * Jokes that modern audiences don't have the context to understand. * Works written in 17th or 18th century English needing localization as much as works in a foreign language. * Not linking to an edifying Tumblr thread because Tumblr's threading is the worst. * People in the 1940s just talking like that actually. * Movie actors finally learning to act sometime around 1950. * Staying awake for 38 hours to get every star, moon and shine in the 3D Mario series. * Our failings as adult humans. * Doing game jams where you actually sleep. * Scoping your game development project to allow sleep during development. * Romanticizing the idea of staying up all night doing something fun because now you're an adult with adult responsibilities and shirt resilience. * Not being able to justify doing something for fun so you tack on a charity drive. * The shifting sense of what's important and what's moral that defines the human experience over time. * Whether or not you could pay us to play World of Warcraft. * Your guild leader getting in fistfights all the time and eventually going up jail and appointing you temporary guild leader because he doesn't realize you're a woman. * Training your brain to be okay playing just one video game for a while. * A hat that is so ugly you had to give it to a friend. * Giving your goth dog friend pastel outfits to wear on Bunny Day. * Lamenting that there is no other place or time to discuss topics. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The comfort of a Discord voice channel where everyone is muted.
  • A Discord voice channel where you go to poop.
  • Perceiving a pun and wanting to forget it.
  • Being in total agreement as to whether we should discuss topics.
  • The hidden cost of plastic coat hangers.
  • Contemplating the luxury of your collection of fancy wooden coat hangers.
  • Never having purchased coat hangers in your life but still ending up with a bunch of them.
  • Accruing heavier and heavier clothing as you age.
  • Not needing coat hangers because you just drape all your clothes over the back of a folding chair.
  • A barbecue joint where the mascot is a sapient pig that is super thrilled that you're about to eat him.
  • Alienation from the food production process.
  • The weird zone where pigs are slaughtered in an alternate dimension outside our ken.
  • Chuck E. Cheese's real name.
  • The sweetest meat you'll ever eat.
  • Sweetmeats vs. sweetbreads.
  • A restaurant with the slogan "the sweetest bread you'll ever eat" and the mascot is a talking Thymus gland.
  • Thymus glands just being in you someplace.
  • Putting soup in your humidifier and saving yourself the trouble of making breakfast.
  • Accidentally blasting yourself with mold all night.
  • Sharing a CPAP machine with your life partner, like a tandem bike.
  • Adding a splash of bleach to your soup so it won't grow mold in your humidifier overnight.
  • Taking action to ensure huge amounts of water enters your body because otherwise the water will probably just sit there.
  • Every sliding glass door having a big colorful sticker on it because once someone ran into it and broke their nose or crashed through or both.
  • The worst-designed lateral thinking puzzle exacerbating your fear of heights.
  • All the rollers in the sliding glass door being crushed so you're just dragging a huge pane of glass along the ground.
  • Sliding glass doors being perfectly safe because they cannot break; they can only become windows.
  • Increasing the amount of natural light in your home via strategic placement of mirrors.
  • Holding a mirror and pointing the sun at your face.
  • Everyone loving your ukulele cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, but only the first time they hear it.
  • Knowing how to play a bunch of instruments but they all weigh 300 pounds.
  • Making a xylophone out PVC pipes you found in a dumpster and playing Ode to Joy on it.
  • Solving this portable xylophone problem once and for all by googling "portable xylophone."
  • A gigantic marimba that is built into the room it's in like a supercomputer of sound.
  • Wanting to go on a weird xylophone tour.
  • Being good enough to impress people who don't know anything about that particular skill.
  • Wanting to play an instrument that leaves your mouth free to have a jolly conversation.
  • Combining our powers to identify the hexagonal pirate accordion.
  • Circus jazz.
  • Scottish peasants swaying together like kindergarteners singing a jolly pagan song as the flames approach.
  • Fifty years ago, being horrified when pagans burn the character representing cops and religious authority alive, but nowadays everybody owns a guillotine and worships Alan Moore's snake god.
  • Whether the Nicholas Cage Wicker Man being hilarious at release was inspired by the 1970s Wicker Man being hilarious in a modern context.
  • Jokes that modern audiences don't have the context to understand.
  • Works written in 17th or 18th century English needing localization as much as works in a foreign language.
  • Not linking to an edifying Tumblr thread because Tumblr's threading is the worst.
  • People in the 1940s just talking like that actually.
  • Movie actors finally learning to act sometime around 1950.
  • Staying awake for 38 hours to get every star, moon and shine in the 3D Mario series.
  • Our failings as adult humans.
  • Doing game jams where you actually sleep.
  • Scoping your game development project to allow sleep during development.
  • Romanticizing the idea of staying up all night doing something fun because now you're an adult with adult responsibilities and shirt resilience.
  • Not being able to justify doing something for fun so you tack on a charity drive.
  • The shifting sense of what's important and what's moral that defines the human experience over time.
  • Whether or not you could pay us to play World of Warcraft.
  • Your guild leader getting in fistfights all the time and eventually going up jail and appointing you temporary guild leader because he doesn't realize you're a woman.
  • Training your brain to be okay playing just one video game for a while.
  • A hat that is so ugly you had to give it to a friend.
  • Giving your goth dog friend pastel outfits to wear on Bunny Day.
  • Lamenting that there is no other place or time to discuss topics.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The comfort of a Discord voice channel where everyone is muted.
  • A Discord voice channel where you go to poop.
  • Perceiving a pun and wanting to forget it.
  • Being in total agreement as to whether we should discuss topics.
  • The hidden cost of plastic coat hangers.
  • Contemplating the luxury of your collection of fancy wooden coat hangers.
  • Never having purchased coat hangers in your life but still ending up with a bunch of them.
  • Accruing heavier and heavier clothing as you age.
  • Not needing coat hangers because you just drape all your clothes over the back of a folding chair.
  • A barbecue joint where the mascot is a sapient pig that is super thrilled that you're about to eat him.
  • Alienation from the food production process.
  • The weird zone where pigs are slaughtered in an alternate dimension outside our ken.
  • Chuck E. Cheese's real name.
  • The sweetest meat you'll ever eat.
  • Sweetmeats vs. sweetbreads.
  • A restaurant with the slogan "the sweetest bread you'll ever eat" and the mascot is a talking Thymus gland.
  • Thymus glands just being in you someplace.
  • Putting soup in your humidifier and saving yourself the trouble of making breakfast.
  • Accidentally blasting yourself with mold all night.
  • Sharing a CPAP machine with your life partner, like a tandem bike.
  • Adding a splash of bleach to your soup so it won't grow mold in your humidifier overnight.
  • Taking action to ensure huge amounts of water enters your body because otherwise the water will probably just sit there.
  • Every sliding glass door having a big colorful sticker on it because once someone ran into it and broke their nose or crashed through or both.
  • The worst-designed lateral thinking puzzle exacerbating your fear of heights.
  • All the rollers in the sliding glass door being crushed so you're just dragging a huge pane of glass along the ground.
  • Sliding glass doors being perfectly safe because they cannot break; they can only become windows.
  • Increasing the amount of natural light in your home via strategic placement of mirrors.
  • Holding a mirror and pointing the sun at your face.
  • Everyone loving your ukulele cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, but only the first time they hear it.
  • Knowing how to play a bunch of instruments but they all weigh 300 pounds.
  • Making a xylophone out PVC pipes you found in a dumpster and playing Ode to Joy on it.
  • Solving this portable xylophone problem once and for all by googling "portable xylophone."
  • A gigantic marimba that is built into the room it's in like a supercomputer of sound.
  • Wanting to go on a weird xylophone tour.
  • Being good enough to impress people who don't know anything about that particular skill.
  • Wanting to play an instrument that leaves your mouth free to have a jolly conversation.
  • Combining our powers to identify the hexagonal pirate accordion.
  • Circus jazz.
  • Scottish peasants swaying together like kindergarteners singing a jolly pagan song as the flames approach.
  • Fifty years ago, being horrified when pagans burn the character representing cops and religious authority alive, but nowadays everybody owns a guillotine and worships Alan Moore's snake god.
  • Whether the Nicholas Cage Wicker Man being hilarious at release was inspired by the 1970s Wicker Man being hilarious in a modern context.
  • Jokes that modern audiences don't have the context to understand.
  • Works written in 17th or 18th century English needing localization as much as works in a foreign language.
  • Not linking to an edifying Tumblr thread because Tumblr's threading is the worst.
  • People in the 1940s just talking like that actually.
  • Movie actors finally learning to act sometime around 1950.
  • Staying awake for 38 hours to get every star, moon and shine in the 3D Mario series.
  • Our failings as adult humans.
  • Doing game jams where you actually sleep.
  • Scoping your game development project to allow sleep during development.
  • Romanticizing the idea of staying up all night doing something fun because now you're an adult with adult responsibilities and shirt resilience.
  • Not being able to justify doing something for fun so you tack on a charity drive.
  • The shifting sense of what's important and what's moral that defines the human experience over time.
  • Whether or not you could pay us to play World of Warcraft.
  • Your guild leader getting in fistfights all the time and eventually going up jail and appointing you temporary guild leader because he doesn't realize you're a woman.
  • Training your brain to be okay playing just one video game for a while.
  • A hat that is so ugly you had to give it to a friend.
  • Giving your goth dog friend pastel outfits to wear on Bunny Day.
  • Lamenting that there is no other place or time to discuss topics.

Support Topic Lords

]]>