web01.fireside.fm Sun, 12 Apr 2026 10:37:39 -0500 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Phone” https://topiclords.com/tags/phone Mon, 11 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. en-us episodic The only place on the internet you can hear topics discussed! Jim Stormdancer Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. yes Jim Stormdancer jim@goombas.org 203. Only Girls Get Duck Combs for Christmas https://topiclords.com/only-girls-get-duck-combs-for-christmas 135fc497-e847-40f6-9834-3bd991d0a3b4 Mon, 11 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: CisHetKayFaber and Phone. We discuss Metal Gear Solid, children being unable to enjoy things, this extremely specific list of danger signs, Bank Account by Louis Cole, and technical beliefs which may be regarded as superstition but are true to your experience. 1:08:17 yes Lords: * CisHetKayFaber * Phone Topics: * Correction regarding a previous topic where I stated that Metal Gear Solid 2 was the most important game of 2023 * https://twitter.com/othatsraspberry * Children cannot be trusted to enjoy things, and maybe that's fine * This list of extremely specific danger signs * https://nextworldover.tumblr.com/post/720069329613357056 * https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/3/3597ddeb-e52e-4cda-a59c-c64600489fea/Tkr719yF.jpg * https://files.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads/images/3/3597ddeb-e52e-4cda-a59c-c64600489fea/9unswnr6.jpg * "Bank Account" by Louis Cole * https://genius.com/Louis-cole-bank-account-lyrics * Technical beliefs you have which may be regarded as superstition, but are true to your experience (I'm convinced my new microphone is worse) Microtopics: * The part where Jim talks. * Splitting your mutuals. * The kind of person who goes to Bluesky vs. who goes to Mastodon. * A relationship with an editor. (Like Emacs.) (Or Vim) * Wanting to see what Shaq posts. * The human zoo of bad takes. * Who sent Shaq a Bluesky invite?? * O' That's Raspberry * Metal Gear Apologies. * Sending Konami money to fund the port of Metal Gear Solid 4. * Optimizing for extremely specific hardware and getting entrenched. * Shaders languishing on PS3. * PT's final resting place. * Konami diversifying into video games in the 80s when it's lucrative and dediversifying when it stops being as lucrative in the 2010s * A lot of weird business practices involving Slurpees and banking * All the places the Vita port of Metal Gear Solid 2 went on to. * The Worlds of Power novelization of Metal Gear. * A Narpas Sword scenario. * Cutscene inflation. * What happened to cutscene lengths after voice acting became cheap. * Encoding movies on a disc for free. * Time to Crate vs. Time to When Your Input Matters. * Ramen waterslides. * Annoying things that little kids do that adults also do. * Playing video games and parenting at the same time. * Whether it's still abuse if it's happening in the Netherlands. * Expectations people place on their children for Christmas vs. for Halloween. * Distorted beer. * Getting a bunch of stuff you don't want for Christmas. * A sweater with Mario or a cool dinosaur on it. * Swapping the Barbie and GI Joe voice boxes and whether that's a plot point of the Barbie movie. * Chewbacca dancing on top of the twin towers as they collapse. * Taking wire cutters to the electrical substation and getting some free copper. * I don't feel 130 kilovolts; I'm a perfect sphere. * Creating a situation where people are safe even if they're not paying attention. * Flying around in a tornado googling "what do you do when you're flying around in a tornado" * Is it .webm or .webnn? * All the three letter acronyms that ought to be on the internet rug you can't get. * The giant System 7 floppy disk blanket. * A blanket with the Mac startup sound on it. * Missing out on some drum solos. * A poem based on a true story. * Being afraid to look at your tax returns. * Getting single taxed and double social security benefits. * Replacing your old snowball with a new snowball. * Your thing as a person trained in audio engineering. * Getting a very insensitive microphone so that it only picks up the sounds you want it to. * Jim's advice for recording your voice. * A Shure SM-57B with the Cloudlifter. * Technical knowledge for smart people. * Solid state drives failing without warning. * A high pitched whine imparting a natural warmth to your voice. * Recording your voice with a $15 boom arm. * Using shittier tools as you get more experienced. * A cover of a Weezer song that's rendered unlistenable hematite l because of the string squeak. * The inability to process and retain information about LinkedIn's purpose. Lords:

  • CisHetKayFaber
  • Phone

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The part where Jim talks.
  • Splitting your mutuals.
  • The kind of person who goes to Bluesky vs. who goes to Mastodon.
  • A relationship with an editor. (Like Emacs.) (Or Vim)
  • Wanting to see what Shaq posts.
  • The human zoo of bad takes.
  • Who sent Shaq a Bluesky invite??
  • O' That's Raspberry
  • Metal Gear Apologies.
  • Sending Konami money to fund the port of Metal Gear Solid 4.
  • Optimizing for extremely specific hardware and getting entrenched.
  • Shaders languishing on PS3.
  • PT's final resting place.
  • Konami diversifying into video games in the 80s when it's lucrative and dediversifying when it stops being as lucrative in the 2010s
  • A lot of weird business practices involving Slurpees and banking
  • All the places the Vita port of Metal Gear Solid 2 went on to.
  • The Worlds of Power novelization of Metal Gear.
  • A Narpas Sword scenario.
  • Cutscene inflation.
  • What happened to cutscene lengths after voice acting became cheap.
  • Encoding movies on a disc for free.
  • Time to Crate vs. Time to When Your Input Matters.
  • Ramen waterslides.
  • Annoying things that little kids do that adults also do.
  • Playing video games and parenting at the same time.
  • Whether it's still abuse if it's happening in the Netherlands.
  • Expectations people place on their children for Christmas vs. for Halloween.
  • Distorted beer.
  • Getting a bunch of stuff you don't want for Christmas.
  • A sweater with Mario or a cool dinosaur on it.
  • Swapping the Barbie and GI Joe voice boxes and whether that's a plot point of the Barbie movie.
  • Chewbacca dancing on top of the twin towers as they collapse.
  • Taking wire cutters to the electrical substation and getting some free copper.
  • I don't feel 130 kilovolts; I'm a perfect sphere.
  • Creating a situation where people are safe even if they're not paying attention.
  • Flying around in a tornado googling "what do you do when you're flying around in a tornado"
  • Is it .webm or .webnn?
  • All the three letter acronyms that ought to be on the internet rug you can't get.
  • The giant System 7 floppy disk blanket.
  • A blanket with the Mac startup sound on it.
  • Missing out on some drum solos.
  • A poem based on a true story.
  • Being afraid to look at your tax returns.
  • Getting single taxed and double social security benefits.
  • Replacing your old snowball with a new snowball.
  • Your thing as a person trained in audio engineering.
  • Getting a very insensitive microphone so that it only picks up the sounds you want it to.
  • Jim's advice for recording your voice.
  • A Shure SM-57B with the Cloudlifter.
  • Technical knowledge for smart people.
  • Solid state drives failing without warning.
  • A high pitched whine imparting a natural warmth to your voice.
  • Recording your voice with a $15 boom arm.
  • Using shittier tools as you get more experienced.
  • A cover of a Weezer song that's rendered unlistenable hematite l because of the string squeak.
  • The inability to process and retain information about LinkedIn's purpose.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

  • CisHetKayFaber
  • Phone

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The part where Jim talks.
  • Splitting your mutuals.
  • The kind of person who goes to Bluesky vs. who goes to Mastodon.
  • A relationship with an editor. (Like Emacs.) (Or Vim)
  • Wanting to see what Shaq posts.
  • The human zoo of bad takes.
  • Who sent Shaq a Bluesky invite??
  • O' That's Raspberry
  • Metal Gear Apologies.
  • Sending Konami money to fund the port of Metal Gear Solid 4.
  • Optimizing for extremely specific hardware and getting entrenched.
  • Shaders languishing on PS3.
  • PT's final resting place.
  • Konami diversifying into video games in the 80s when it's lucrative and dediversifying when it stops being as lucrative in the 2010s
  • A lot of weird business practices involving Slurpees and banking
  • All the places the Vita port of Metal Gear Solid 2 went on to.
  • The Worlds of Power novelization of Metal Gear.
  • A Narpas Sword scenario.
  • Cutscene inflation.
  • What happened to cutscene lengths after voice acting became cheap.
  • Encoding movies on a disc for free.
  • Time to Crate vs. Time to When Your Input Matters.
  • Ramen waterslides.
  • Annoying things that little kids do that adults also do.
  • Playing video games and parenting at the same time.
  • Whether it's still abuse if it's happening in the Netherlands.
  • Expectations people place on their children for Christmas vs. for Halloween.
  • Distorted beer.
  • Getting a bunch of stuff you don't want for Christmas.
  • A sweater with Mario or a cool dinosaur on it.
  • Swapping the Barbie and GI Joe voice boxes and whether that's a plot point of the Barbie movie.
  • Chewbacca dancing on top of the twin towers as they collapse.
  • Taking wire cutters to the electrical substation and getting some free copper.
  • I don't feel 130 kilovolts; I'm a perfect sphere.
  • Creating a situation where people are safe even if they're not paying attention.
  • Flying around in a tornado googling "what do you do when you're flying around in a tornado"
  • Is it .webm or .webnn?
  • All the three letter acronyms that ought to be on the internet rug you can't get.
  • The giant System 7 floppy disk blanket.
  • A blanket with the Mac startup sound on it.
  • Missing out on some drum solos.
  • A poem based on a true story.
  • Being afraid to look at your tax returns.
  • Getting single taxed and double social security benefits.
  • Replacing your old snowball with a new snowball.
  • Your thing as a person trained in audio engineering.
  • Getting a very insensitive microphone so that it only picks up the sounds you want it to.
  • Jim's advice for recording your voice.
  • A Shure SM-57B with the Cloudlifter.
  • Technical knowledge for smart people.
  • Solid state drives failing without warning.
  • A high pitched whine imparting a natural warmth to your voice.
  • Recording your voice with a $15 boom arm.
  • Using shittier tools as you get more experienced.
  • A cover of a Weezer song that's rendered unlistenable hematite l because of the string squeak.
  • The inability to process and retain information about LinkedIn's purpose.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 178. The Lathe of Kojima https://topiclords.com/the-lathe-of-kojima 31d8c4cd-287d-4951-9679-7c8ad40138b0 Mon, 20 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: CisHetKayfaber and Phone. We discuss calculus ruining incremental games, small form factor PCs, HDR, Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss, and Metal Gear Solid 2: the most important game of 2023. 1:06:15 yes Lords: * CisHetKeyfaber * Phone Topics: * Calculus ruined incremental games for me * SFF PCs are ridiculous and hilarious * What's the deal with HDR? * Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss (from the movie My Girl) * Metal Gear Solid 2 is the most important game of 2023 Microtopics: * Appropriating wrestling culture. * Idle games vs. incremental games. * Trimps. * Physics and calculus educators each pretending the other field doesn't exist. * Jerk as a unit of measurement. * Ruining a child's mathematical career by teaching them linear algebra. * Floating point precision. * Optimizing the area under the curve. * What's the jerk of my progress? * Position, speed, acceleration, jerk, jounce, hyperjerk, metajounce, binge warp, migrational spank, barflurch, dark jaunt, catastrophic snap, whipfuck, and Newton's Torment. * A real aerodynamic phenomenon. * Ruining the bench racers. * The kind of people who form an online community around a game. * The NGU IDLE speedrunning community. * Slaying the starting area killing slimes for 90 hours. * How big 26.8 liters is. * Rehoming your PC. * How many shoeboxes your PC case is equivalent to. * A graphics card that is perpendicular to the motherboard. * How many parakeets could fit in your PC case using modern parakeet packing algorithms. * Making a novelty enormous soda can to use as a fake scale comparison in photos. * Bending your hand at a weird angle. * JEBKAC. * The jerk of your PC case. * Turning the gamma up in order to see a video game. * Squashed gamuts. * Adding more bits to describe the color. * HDMI stratification. * The colors that future mankind will invent. * Being unable to use certain hex color triplets because the Pantone license expired. * When ice cream tastes good. * Poems written by works in progress. * B.R.R. (Before Rocky Road) * Not having seen My Girl but having seen the cover at Blockbuster. * Growing up in a mortuary. * Bragging that you know how to play the theme to Jaws on the piano. * Nick at Nite. * Playing with Legos with I Love Lucy in the background. * Timeshared cable channels. * Nickelodeon's audience being kids and Nick at Nite's audience being the elderly so the channel's average audience is middle-aged. * The most important game of 2023. * The core switcheroo. * Psycho Mantis reading your memory card. * Playing a really whiny guy who just sucks. * Whether they've invented pausing cutscenes yet. * Pausing a 40 minute cutscene to go make pizza rolls. * AI heel turns. * Metal Gear Solid 2 beating out Vampire Survivors for most important game of 2022. * Why Hideo Kojima's dialog sounds like an American 90s movie. * Political theory outsider art. * The anti-Noby Noby Boy. * A discord channel brimming with Lords. Lords:

  • CisHetKeyfaber
  • Phone

Topics:

  • Calculus ruined incremental games for me
  • SFF PCs are ridiculous and hilarious
  • What's the deal with HDR?
  • Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss (from the movie My Girl)
  • Metal Gear Solid 2 is the most important game of 2023

Microtopics:

  • Appropriating wrestling culture.
  • Idle games vs. incremental games.
  • Trimps.
  • Physics and calculus educators each pretending the other field doesn't exist.
  • Jerk as a unit of measurement.
  • Ruining a child's mathematical career by teaching them linear algebra.
  • Floating point precision.
  • Optimizing the area under the curve.
  • What's the jerk of my progress?
  • Position, speed, acceleration, jerk, jounce, hyperjerk, metajounce, binge warp, migrational spank, barflurch, dark jaunt, catastrophic snap, whipfuck, and Newton's Torment.
  • A real aerodynamic phenomenon.
  • Ruining the bench racers.
  • The kind of people who form an online community around a game.
  • The NGU IDLE speedrunning community.
  • Slaying the starting area killing slimes for 90 hours.
  • How big 26.8 liters is.
  • Rehoming your PC.
  • How many shoeboxes your PC case is equivalent to.
  • A graphics card that is perpendicular to the motherboard.
  • How many parakeets could fit in your PC case using modern parakeet packing algorithms.
  • Making a novelty enormous soda can to use as a fake scale comparison in photos.
  • Bending your hand at a weird angle.
  • JEBKAC.
  • The jerk of your PC case.
  • Turning the gamma up in order to see a video game.
  • Squashed gamuts.
  • Adding more bits to describe the color.
  • HDMI stratification.
  • The colors that future mankind will invent.
  • Being unable to use certain hex color triplets because the Pantone license expired.
  • When ice cream tastes good.
  • Poems written by works in progress.
  • B.R.R. (Before Rocky Road)
  • Not having seen My Girl but having seen the cover at Blockbuster.
  • Growing up in a mortuary.
  • Bragging that you know how to play the theme to Jaws on the piano.
  • Nick at Nite.
  • Playing with Legos with I Love Lucy in the background.
  • Timeshared cable channels.
  • Nickelodeon's audience being kids and Nick at Nite's audience being the elderly so the channel's average audience is middle-aged.
  • The most important game of 2023.
  • The core switcheroo.
  • Psycho Mantis reading your memory card.
  • Playing a really whiny guy who just sucks.
  • Whether they've invented pausing cutscenes yet.
  • Pausing a 40 minute cutscene to go make pizza rolls.
  • AI heel turns.
  • Metal Gear Solid 2 beating out Vampire Survivors for most important game of 2022.
  • Why Hideo Kojima's dialog sounds like an American 90s movie.
  • Political theory outsider art.
  • The anti-Noby Noby Boy.
  • A discord channel brimming with Lords.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

  • CisHetKeyfaber
  • Phone

Topics:

  • Calculus ruined incremental games for me
  • SFF PCs are ridiculous and hilarious
  • What's the deal with HDR?
  • Ode to Ice Cream by Vada Sultenfuss (from the movie My Girl)
  • Metal Gear Solid 2 is the most important game of 2023

Microtopics:

  • Appropriating wrestling culture.
  • Idle games vs. incremental games.
  • Trimps.
  • Physics and calculus educators each pretending the other field doesn't exist.
  • Jerk as a unit of measurement.
  • Ruining a child's mathematical career by teaching them linear algebra.
  • Floating point precision.
  • Optimizing the area under the curve.
  • What's the jerk of my progress?
  • Position, speed, acceleration, jerk, jounce, hyperjerk, metajounce, binge warp, migrational spank, barflurch, dark jaunt, catastrophic snap, whipfuck, and Newton's Torment.
  • A real aerodynamic phenomenon.
  • Ruining the bench racers.
  • The kind of people who form an online community around a game.
  • The NGU IDLE speedrunning community.
  • Slaying the starting area killing slimes for 90 hours.
  • How big 26.8 liters is.
  • Rehoming your PC.
  • How many shoeboxes your PC case is equivalent to.
  • A graphics card that is perpendicular to the motherboard.
  • How many parakeets could fit in your PC case using modern parakeet packing algorithms.
  • Making a novelty enormous soda can to use as a fake scale comparison in photos.
  • Bending your hand at a weird angle.
  • JEBKAC.
  • The jerk of your PC case.
  • Turning the gamma up in order to see a video game.
  • Squashed gamuts.
  • Adding more bits to describe the color.
  • HDMI stratification.
  • The colors that future mankind will invent.
  • Being unable to use certain hex color triplets because the Pantone license expired.
  • When ice cream tastes good.
  • Poems written by works in progress.
  • B.R.R. (Before Rocky Road)
  • Not having seen My Girl but having seen the cover at Blockbuster.
  • Growing up in a mortuary.
  • Bragging that you know how to play the theme to Jaws on the piano.
  • Nick at Nite.
  • Playing with Legos with I Love Lucy in the background.
  • Timeshared cable channels.
  • Nickelodeon's audience being kids and Nick at Nite's audience being the elderly so the channel's average audience is middle-aged.
  • The most important game of 2023.
  • The core switcheroo.
  • Psycho Mantis reading your memory card.
  • Playing a really whiny guy who just sucks.
  • Whether they've invented pausing cutscenes yet.
  • Pausing a 40 minute cutscene to go make pizza rolls.
  • AI heel turns.
  • Metal Gear Solid 2 beating out Vampire Survivors for most important game of 2022.
  • Why Hideo Kojima's dialog sounds like an American 90s movie.
  • Political theory outsider art.
  • The anti-Noby Noby Boy.
  • A discord channel brimming with Lords.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 148. Dual-Wielding Ingresses https://topiclords.com/dual-wielding-ingresses 0e2ac5ab-cebf-4c87-9413-3a3b2a257725 Mon, 22 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: CisHetKayFaber and Phone. We discuss Japanese adult video titles, 3DS Street Pass, service at Lou's Cafe, The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, and people that do things. 1:08:16 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * CisHetKayFaber * https://twitter.com/CisHetKayFaber/ * Phone Topic Lords: * Why are Japanese adult video titles so long and weird? * 3DS Street Pass * Service at Lou's Diner is incredible * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYnEmyq-0sA * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJb-czNC_ls * The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, by Gil Scott Heron. * https://genius.com/Gil-scott-heron-the-revolution-will-not-be-televised-lyrics * People that do things Microtopics: * Seeking penance from the Topic Lord. * Dual-purpose infotainment. * Getting a new job that is better for your mental health. * The People's Republic of Wal-Mart. * Maximizing human dignity. * Jennifer Government. * Works of stilted microfiction describing porn contents. * Information density and reading speed in Japanese writing. * Accidentally machine-translating the wrong field. * Organizing your porn by publisher. * The full title of Robinson Crusoe. * When movie trailers stopped giving the whole plot away as a matter of course. * Setting your most recently played game to "Health and Safety Information" before going out to collect 3DS street-passes. * Trying to get 3DS street passes on in suburbia. * Edging towards the playground to get 3DS street passes without getting close enough that people notice you edging towards the playground. * Walking backwards into the playground, staring at your 3DS. * Taking over a gym and leaving something behind. * A lady with three phones and a tablet out who you are sure is making a drug deal but it turns out she's just playing Pokemon. * Collecting all the territories in 3DS street pass. * The critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XVIV now with the free expansion up to level 60. * A problem that helps you exercise. * Wandering around Willow Glen dual wielding Ingresses. * Attacking a portal in an AR game and some guy in cargo shorts comes out of his house to politely ask you to stop. * Min-maxing your Burger King visits to become the mayor of Burger King. * Hacking the limiter on your chocolate milk tap. * Lou's superhuman beverage production. * The era of automats. * How they stored coffee in the 1950s. * Having one of each thing on your menu ready to give to potential customers immediately. * The turnaround on a queue of hamburgers. * Spaghetti and blankets at the Japanese McDonald's. * The MegaMuffin. * The Bojangles biscuit game. * Losing yourself on skag and skipping out for beer during commercials. * Nixon playing a bugle. * A revolution to get rid of the nubs. * Sliding a color TV into a stolen ambulance. * Only letting people into the revolution who can't spell Natalie Wood's name. * Dreaming about the end of television. * The BBC covering climate change by talking about how nice and sunny it is. * The guy who wanted to work at Nintendo so he got a job working at Nintendo. * Improving your tools and workflow because you're procrastinating doing actual work. * Playing Tetris on a gamepad vs. on a keyboard. * Tetris APM. * Switching joycon hands because you're accustomed to using the arrow keys with your right hand. * Making friends the wrong way in Japan. * Making things on purpose vs. making them accidentally. * Knowing how to act in a Japanese meeting. * Learning how to work towards a goal every day whether or not you feel like it. * How to tell when a game is ready to ship. * Going to the grocery store and explaining to the cashier about the cool art you make and they're like "great but you still have to pay for this food with money." Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topic Lords:

Microtopics:

  • Seeking penance from the Topic Lord.
  • Dual-purpose infotainment.
  • Getting a new job that is better for your mental health.
  • The People's Republic of Wal-Mart.
  • Maximizing human dignity.
  • Jennifer Government.
  • Works of stilted microfiction describing porn contents.
  • Information density and reading speed in Japanese writing.
  • Accidentally machine-translating the wrong field.
  • Organizing your porn by publisher.
  • The full title of Robinson Crusoe.
  • When movie trailers stopped giving the whole plot away as a matter of course.
  • Setting your most recently played game to "Health and Safety Information" before going out to collect 3DS street-passes.
  • Trying to get 3DS street passes on in suburbia.
  • Edging towards the playground to get 3DS street passes without getting close enough that people notice you edging towards the playground.
  • Walking backwards into the playground, staring at your 3DS.
  • Taking over a gym and leaving something behind.
  • A lady with three phones and a tablet out who you are sure is making a drug deal but it turns out she's just playing Pokemon.
  • Collecting all the territories in 3DS street pass.
  • The critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XVIV now with the free expansion up to level 60.
  • A problem that helps you exercise.
  • Wandering around Willow Glen dual wielding Ingresses.
  • Attacking a portal in an AR game and some guy in cargo shorts comes out of his house to politely ask you to stop.
  • Min-maxing your Burger King visits to become the mayor of Burger King.
  • Hacking the limiter on your chocolate milk tap.
  • Lou's superhuman beverage production.
  • The era of automats.
  • How they stored coffee in the 1950s.
  • Having one of each thing on your menu ready to give to potential customers immediately.
  • The turnaround on a queue of hamburgers.
  • Spaghetti and blankets at the Japanese McDonald's.
  • The MegaMuffin.
  • The Bojangles biscuit game.
  • Losing yourself on skag and skipping out for beer during commercials.
  • Nixon playing a bugle.
  • A revolution to get rid of the nubs.
  • Sliding a color TV into a stolen ambulance.
  • Only letting people into the revolution who can't spell Natalie Wood's name.
  • Dreaming about the end of television.
  • The BBC covering climate change by talking about how nice and sunny it is.
  • The guy who wanted to work at Nintendo so he got a job working at Nintendo.
  • Improving your tools and workflow because you're procrastinating doing actual work.
  • Playing Tetris on a gamepad vs. on a keyboard.
  • Tetris APM.
  • Switching joycon hands because you're accustomed to using the arrow keys with your right hand.
  • Making friends the wrong way in Japan.
  • Making things on purpose vs. making them accidentally.
  • Knowing how to act in a Japanese meeting.
  • Learning how to work towards a goal every day whether or not you feel like it.
  • How to tell when a game is ready to ship.
  • Going to the grocery store and explaining to the cashier about the cool art you make and they're like "great but you still have to pay for this food with money."

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topic Lords:

Microtopics:

  • Seeking penance from the Topic Lord.
  • Dual-purpose infotainment.
  • Getting a new job that is better for your mental health.
  • The People's Republic of Wal-Mart.
  • Maximizing human dignity.
  • Jennifer Government.
  • Works of stilted microfiction describing porn contents.
  • Information density and reading speed in Japanese writing.
  • Accidentally machine-translating the wrong field.
  • Organizing your porn by publisher.
  • The full title of Robinson Crusoe.
  • When movie trailers stopped giving the whole plot away as a matter of course.
  • Setting your most recently played game to "Health and Safety Information" before going out to collect 3DS street-passes.
  • Trying to get 3DS street passes on in suburbia.
  • Edging towards the playground to get 3DS street passes without getting close enough that people notice you edging towards the playground.
  • Walking backwards into the playground, staring at your 3DS.
  • Taking over a gym and leaving something behind.
  • A lady with three phones and a tablet out who you are sure is making a drug deal but it turns out she's just playing Pokemon.
  • Collecting all the territories in 3DS street pass.
  • The critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XVIV now with the free expansion up to level 60.
  • A problem that helps you exercise.
  • Wandering around Willow Glen dual wielding Ingresses.
  • Attacking a portal in an AR game and some guy in cargo shorts comes out of his house to politely ask you to stop.
  • Min-maxing your Burger King visits to become the mayor of Burger King.
  • Hacking the limiter on your chocolate milk tap.
  • Lou's superhuman beverage production.
  • The era of automats.
  • How they stored coffee in the 1950s.
  • Having one of each thing on your menu ready to give to potential customers immediately.
  • The turnaround on a queue of hamburgers.
  • Spaghetti and blankets at the Japanese McDonald's.
  • The MegaMuffin.
  • The Bojangles biscuit game.
  • Losing yourself on skag and skipping out for beer during commercials.
  • Nixon playing a bugle.
  • A revolution to get rid of the nubs.
  • Sliding a color TV into a stolen ambulance.
  • Only letting people into the revolution who can't spell Natalie Wood's name.
  • Dreaming about the end of television.
  • The BBC covering climate change by talking about how nice and sunny it is.
  • The guy who wanted to work at Nintendo so he got a job working at Nintendo.
  • Improving your tools and workflow because you're procrastinating doing actual work.
  • Playing Tetris on a gamepad vs. on a keyboard.
  • Tetris APM.
  • Switching joycon hands because you're accustomed to using the arrow keys with your right hand.
  • Making friends the wrong way in Japan.
  • Making things on purpose vs. making them accidentally.
  • Knowing how to act in a Japanese meeting.
  • Learning how to work towards a goal every day whether or not you feel like it.
  • How to tell when a game is ready to ship.
  • Going to the grocery store and explaining to the cashier about the cool art you make and they're like "great but you still have to pay for this food with money."

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