web02.fireside.fm Sat, 18 Apr 2026 19:02:04 -0500 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Jesse” https://topiclords.com/tags/jesse Mon, 02 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. en-us episodic The only place on the internet you can hear topics discussed! Jim Stormdancer Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. yes Jim Stormdancer jim@goombas.org 328. Darth Icky https://topiclords.com/darth-icky 4ac13ea6-cf20-4d02-8baf-539e11c4628c Mon, 02 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Jesse and Alex. We discuss 90s Gen X Internet High Weirdness, writing a podcast about video games as someone who doesn't really play video games, the mystery of BunnyROM, Junk by Richard Wilbur, this is what Saved Star Wars looks like, and cycling's hour record. 1:19:08 yes Lords: * Jesse * Alex * https://insertcredit.com/show/ * https://discord.gg/dcofficial Topics: * 90s Gen X "Internet High Weirdness" culture: SubGenius, DiLingo, Steve Jackson, the Looneys, KoL * Writing a podcast about video games every week as someone who doesn’t really play many video games anymore * The mystery of BunnyROM * https://bunnyrom.neocities.org/ * Junk by Richard Wilbur * https://media24.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads-2024/images/3/3597ddeb-e52e-4cda-a59c-c64600489fea/Al2MMuFX.png * https://github.com/jdonland/bookmarks * Autopsy, by Ross Sutherland: https://pastebin.com/raw/npCuYjLj * Disney saved Star Wars by buying it from Lucasfilm. This is what Saved Star Wars looks like. * Cycling's hour record * https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/52/Menshourrecordsprogression.svg/2560px-Menshourrecordsprogression.svg.png Microtopics: * A gold star Canadian. * Cousin show Insert Credit. * One of the world's foremost experts on DC Comics. * Filling in the gaps with bonus episodes. * The lost episode of topic lords that might one day be produced. * Spreadsheet Secrets. * Detritus and ruins of the culture that came before yours. (Gen-X.) * Whether Steve Jackson is still doing the GURPS thing. * Where did Gen-X come from, and why did it disappear? * Your personal relationship with They Might Be Giants. * The weirdos who first colonized the Internet in search of the community they weren't finding in their lives. * Nerds riding high on military funding and founding new religions with varying degrees of mockery. * British comedy crossing the ocean and losing its cultural context, so a generation of American nerds grow up with a more absurdist sense of humor than the previous generations. * Sitting at your computer running IRC in 1996, staring at the screen waiting for someone to say something. * Classical Education as a shared cultural context so rich people can understand each other's jokes. * Halfway into the 2020s, still thinking about the Roaring Twenties whenever anyone names the decade. * Everybody forgetting how to group history by decade after a twenty years of not easily being able to talk about "the 00s" and "the 10s." * Playing video games from the ages of 5 to 20 and then stopping forever. * Asking some of the most thoughtful people you know questions about video games. * The exhaustion of trying to keep video games in your life. * Artists and critics with opinions that are wildly out of step with their audience. * Video game companies that have great logos. * People who are so good at telling interesting stories about the bad video games that they're playing that they convince you to buy the game and then you're like "where's the interesting game they talked about" * Talking to the same oldbies every week. * An 18 year old kid obsessed with the Atari Jaguar wandering into the middle-aged video game club and everyone is like "sickos face yes emoji" * Trying to track down the manufacturer of Digital Princess Friend. * Mysterious ROM images that nobody knows the origin of because nobody asked. * A Tamagotchi where your little guy can be a fighter plane or Sponge Bob. * Mysteriously good Tamagotchi software floating around. * The reason M&Ms come in different colors. * An egg that your umbrella with an eye can hatch from. * Why you can't ship a container full of cheap junk to the United States any more. * Middle English style poetry. * Sheer shards of shattered tumblers. * Modern English alliterative verse. * It's cool what people do with words. * Paying so much attention to the alliteration that you miss the meaning of the poem. * All the Babu Frik Funko Pops that will still be around long after all the stars go out. * Hephaestus' Hammer, all gunked up in microplastics. * Quoting other poems in the middle of your poem. * Publishing a book of all the poems we've read on Topic Lords and then being sued for copyright infringement. * A poem that originated on Jim's fridge. * Diminishing Mandalorian Returns. * The goddamned Ewoks shit. * The Droids cartoon. * The future of Star Wars: jokes about Star Wars?? * The Day the Clown Cried of Star Wars. * The angriest you've ever been watching a movie. * The third good Star Wars movie. * Stealing good ideas from cool fiction. * One guy who got lucky a couple times and a thousand yes men enabling him for the next 40 years. * Planet Moriband. * Finally finding a guy you can call Mace Windu. * Waiting for Jar-Jar. * Sometimes you just need drivel that you like. * Buying a tangerine and noticing that it's a Star Wars-branded tangerine. * Technology improving the way we interact with wind resistance. * 1890 guy on his velocipede getting mad at all the new Space Bikes. * Instituting new rules stating that your bicycle has to look like a bicycle. * Ivory Tower Cycle Men. * Vampire Tactics. * The most prestigious world record in professional cycling. * Keeping track of the world record best dress at a fashion show. * What about Funny Cars? What's so funny about them? * Trying to break the Merckx record using Merckx's original bicycle and outfit. * Everyone tying the same world record forever. * Riding 270 miles a day for a year. * Walking to work 23 miles a day, both ways, because you love suffering and hate bicycles. * Detective Comics Comics. Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • A gold star Canadian.
  • Cousin show Insert Credit.
  • One of the world's foremost experts on DC Comics.
  • Filling in the gaps with bonus episodes.
  • The lost episode of topic lords that might one day be produced.
  • Spreadsheet Secrets.
  • Detritus and ruins of the culture that came before yours. (Gen-X.)
  • Whether Steve Jackson is still doing the GURPS thing.
  • Where did Gen-X come from, and why did it disappear?
  • Your personal relationship with They Might Be Giants.
  • The weirdos who first colonized the Internet in search of the community they weren't finding in their lives.
  • Nerds riding high on military funding and founding new religions with varying degrees of mockery.
  • British comedy crossing the ocean and losing its cultural context, so a generation of American nerds grow up with a more absurdist sense of humor than the previous generations.
  • Sitting at your computer running IRC in 1996, staring at the screen waiting for someone to say something.
  • Classical Education as a shared cultural context so rich people can understand each other's jokes.
  • Halfway into the 2020s, still thinking about the Roaring Twenties whenever anyone names the decade.
  • Everybody forgetting how to group history by decade after a twenty years of not easily being able to talk about "the 00s" and "the 10s."
  • Playing video games from the ages of 5 to 20 and then stopping forever.
  • Asking some of the most thoughtful people you know questions about video games.
  • The exhaustion of trying to keep video games in your life.
  • Artists and critics with opinions that are wildly out of step with their audience.
  • Video game companies that have great logos.
  • People who are so good at telling interesting stories about the bad video games that they're playing that they convince you to buy the game and then you're like "where's the interesting game they talked about"
  • Talking to the same oldbies every week.
  • An 18 year old kid obsessed with the Atari Jaguar wandering into the middle-aged video game club and everyone is like "sickos face yes emoji"
  • Trying to track down the manufacturer of Digital Princess Friend.
  • Mysterious ROM images that nobody knows the origin of because nobody asked.
  • A Tamagotchi where your little guy can be a fighter plane or Sponge Bob.
  • Mysteriously good Tamagotchi software floating around.
  • The reason M&Ms come in different colors.
  • An egg that your umbrella with an eye can hatch from.
  • Why you can't ship a container full of cheap junk to the United States any more.
  • Middle English style poetry.
  • Sheer shards of shattered tumblers.
  • Modern English alliterative verse.
  • It's cool what people do with words.
  • Paying so much attention to the alliteration that you miss the meaning of the poem.
  • All the Babu Frik Funko Pops that will still be around long after all the stars go out.
  • Hephaestus' Hammer, all gunked up in microplastics.
  • Quoting other poems in the middle of your poem.
  • Publishing a book of all the poems we've read on Topic Lords and then being sued for copyright infringement.
  • A poem that originated on Jim's fridge.
  • Diminishing Mandalorian Returns.
  • The goddamned Ewoks shit.
  • The Droids cartoon.
  • The future of Star Wars: jokes about Star Wars??
  • The Day the Clown Cried of Star Wars.
  • The angriest you've ever been watching a movie.
  • The third good Star Wars movie.
  • Stealing good ideas from cool fiction.
  • One guy who got lucky a couple times and a thousand yes men enabling him for the next 40 years.
  • Planet Moriband.
  • Finally finding a guy you can call Mace Windu.
  • Waiting for Jar-Jar.
  • Sometimes you just need drivel that you like.
  • Buying a tangerine and noticing that it's a Star Wars-branded tangerine.
  • Technology improving the way we interact with wind resistance.
  • 1890 guy on his velocipede getting mad at all the new Space Bikes.
  • Instituting new rules stating that your bicycle has to look like a bicycle.
  • Ivory Tower Cycle Men.
  • Vampire Tactics.
  • The most prestigious world record in professional cycling.
  • Keeping track of the world record best dress at a fashion show.
  • What about Funny Cars? What's so funny about them?
  • Trying to break the Merckx record using Merckx's original bicycle and outfit.
  • Everyone tying the same world record forever.
  • Riding 270 miles a day for a year.
  • Walking to work 23 miles a day, both ways, because you love suffering and hate bicycles.
  • Detective Comics Comics.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • A gold star Canadian.
  • Cousin show Insert Credit.
  • One of the world's foremost experts on DC Comics.
  • Filling in the gaps with bonus episodes.
  • The lost episode of topic lords that might one day be produced.
  • Spreadsheet Secrets.
  • Detritus and ruins of the culture that came before yours. (Gen-X.)
  • Whether Steve Jackson is still doing the GURPS thing.
  • Where did Gen-X come from, and why did it disappear?
  • Your personal relationship with They Might Be Giants.
  • The weirdos who first colonized the Internet in search of the community they weren't finding in their lives.
  • Nerds riding high on military funding and founding new religions with varying degrees of mockery.
  • British comedy crossing the ocean and losing its cultural context, so a generation of American nerds grow up with a more absurdist sense of humor than the previous generations.
  • Sitting at your computer running IRC in 1996, staring at the screen waiting for someone to say something.
  • Classical Education as a shared cultural context so rich people can understand each other's jokes.
  • Halfway into the 2020s, still thinking about the Roaring Twenties whenever anyone names the decade.
  • Everybody forgetting how to group history by decade after a twenty years of not easily being able to talk about "the 00s" and "the 10s."
  • Playing video games from the ages of 5 to 20 and then stopping forever.
  • Asking some of the most thoughtful people you know questions about video games.
  • The exhaustion of trying to keep video games in your life.
  • Artists and critics with opinions that are wildly out of step with their audience.
  • Video game companies that have great logos.
  • People who are so good at telling interesting stories about the bad video games that they're playing that they convince you to buy the game and then you're like "where's the interesting game they talked about"
  • Talking to the same oldbies every week.
  • An 18 year old kid obsessed with the Atari Jaguar wandering into the middle-aged video game club and everyone is like "sickos face yes emoji"
  • Trying to track down the manufacturer of Digital Princess Friend.
  • Mysterious ROM images that nobody knows the origin of because nobody asked.
  • A Tamagotchi where your little guy can be a fighter plane or Sponge Bob.
  • Mysteriously good Tamagotchi software floating around.
  • The reason M&Ms come in different colors.
  • An egg that your umbrella with an eye can hatch from.
  • Why you can't ship a container full of cheap junk to the United States any more.
  • Middle English style poetry.
  • Sheer shards of shattered tumblers.
  • Modern English alliterative verse.
  • It's cool what people do with words.
  • Paying so much attention to the alliteration that you miss the meaning of the poem.
  • All the Babu Frik Funko Pops that will still be around long after all the stars go out.
  • Hephaestus' Hammer, all gunked up in microplastics.
  • Quoting other poems in the middle of your poem.
  • Publishing a book of all the poems we've read on Topic Lords and then being sued for copyright infringement.
  • A poem that originated on Jim's fridge.
  • Diminishing Mandalorian Returns.
  • The goddamned Ewoks shit.
  • The Droids cartoon.
  • The future of Star Wars: jokes about Star Wars??
  • The Day the Clown Cried of Star Wars.
  • The angriest you've ever been watching a movie.
  • The third good Star Wars movie.
  • Stealing good ideas from cool fiction.
  • One guy who got lucky a couple times and a thousand yes men enabling him for the next 40 years.
  • Planet Moriband.
  • Finally finding a guy you can call Mace Windu.
  • Waiting for Jar-Jar.
  • Sometimes you just need drivel that you like.
  • Buying a tangerine and noticing that it's a Star Wars-branded tangerine.
  • Technology improving the way we interact with wind resistance.
  • 1890 guy on his velocipede getting mad at all the new Space Bikes.
  • Instituting new rules stating that your bicycle has to look like a bicycle.
  • Ivory Tower Cycle Men.
  • Vampire Tactics.
  • The most prestigious world record in professional cycling.
  • Keeping track of the world record best dress at a fashion show.
  • What about Funny Cars? What's so funny about them?
  • Trying to break the Merckx record using Merckx's original bicycle and outfit.
  • Everyone tying the same world record forever.
  • Riding 270 miles a day for a year.
  • Walking to work 23 miles a day, both ways, because you love suffering and hate bicycles.
  • Detective Comics Comics.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 175. This Movie Has Marky Mark in It https://topiclords.com/this-movie-has-marky-mark-in-it 391dbde0-f68c-4730-9934-a50429cfa65b Mon, 27 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Erica and Jesse. We discuss the Spanish word that can't be spelled, Disco Elysium, Clue ||: Murder in Disguise, All of the Words on a Bottle of Rolling Rock Beer in a Different Order, this year's beast of a Mystery Hunt, and shareable alarms. 1:14:16 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Erica * Jesse Topics: * There's a Spanish word which officially cannot be written because the grammar and orthography conflict about how it should spelled/pronounced. * My personal relationship with Disco Elysium * Clue II: Murder in Disguise * All of the Words on a Bottle of Rolling Rock Beer in a Different Order * https://expatriotact.blogspot.com/2006/10/poets-corner-demetri-martin.html * This year's beast of a Mystery Hunt * Shareable alarms Microtopics: * Texans with nothing to plug. * The Army Corp of Engineers coming to your town and kicking ass. * No, and no. * Fuck em, just get a laptop. * Fact checking the dinner table conversation with your laptop. * An interaction deemed normal. * The Spanish double-L sound. * Finally finding a way that spelling in English is more sensible than spelling in Spanish. * Desperately avoiding hearing French spoken incorrectly. * A place that is less like the rest of Canada than any part of the United States is like the United States. * A good relaxing podcast that leads to substantial academic progress. * Stormdancer Zero. * Secret of Monkey Island with additional D&D stat checks and communism. * Continents not connected to tectonic plates but instead freely floating in the mist. * When your stats talk to you. * Equipping a philosophical idea in your thought cabinet. * Where the resource extraction happens. * An alcoholic amnesiac video game protagonist. * Finding the richest person in town to explain to you how the world works. * Recreating all your characters from the ground up to be optimized for the game engine. * Cheating past the final boss in Baldur's Gate because the alternative is starting from scratch with a viable build. * Revising your thinking about the Gros Michel banana. * Campy goofballs doing campy goofball shit except it's not Tim Curry this time. * The guy whose name Jim can't remember who played Chuck on Better Call Saul. * The VCR board game phenomenon. * Scenes sort of adding up into a narrative if you squint. * Seeing John Lithgow when nobody else sees him. * How to get Michael Land to talk to you at CES. * Out-of-work FMV actors. * Specializing in loving horrible FMV games. * The one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism. * DVD games vs. VCR games. * A DVD arriving too late to save a drowning VCR game industry. * The pride of seeing your topic grow up and take its place in the world. * Panache, aplomb, and savoir-faire. * Rolling, glass tanks of beverages that rocked that lined mountain. * Women as the exception to implied maleness. * A folk pop album featuring a disgraced CDC employee. * 50 Cent rapping about going to prison for insider trading. * The Topic Lords Guarantee. * A series of interconnected puzzles that you solve as a team. * Flavor text explaining why it's fun to solve this math problem. * A beautiful puzzle hunt that is way too long. * Assuming that being good at solving puzzles is the same skill as constructing puzzles. * Waiting all year for a chocolate box that ends up being a marathon through Death Valley. * How to test a 100-person puzzle hunt. * Admonishing astronomers to "get good." * Puzzles that are like tiny little gifts that open up and dance in front of you. * A chip that controls a single light point on the wall. * Doing something for free vs. doing it for a pittance. * Losing your wedding ring but also your wedding ring screams once a day. * Your screaming wedding ring following you from house to house. * One o’clock: Time for Pants. * Remembering that it's time for pants no matter what time zone you're in. * The Playstation Vita's pants alarm. * Playing a competitive minigame to see who can wake up fastest. * Earning achievements for getting out of bed. * The app that is the opposite of sex. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Erica
  • Jesse

Topics:

  • There's a Spanish word which officially cannot be written because the grammar and orthography conflict about how it should spelled/pronounced.
  • My personal relationship with Disco Elysium
  • Clue II: Murder in Disguise
  • All of the Words on a Bottle of Rolling Rock Beer in a Different Order
  • This year's beast of a Mystery Hunt
  • Shareable alarms

Microtopics:

  • Texans with nothing to plug.
  • The Army Corp of Engineers coming to your town and kicking ass.
  • No, and no.
  • Fuck em, just get a laptop.
  • Fact checking the dinner table conversation with your laptop.
  • An interaction deemed normal.
  • The Spanish double-L sound.
  • Finally finding a way that spelling in English is more sensible than spelling in Spanish.
  • Desperately avoiding hearing French spoken incorrectly.
  • A place that is less like the rest of Canada than any part of the United States is like the United States.
  • A good relaxing podcast that leads to substantial academic progress.
  • Stormdancer Zero.
  • Secret of Monkey Island with additional D&D stat checks and communism.
  • Continents not connected to tectonic plates but instead freely floating in the mist.
  • When your stats talk to you.
  • Equipping a philosophical idea in your thought cabinet.
  • Where the resource extraction happens.
  • An alcoholic amnesiac video game protagonist.
  • Finding the richest person in town to explain to you how the world works.
  • Recreating all your characters from the ground up to be optimized for the game engine.
  • Cheating past the final boss in Baldur's Gate because the alternative is starting from scratch with a viable build.
  • Revising your thinking about the Gros Michel banana.
  • Campy goofballs doing campy goofball shit except it's not Tim Curry this time.
  • The guy whose name Jim can't remember who played Chuck on Better Call Saul.
  • The VCR board game phenomenon.
  • Scenes sort of adding up into a narrative if you squint.
  • Seeing John Lithgow when nobody else sees him.
  • How to get Michael Land to talk to you at CES.
  • Out-of-work FMV actors.
  • Specializing in loving horrible FMV games.
  • The one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.
  • DVD games vs. VCR games.
  • A DVD arriving too late to save a drowning VCR game industry.
  • The pride of seeing your topic grow up and take its place in the world.
  • Panache, aplomb, and savoir-faire.
  • Rolling, glass tanks of beverages that rocked that lined mountain.
  • Women as the exception to implied maleness.
  • A folk pop album featuring a disgraced CDC employee.
  • 50 Cent rapping about going to prison for insider trading.
  • The Topic Lords Guarantee.
  • A series of interconnected puzzles that you solve as a team.
  • Flavor text explaining why it's fun to solve this math problem.
  • A beautiful puzzle hunt that is way too long.
  • Assuming that being good at solving puzzles is the same skill as constructing puzzles.
  • Waiting all year for a chocolate box that ends up being a marathon through Death Valley.
  • How to test a 100-person puzzle hunt.
  • Admonishing astronomers to "get good."
  • Puzzles that are like tiny little gifts that open up and dance in front of you.
  • A chip that controls a single light point on the wall.
  • Doing something for free vs. doing it for a pittance.
  • Losing your wedding ring but also your wedding ring screams once a day.
  • Your screaming wedding ring following you from house to house.
  • One o’clock: Time for Pants.
  • Remembering that it's time for pants no matter what time zone you're in.
  • The Playstation Vita's pants alarm.
  • Playing a competitive minigame to see who can wake up fastest.
  • Earning achievements for getting out of bed.
  • The app that is the opposite of sex.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Erica
  • Jesse

Topics:

  • There's a Spanish word which officially cannot be written because the grammar and orthography conflict about how it should spelled/pronounced.
  • My personal relationship with Disco Elysium
  • Clue II: Murder in Disguise
  • All of the Words on a Bottle of Rolling Rock Beer in a Different Order
  • This year's beast of a Mystery Hunt
  • Shareable alarms

Microtopics:

  • Texans with nothing to plug.
  • The Army Corp of Engineers coming to your town and kicking ass.
  • No, and no.
  • Fuck em, just get a laptop.
  • Fact checking the dinner table conversation with your laptop.
  • An interaction deemed normal.
  • The Spanish double-L sound.
  • Finally finding a way that spelling in English is more sensible than spelling in Spanish.
  • Desperately avoiding hearing French spoken incorrectly.
  • A place that is less like the rest of Canada than any part of the United States is like the United States.
  • A good relaxing podcast that leads to substantial academic progress.
  • Stormdancer Zero.
  • Secret of Monkey Island with additional D&D stat checks and communism.
  • Continents not connected to tectonic plates but instead freely floating in the mist.
  • When your stats talk to you.
  • Equipping a philosophical idea in your thought cabinet.
  • Where the resource extraction happens.
  • An alcoholic amnesiac video game protagonist.
  • Finding the richest person in town to explain to you how the world works.
  • Recreating all your characters from the ground up to be optimized for the game engine.
  • Cheating past the final boss in Baldur's Gate because the alternative is starting from scratch with a viable build.
  • Revising your thinking about the Gros Michel banana.
  • Campy goofballs doing campy goofball shit except it's not Tim Curry this time.
  • The guy whose name Jim can't remember who played Chuck on Better Call Saul.
  • The VCR board game phenomenon.
  • Scenes sort of adding up into a narrative if you squint.
  • Seeing John Lithgow when nobody else sees him.
  • How to get Michael Land to talk to you at CES.
  • Out-of-work FMV actors.
  • Specializing in loving horrible FMV games.
  • The one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.
  • DVD games vs. VCR games.
  • A DVD arriving too late to save a drowning VCR game industry.
  • The pride of seeing your topic grow up and take its place in the world.
  • Panache, aplomb, and savoir-faire.
  • Rolling, glass tanks of beverages that rocked that lined mountain.
  • Women as the exception to implied maleness.
  • A folk pop album featuring a disgraced CDC employee.
  • 50 Cent rapping about going to prison for insider trading.
  • The Topic Lords Guarantee.
  • A series of interconnected puzzles that you solve as a team.
  • Flavor text explaining why it's fun to solve this math problem.
  • A beautiful puzzle hunt that is way too long.
  • Assuming that being good at solving puzzles is the same skill as constructing puzzles.
  • Waiting all year for a chocolate box that ends up being a marathon through Death Valley.
  • How to test a 100-person puzzle hunt.
  • Admonishing astronomers to "get good."
  • Puzzles that are like tiny little gifts that open up and dance in front of you.
  • A chip that controls a single light point on the wall.
  • Doing something for free vs. doing it for a pittance.
  • Losing your wedding ring but also your wedding ring screams once a day.
  • Your screaming wedding ring following you from house to house.
  • One o’clock: Time for Pants.
  • Remembering that it's time for pants no matter what time zone you're in.
  • The Playstation Vita's pants alarm.
  • Playing a competitive minigame to see who can wake up fastest.
  • Earning achievements for getting out of bed.
  • The app that is the opposite of sex.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 144. Vultures Who Know the Difference (Between Sugar and Aspartame) https://topiclords.com/vultures-who-know-the-difference-between-sugar-and-aspartame f6df4126-6916-450e-ac57-f123b9e2d0ed Mon, 25 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: JohnB and Jesse. We discuss Wario 64, bringing back Dogme 95, Seeking Mr. Eaten's Name again, This is Just to Say, by William Carlos Williams, outdoor pop machines, and Godzilla. 1:12:59 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * JohnB * https://twitter.com/YouOldSoAndSo * Jesse Topics: * Wario64 * We need to bring back Dogme 95 * Seeking Mr. Eaten's Name Again * https://saint-arthur.tumblr.com/ * This Is Just To Say, by William Carlos Williams * https://poets.org/poem/just-say * Whatever happened to outdoor pop machines? * https://lovepittsburghshop.com/blogs/love-pittsburgh/may-the-pop-machine-be-with-you * Godzilla Microtopics: * A Link's Awakening speedrun that may surprise you. * Lord clouds. * What's the deal with Wario 64? * Asking Webster's Dictionary to define Wario 64. * Your source for video game deals. * How Wario64 feels about Chris Pratt voicing Mario. * Geralt in the bathtub. * Wario World for the GameCube. * The hidden origins of Wario64. * Ten rules for how to make a movie. * Lars von Trier being traumatized by a dolly shot and inventing Dogme 95. * Unintentional Dogme 95 movies. * Unboxing a Criterion Collection DVD live on the show and there's just a DVD in there. * Creative freedom, the worst constraint. * A recipe for the worst movies in the fucking world. * Dogme 95 drinking game. * Making a flag in the bucket. * The Adventure 2600 continuity. * Bats that can steal things that shouldn't be able to be stolen. * A video game quest that was very difficult and obscure until someone wrote a FAQ. * The ludonarrative consonance of following your self-destructive obsession at the same time your character follows their self-destructive obsession. * Being confused about a story beat in a video game and having to seek out a lore genius on the internet. * The Random House Annotated Fallen London. * Becoming St. Gawain's Candle. * How the icebox plums poem became a meme. * Learning about poutine on social media. * Satirical poetry in the 1960s. * Things that are Ira Glass's fault. * Extreme meminess. * Wanting a god damn plum right now. * Pictures of normal people that are considered heresy. * Deliberately making your podcast guest's audio sound bad. * Continuing to read poetry even though you're terrible at it. * Asking Siri to get you a substantial raise. * Checking the change return slots on the mobile phone bank for quarters, to do your part to sustain the soda vending machine economy. * The cost of a 510 ml bottle of pop these days. * The fastest pop machine in the world. * Joking about the day we record the show when it comes out weeks later and none of the listeners have any idea what you're talking about. * Applying the sugar tax to beverages sweetened with aspartame. * The Godzilla movie with Inspector Gadget in it. * Redheaded Stepzilla. * The three Godzilla movies that are out of print in the US. (But not on archive.org) * Having to license all the Kaiju separately. * Movies that are in the public domain because they were not explicitly labeled as copyrighted. * Public Domain Day. * The personality traits of Sherlock Holmes that are and aren't copyrighted. * The Beast at 20,000 Fathoms. * Messing up a slow-motion shot by undercranking the camera rather than overcranking, but it has to go into the movie like that because it was your only take. * Making a movie where you can do as many takes as you want but they all have to go in the finished film. * Godzilla taking some much needed time off. * Invasion of Astro-Monster. * Watching the entire Godzilla series and learning why people think Avengers: Endgame is good. * A latchkey kid in 1960s Japan overcoming his bullies by imagining that Godzilla is his friend. * A dinosaur falling in love with a lighthouse. * Empathizing with the dinosaur who is completely misunderstanding the situation. * Why the English speakers in Japanese or Korean films are such bad actors. * An island protector of these native people brought to society for reasons of Capitalism. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • A Link's Awakening speedrun that may surprise you.
  • Lord clouds.
  • What's the deal with Wario 64?
  • Asking Webster's Dictionary to define Wario 64.
  • Your source for video game deals.
  • How Wario64 feels about Chris Pratt voicing Mario.
  • Geralt in the bathtub.
  • Wario World for the GameCube.
  • The hidden origins of Wario64.
  • Ten rules for how to make a movie.
  • Lars von Trier being traumatized by a dolly shot and inventing Dogme 95.
  • Unintentional Dogme 95 movies.
  • Unboxing a Criterion Collection DVD live on the show and there's just a DVD in there.
  • Creative freedom, the worst constraint.
  • A recipe for the worst movies in the fucking world.
  • Dogme 95 drinking game.
  • Making a flag in the bucket.
  • The Adventure 2600 continuity.
  • Bats that can steal things that shouldn't be able to be stolen.
  • A video game quest that was very difficult and obscure until someone wrote a FAQ.
  • The ludonarrative consonance of following your self-destructive obsession at the same time your character follows their self-destructive obsession.
  • Being confused about a story beat in a video game and having to seek out a lore genius on the internet.
  • The Random House Annotated Fallen London.
  • Becoming St. Gawain's Candle.
  • How the icebox plums poem became a meme.
  • Learning about poutine on social media.
  • Satirical poetry in the 1960s.
  • Things that are Ira Glass's fault.
  • Extreme meminess.
  • Wanting a god damn plum right now.
  • Pictures of normal people that are considered heresy.
  • Deliberately making your podcast guest's audio sound bad.
  • Continuing to read poetry even though you're terrible at it.
  • Asking Siri to get you a substantial raise.
  • Checking the change return slots on the mobile phone bank for quarters, to do your part to sustain the soda vending machine economy.
  • The cost of a 510 ml bottle of pop these days.
  • The fastest pop machine in the world.
  • Joking about the day we record the show when it comes out weeks later and none of the listeners have any idea what you're talking about.
  • Applying the sugar tax to beverages sweetened with aspartame.
  • The Godzilla movie with Inspector Gadget in it.
  • Redheaded Stepzilla.
  • The three Godzilla movies that are out of print in the US. (But not on archive.org)
  • Having to license all the Kaiju separately.
  • Movies that are in the public domain because they were not explicitly labeled as copyrighted.
  • Public Domain Day.
  • The personality traits of Sherlock Holmes that are and aren't copyrighted.
  • The Beast at 20,000 Fathoms.
  • Messing up a slow-motion shot by undercranking the camera rather than overcranking, but it has to go into the movie like that because it was your only take.
  • Making a movie where you can do as many takes as you want but they all have to go in the finished film.
  • Godzilla taking some much needed time off.
  • Invasion of Astro-Monster.
  • Watching the entire Godzilla series and learning why people think Avengers: Endgame is good.
  • A latchkey kid in 1960s Japan overcoming his bullies by imagining that Godzilla is his friend.
  • A dinosaur falling in love with a lighthouse.
  • Empathizing with the dinosaur who is completely misunderstanding the situation.
  • Why the English speakers in Japanese or Korean films are such bad actors.
  • An island protector of these native people brought to society for reasons of Capitalism.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • A Link's Awakening speedrun that may surprise you.
  • Lord clouds.
  • What's the deal with Wario 64?
  • Asking Webster's Dictionary to define Wario 64.
  • Your source for video game deals.
  • How Wario64 feels about Chris Pratt voicing Mario.
  • Geralt in the bathtub.
  • Wario World for the GameCube.
  • The hidden origins of Wario64.
  • Ten rules for how to make a movie.
  • Lars von Trier being traumatized by a dolly shot and inventing Dogme 95.
  • Unintentional Dogme 95 movies.
  • Unboxing a Criterion Collection DVD live on the show and there's just a DVD in there.
  • Creative freedom, the worst constraint.
  • A recipe for the worst movies in the fucking world.
  • Dogme 95 drinking game.
  • Making a flag in the bucket.
  • The Adventure 2600 continuity.
  • Bats that can steal things that shouldn't be able to be stolen.
  • A video game quest that was very difficult and obscure until someone wrote a FAQ.
  • The ludonarrative consonance of following your self-destructive obsession at the same time your character follows their self-destructive obsession.
  • Being confused about a story beat in a video game and having to seek out a lore genius on the internet.
  • The Random House Annotated Fallen London.
  • Becoming St. Gawain's Candle.
  • How the icebox plums poem became a meme.
  • Learning about poutine on social media.
  • Satirical poetry in the 1960s.
  • Things that are Ira Glass's fault.
  • Extreme meminess.
  • Wanting a god damn plum right now.
  • Pictures of normal people that are considered heresy.
  • Deliberately making your podcast guest's audio sound bad.
  • Continuing to read poetry even though you're terrible at it.
  • Asking Siri to get you a substantial raise.
  • Checking the change return slots on the mobile phone bank for quarters, to do your part to sustain the soda vending machine economy.
  • The cost of a 510 ml bottle of pop these days.
  • The fastest pop machine in the world.
  • Joking about the day we record the show when it comes out weeks later and none of the listeners have any idea what you're talking about.
  • Applying the sugar tax to beverages sweetened with aspartame.
  • The Godzilla movie with Inspector Gadget in it.
  • Redheaded Stepzilla.
  • The three Godzilla movies that are out of print in the US. (But not on archive.org)
  • Having to license all the Kaiju separately.
  • Movies that are in the public domain because they were not explicitly labeled as copyrighted.
  • Public Domain Day.
  • The personality traits of Sherlock Holmes that are and aren't copyrighted.
  • The Beast at 20,000 Fathoms.
  • Messing up a slow-motion shot by undercranking the camera rather than overcranking, but it has to go into the movie like that because it was your only take.
  • Making a movie where you can do as many takes as you want but they all have to go in the finished film.
  • Godzilla taking some much needed time off.
  • Invasion of Astro-Monster.
  • Watching the entire Godzilla series and learning why people think Avengers: Endgame is good.
  • A latchkey kid in 1960s Japan overcoming his bullies by imagining that Godzilla is his friend.
  • A dinosaur falling in love with a lighthouse.
  • Empathizing with the dinosaur who is completely misunderstanding the situation.
  • Why the English speakers in Japanese or Korean films are such bad actors.
  • An island protector of these native people brought to society for reasons of Capitalism.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 141. Toast in Its Original Format https://topiclords.com/toast-in-its-original-format e0135fe2-eb2d-4fb9-be68-199e610ba0d1 Mon, 04 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Avery and Jesse. We discuss Laserdisc, tracing the lineage of racehorses on Wikipedia, bread too wide to fit in toasters, "In my Dream, I am a Man," and variants of bowling, now mostly lost to history, which are like glimpses into possible worlds metaphysically close to our own. 1:06:10 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Avery * Jesse Topics: * Laserdisc * Tracing the lineage of racehorses on Wikipedia * Bread is too wide to fit in toasters * https://twitter.com/mogwai_poet/status/1335354217335148546/photo/1 * Variants of bowling, now mostly lost to history, are like glimpses into possible worlds metaphysically close to our own Microtopics: * How to sound like a douchebag if you are a programmer who lives in Oakland. * A Social Security Number that has way too many sixes in it. * A disc that is the same size as an LP but looks like a CD and has a movie on it. * Arcade games breaking whenever you transport them. * Laserdiscs rusting. * Integrating the likely degradation of the viewing medium into the piece itself. * The Matrix on Betamax. * The guy who owns all the Betamax players in your province. * The canonical paths to becoming a Laserdisc collector. * All the criteria used to curate the Criterion Collection. * The advantages and disadvantages of CAV discs over CLV. * Getting off the couch to flip the disc over halfway through the movie. * Asking your robot butler to flip the Laserdisc over. * Potoooooooo. * Seeing the name of the Wii for the first time and wondering if it's a typo for World War 2 or if it's a typo for WiFi. * Finding the They Live sunglasses and finally being able to read the Snickers ads. * The three racehorses that all thoroughbred racehorses are descended from. * Knowing more about the history of racehorses than about your own family tree, because racehorses are worth more than people. * War booty from the battle of Vienna. * The General Studbook. * Going blind in one eye from staying up for three days straight doing logarithms. * Bell Right Hooks and Cuban Menstrual Crisis. * Whether the clown face registry still exists for juggalos. * Nothing Sweet About Bees. * What happened to bread? * Your basic 4:3 bread vs. 4K ultra-wide bread. * Your favorite toaster from the 1940s. * A four slice toaster kind of day. * Making food better with science and it's going to be way better than nature because it's science. * Convincing Mr. Smeg not to put his name on the toasters his company manufactures. * What market research firm decided that podcast listeners want underwear and mattresses. * Constant angular velocity: the only way to rewind a movie. * A magnetic poetry set that includes the word "Kafkaesque." * How Kafkaesque the miscreant insects are. * Whether Jim has ever touched any other human being. * How Zoomers don't know about Graggle Simpson. * A possible scenario that is metaphysically close to our own. * How metaphysically close Canada is to the United States. * Getting up at 4pm every day and bowling. * A 3D model recreation of five-pin bowling. * The amount of data visualization competence that went into dimensions.com. * Candlepin and Duckpin bowling. * The dimensions of various famous bowlers. * Getting a parakeet and finding out how much water it displaces. * Making a flask out of a parakeet so people think you just brought your pet parakeet to work and aren't drinking on the job. * Buying a propane tank to use as a water bottle. * What's wrong with Jim's listeners? * Karate tournaments in the 80s and 90s. * Assuming Avery's identity and looking in the mirror. * To Mock A Mockingbird. * Certified Bird Mockers. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Avery
  • Jesse

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • How to sound like a douchebag if you are a programmer who lives in Oakland.
  • A Social Security Number that has way too many sixes in it.
  • A disc that is the same size as an LP but looks like a CD and has a movie on it.
  • Arcade games breaking whenever you transport them.
  • Laserdiscs rusting.
  • Integrating the likely degradation of the viewing medium into the piece itself.
  • The Matrix on Betamax.
  • The guy who owns all the Betamax players in your province.
  • The canonical paths to becoming a Laserdisc collector.
  • All the criteria used to curate the Criterion Collection.
  • The advantages and disadvantages of CAV discs over CLV.
  • Getting off the couch to flip the disc over halfway through the movie.
  • Asking your robot butler to flip the Laserdisc over.
  • Potoooooooo.
  • Seeing the name of the Wii for the first time and wondering if it's a typo for World War 2 or if it's a typo for WiFi.
  • Finding the They Live sunglasses and finally being able to read the Snickers ads.
  • The three racehorses that all thoroughbred racehorses are descended from.
  • Knowing more about the history of racehorses than about your own family tree, because racehorses are worth more than people.
  • War booty from the battle of Vienna.
  • The General Studbook.
  • Going blind in one eye from staying up for three days straight doing logarithms.
  • Bell Right Hooks and Cuban Menstrual Crisis.
  • Whether the clown face registry still exists for juggalos.
  • Nothing Sweet About Bees.
  • What happened to bread?
  • Your basic 4:3 bread vs. 4K ultra-wide bread.
  • Your favorite toaster from the 1940s.
  • A four slice toaster kind of day.
  • Making food better with science and it's going to be way better than nature because it's science.
  • Convincing Mr. Smeg not to put his name on the toasters his company manufactures.
  • What market research firm decided that podcast listeners want underwear and mattresses.
  • Constant angular velocity: the only way to rewind a movie.
  • A magnetic poetry set that includes the word "Kafkaesque."
  • How Kafkaesque the miscreant insects are.
  • Whether Jim has ever touched any other human being.
  • How Zoomers don't know about Graggle Simpson.
  • A possible scenario that is metaphysically close to our own.
  • How metaphysically close Canada is to the United States.
  • Getting up at 4pm every day and bowling.
  • A 3D model recreation of five-pin bowling.
  • The amount of data visualization competence that went into dimensions.com.
  • Candlepin and Duckpin bowling.
  • The dimensions of various famous bowlers.
  • Getting a parakeet and finding out how much water it displaces.
  • Making a flask out of a parakeet so people think you just brought your pet parakeet to work and aren't drinking on the job.
  • Buying a propane tank to use as a water bottle.
  • What's wrong with Jim's listeners?
  • Karate tournaments in the 80s and 90s.
  • Assuming Avery's identity and looking in the mirror.
  • To Mock A Mockingbird.
  • Certified Bird Mockers.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Avery
  • Jesse

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • How to sound like a douchebag if you are a programmer who lives in Oakland.
  • A Social Security Number that has way too many sixes in it.
  • A disc that is the same size as an LP but looks like a CD and has a movie on it.
  • Arcade games breaking whenever you transport them.
  • Laserdiscs rusting.
  • Integrating the likely degradation of the viewing medium into the piece itself.
  • The Matrix on Betamax.
  • The guy who owns all the Betamax players in your province.
  • The canonical paths to becoming a Laserdisc collector.
  • All the criteria used to curate the Criterion Collection.
  • The advantages and disadvantages of CAV discs over CLV.
  • Getting off the couch to flip the disc over halfway through the movie.
  • Asking your robot butler to flip the Laserdisc over.
  • Potoooooooo.
  • Seeing the name of the Wii for the first time and wondering if it's a typo for World War 2 or if it's a typo for WiFi.
  • Finding the They Live sunglasses and finally being able to read the Snickers ads.
  • The three racehorses that all thoroughbred racehorses are descended from.
  • Knowing more about the history of racehorses than about your own family tree, because racehorses are worth more than people.
  • War booty from the battle of Vienna.
  • The General Studbook.
  • Going blind in one eye from staying up for three days straight doing logarithms.
  • Bell Right Hooks and Cuban Menstrual Crisis.
  • Whether the clown face registry still exists for juggalos.
  • Nothing Sweet About Bees.
  • What happened to bread?
  • Your basic 4:3 bread vs. 4K ultra-wide bread.
  • Your favorite toaster from the 1940s.
  • A four slice toaster kind of day.
  • Making food better with science and it's going to be way better than nature because it's science.
  • Convincing Mr. Smeg not to put his name on the toasters his company manufactures.
  • What market research firm decided that podcast listeners want underwear and mattresses.
  • Constant angular velocity: the only way to rewind a movie.
  • A magnetic poetry set that includes the word "Kafkaesque."
  • How Kafkaesque the miscreant insects are.
  • Whether Jim has ever touched any other human being.
  • How Zoomers don't know about Graggle Simpson.
  • A possible scenario that is metaphysically close to our own.
  • How metaphysically close Canada is to the United States.
  • Getting up at 4pm every day and bowling.
  • A 3D model recreation of five-pin bowling.
  • The amount of data visualization competence that went into dimensions.com.
  • Candlepin and Duckpin bowling.
  • The dimensions of various famous bowlers.
  • Getting a parakeet and finding out how much water it displaces.
  • Making a flask out of a parakeet so people think you just brought your pet parakeet to work and aren't drinking on the job.
  • Buying a propane tank to use as a water bottle.
  • What's wrong with Jim's listeners?
  • Karate tournaments in the 80s and 90s.
  • Assuming Avery's identity and looking in the mirror.
  • To Mock A Mockingbird.
  • Certified Bird Mockers.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 70. The Cow Tools Experience https://topiclords.com/the-cow-tools-experience fb839d11-0f77-483f-bda8-c08c66b56d2f Mon, 22 Feb 2021 08:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: James and Jesse. We discuss where Nazi war criminals live, What's Michael?, the other cartoon fat cat, the patent for Tapper, consuming twice your body weight in a day, realizing pop cans are 355 mL because that's 12 US fluid ounces, and macaroni and cheese around the world. 57:21 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * James is on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Triplefox * Jesse is on Twitter. Topics: * One of the last "most wanted" Nazi war criminals lives in my town. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HelmutOberlander * What's Michael?, the other cartoon fat cat * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What%27sMichael%3F * There are several What's Michael anime series, one of them has a particularly amazing music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWZLz1LQRnY&t=116s * The opening of the Heathcliff Cartoon uses one of the numerous Shuki Levy 80's cartoon themes. It rhymes "jubilee" with "superiority"! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LLb8EBU9nQ * He’s Wearing The Gravy Helmet, Again : The Greatest Single Panel in Modern American Comics: https://medium.com/@videocrime/hes-wearing-the-gravy-helmet-again-the-greatest-single-panel-in-modern-american-comics-10c269ca4102 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listoffictionalcatsincomics * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Listoffictionalcatsinanimation * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CowTools * In the patent for Tapper, the developers admit that it's just Space Invaders turned on its side * https://www.kmjn.org/notes/tappervideogamepatent.html * "Upon an advancing patron such as the cowboy 54e in FIG. 2 receiving a filled mug 58b, the receiving patron will be moved or repelled back toward the door end of the bar a predetermined incremental distance. If the patron is moved to the boundary at the door image 52, the patron goes off screen for a predetermined time interval and then reenters the same bar at the door 52. However, if the repelled thirsty patron remains on screen, the patron will then be shown in a drinking pose 54f as in FIG. 3. When the patron, after a predetermined delay, finishes drinking the beverage, the empty mug 58c, is slid back toward the supply or keg end of the bar." * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IceColdBeer * Ice Cold Beer has an official digitization in "Zeke's Peak" https://store.steampowered.com/app/1093800/ZekesPeak/ * https://store.steampowered.com/app/457890/TumbleSeed/ * http://isoraqathedh.github.io/Orsaibts/anticharacterism.html * Shogun Assassin (1980) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081506/ * Brad asks "Hummingbirds have to consume twice their body weight in a day to survive. If you had to do this, what would your strategy be?" * Realizing pop cans are 355 mL because that's 12 US fluid ounces. * The ounce is a unit of mass and the dry ounce of volume, but the pint and the dry pint are both units of volume. * https://www.ic.gc.ca/eic/site/mc-mc.nsf/eng/hlm00007.html * Soda vs Pop vs. Coke: Who Says What, And Where? https://www.huffpost.com/entry/soda-vs-popn2103764 * Plastic Recycling is an Actual Scam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJnJ8mK3Q3g * How China Broke the World's Recycling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXRtNwUju5g * Is macaroni and cheese known outside of America? Or, if you were opening a restaurant in a foreign country, what cuisine would it be? * How Thai food took over America https://www.splendidtable.org/story/2019/01/10/how-thai-food-took-over-america * What Color Is a Tennis Ball? https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/02/what-color-tennis-ball-green-yellow/523521/ * https://www.pizzapizza.ca/catalog/config/dipping-sauce-product1919/store/1/delivery * Wikipedia lists these other related dishes: * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonara * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chilimac * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filipinospaghetti * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%A4sesp%C3%A4tzle Microtopics: * An oddly temperate day in the park in the middle of January. * Not necessarily recognizing the war criminal who lives in your town. * Checking the box that says "I did not do the Holocaust" on the immigration form. * How it takes 50 years to deport a Nazi from Canada. * Berlin, Canada. * Getting a steak and a beer with the 110 year old who works with you at the grocery store. * Where you go if you're really young and you want to become a war criminal. * A thing that is strange but also very ordinary. * Explaining Garfield. * Heathcliff, the other other fat orange cartoon cat. * Explaining cow tools. * Tools that don't really look like anything but it's the best a cow can do. * What it means when Heathcliff wears the gravy helmet. * When an ancient comic strip gets funny again because the original artist finally retired and got replaced by a Tumblr user. * Stealing all the fish from the fish counter and the vendor can't do anything about it because you're wearing a helmet that says "fish." * Scrolling a web page and discovering how many helmets Heathcliff has. * Managing the flow of mugs in this Space Invaders clone. * The best electromechanical bar game that triggers your trypophobia. * A story-heavy RPG adaptation of an electromechanical bar game. * Playing a story heavy game and wishing the story and the game parts were separable. * How magical girl shows and JRPGs both presentationally separate story from combat. * Taking the fight scenes from a robot combat show and writing new scenes where the robots are going to high school. * Learning to fly in place. * Becoming a hummingbird and learning to do what hummingbirds do. * Consuming the densest possible foods such as lead. * Assuming that iron is the densest element because it's at the Earth's core and must have sunk there. * Searching for densest foods and Google gives you the most nutrient dense foods, which is definitively not what you asked for. * Arctic explorers bringing sleds full of frozen butter to eat. * Eating your weight in salt every day. * Whether 1 milliliter of water weighs exactly one gram everywhere, or just in that locked vault in Paris. * The Canadian hotline you can call to report bars that serve you an American pint of beer. * The metric pint. * Ounces per ounce. * Writing to Stephen Wolfram to complain about the dry ounce. * That double gotcha bar trivia question about whether an ounce of feathers is lighter than an ounce of gold. * Europeans getting confused when Americans talk about calories when they mean kilocalories. * Using more significant digits than the speaker intended when doing unit conversion. * Whether someone saying "a thousand" to mean "a lot" is one significant digit or zero. * Whether in the Bible "forty" is used colloquially to mean "a lot." * Taking a dialect quiz that tries to guess where you're from but it doesn't know about Canada so it guesses you're from the American Midwest. * Whether recycling is still a thing or in fact ever was. * Keeping people employed at a factory sorting plastic for no particular reason. * Pasta and cheese being popular all over the world. * How Canadians have Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner all the time. * The biscuit you eat! * How Pad Thai is a psyop. * Putting fish in a bucket and waiting until it becomes fish sauce. * Fear of discovering the fish flavor in fish sauce and ruining Thai food forever. * Putting fish sauce on pizza yourself because Domino's doesn't offer it as a topping. * Opening a Taco Bell in Mexico. * Asking not for whom the Baja Blasts. * A can of cream of mushroom soup inside of a Shepherd's Pie. * Another salty MSG flavored brown liquid. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • An oddly temperate day in the park in the middle of January.
  • Not necessarily recognizing the war criminal who lives in your town.
  • Checking the box that says "I did not do the Holocaust" on the immigration form.
  • How it takes 50 years to deport a Nazi from Canada.
  • Berlin, Canada.
  • Getting a steak and a beer with the 110 year old who works with you at the grocery store.
  • Where you go if you're really young and you want to become a war criminal.
  • A thing that is strange but also very ordinary.
  • Explaining Garfield.
  • Heathcliff, the other other fat orange cartoon cat.
  • Explaining cow tools.
  • Tools that don't really look like anything but it's the best a cow can do.
  • What it means when Heathcliff wears the gravy helmet.
  • When an ancient comic strip gets funny again because the original artist finally retired and got replaced by a Tumblr user.
  • Stealing all the fish from the fish counter and the vendor can't do anything about it because you're wearing a helmet that says "fish."
  • Scrolling a web page and discovering how many helmets Heathcliff has.
  • Managing the flow of mugs in this Space Invaders clone.
  • The best electromechanical bar game that triggers your trypophobia.
  • A story-heavy RPG adaptation of an electromechanical bar game.
  • Playing a story heavy game and wishing the story and the game parts were separable.
  • How magical girl shows and JRPGs both presentationally separate story from combat.
  • Taking the fight scenes from a robot combat show and writing new scenes where the robots are going to high school.
  • Learning to fly in place.
  • Becoming a hummingbird and learning to do what hummingbirds do.
  • Consuming the densest possible foods such as lead.
  • Assuming that iron is the densest element because it's at the Earth's core and must have sunk there.
  • Searching for densest foods and Google gives you the most nutrient dense foods, which is definitively not what you asked for.
  • Arctic explorers bringing sleds full of frozen butter to eat.
  • Eating your weight in salt every day.
  • Whether 1 milliliter of water weighs exactly one gram everywhere, or just in that locked vault in Paris.
  • The Canadian hotline you can call to report bars that serve you an American pint of beer.
  • The metric pint.
  • Ounces per ounce.
  • Writing to Stephen Wolfram to complain about the dry ounce.
  • That double gotcha bar trivia question about whether an ounce of feathers is lighter than an ounce of gold.
  • Europeans getting confused when Americans talk about calories when they mean kilocalories.
  • Using more significant digits than the speaker intended when doing unit conversion.
  • Whether someone saying "a thousand" to mean "a lot" is one significant digit or zero.
  • Whether in the Bible "forty" is used colloquially to mean "a lot."
  • Taking a dialect quiz that tries to guess where you're from but it doesn't know about Canada so it guesses you're from the American Midwest.
  • Whether recycling is still a thing or in fact ever was.
  • Keeping people employed at a factory sorting plastic for no particular reason.
  • Pasta and cheese being popular all over the world.
  • How Canadians have Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner all the time.
  • The biscuit you eat!
  • How Pad Thai is a psyop.
  • Putting fish in a bucket and waiting until it becomes fish sauce.
  • Fear of discovering the fish flavor in fish sauce and ruining Thai food forever.
  • Putting fish sauce on pizza yourself because Domino's doesn't offer it as a topping.
  • Opening a Taco Bell in Mexico.
  • Asking not for whom the Baja Blasts.
  • A can of cream of mushroom soup inside of a Shepherd's Pie.
  • Another salty MSG flavored brown liquid.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • An oddly temperate day in the park in the middle of January.
  • Not necessarily recognizing the war criminal who lives in your town.
  • Checking the box that says "I did not do the Holocaust" on the immigration form.
  • How it takes 50 years to deport a Nazi from Canada.
  • Berlin, Canada.
  • Getting a steak and a beer with the 110 year old who works with you at the grocery store.
  • Where you go if you're really young and you want to become a war criminal.
  • A thing that is strange but also very ordinary.
  • Explaining Garfield.
  • Heathcliff, the other other fat orange cartoon cat.
  • Explaining cow tools.
  • Tools that don't really look like anything but it's the best a cow can do.
  • What it means when Heathcliff wears the gravy helmet.
  • When an ancient comic strip gets funny again because the original artist finally retired and got replaced by a Tumblr user.
  • Stealing all the fish from the fish counter and the vendor can't do anything about it because you're wearing a helmet that says "fish."
  • Scrolling a web page and discovering how many helmets Heathcliff has.
  • Managing the flow of mugs in this Space Invaders clone.
  • The best electromechanical bar game that triggers your trypophobia.
  • A story-heavy RPG adaptation of an electromechanical bar game.
  • Playing a story heavy game and wishing the story and the game parts were separable.
  • How magical girl shows and JRPGs both presentationally separate story from combat.
  • Taking the fight scenes from a robot combat show and writing new scenes where the robots are going to high school.
  • Learning to fly in place.
  • Becoming a hummingbird and learning to do what hummingbirds do.
  • Consuming the densest possible foods such as lead.
  • Assuming that iron is the densest element because it's at the Earth's core and must have sunk there.
  • Searching for densest foods and Google gives you the most nutrient dense foods, which is definitively not what you asked for.
  • Arctic explorers bringing sleds full of frozen butter to eat.
  • Eating your weight in salt every day.
  • Whether 1 milliliter of water weighs exactly one gram everywhere, or just in that locked vault in Paris.
  • The Canadian hotline you can call to report bars that serve you an American pint of beer.
  • The metric pint.
  • Ounces per ounce.
  • Writing to Stephen Wolfram to complain about the dry ounce.
  • That double gotcha bar trivia question about whether an ounce of feathers is lighter than an ounce of gold.
  • Europeans getting confused when Americans talk about calories when they mean kilocalories.
  • Using more significant digits than the speaker intended when doing unit conversion.
  • Whether someone saying "a thousand" to mean "a lot" is one significant digit or zero.
  • Whether in the Bible "forty" is used colloquially to mean "a lot."
  • Taking a dialect quiz that tries to guess where you're from but it doesn't know about Canada so it guesses you're from the American Midwest.
  • Whether recycling is still a thing or in fact ever was.
  • Keeping people employed at a factory sorting plastic for no particular reason.
  • Pasta and cheese being popular all over the world.
  • How Canadians have Kraft macaroni and cheese for dinner all the time.
  • The biscuit you eat!
  • How Pad Thai is a psyop.
  • Putting fish in a bucket and waiting until it becomes fish sauce.
  • Fear of discovering the fish flavor in fish sauce and ruining Thai food forever.
  • Putting fish sauce on pizza yourself because Domino's doesn't offer it as a topping.
  • Opening a Taco Bell in Mexico.
  • Asking not for whom the Baja Blasts.
  • A can of cream of mushroom soup inside of a Shepherd's Pie.
  • Another salty MSG flavored brown liquid.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 40. I'll Show Them... I'll Invent Superman! https://topiclords.com/ill-show-them-ill-invent-superman 83062bf2-17f4-4aa4-99ca-7f2d01273643 Mon, 27 Jul 2020 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: John and Jesse. We discuss Canadian Heritage Minutes, working with people of a different skill level, 3D games being ugly, losing your old web sites, and the lost Willie Brown records. 1:11:27 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * John * Biker Chicks Tier List. https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1591151119 * Jesse * https://twitter.com/thefringthing Topics: * Canadian Heritage Minutes * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadarm * YouTube playlist of Heritage Minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCWANopglXI&list=PL1848FF9428CA9A4A * List of Heritage Minutes on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritage_Minutes * What are your tips for collaborating with people with a higher or lower skill level than you? * Are we allowed to talk yet about how for decades all 3D games were incredibly ugly * https://twitter.com/BlazeHedgehog/status/1247200134057717760 * The website I build in high school & college is lost to the ages, or: how to reconstruct memories of your past without external records * The lost Willie Brown records * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shellac * Willie Brown - Future Blues: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An9rC8olaVY * "Grandma Blues" cover (prank?): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F9xhKLJbXs * PBS History Detectives episode about Paramount Records: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKQbZV4lQk4 Microtopics: * Being a playable character in Frog Fractions 2. * Ranking every Biker Chick from worst to best. * Regretting not having more Canadian Lords on the show. * Still making your TV PSAs even though nobody watches TV any more. * The big robotic articulating arm on the space shuttles. * That time Quebec was going to quit Canada. * A group shot with one teen of every ethnicity and gender configuration. * Reenacting the time someone told the creator of Superman that nobody will care about Superman. * Canada's revolting safety PSAs. * Hanging maple syrup for treason. * The biggest man-made explosion prior to the invention of nuclear weapons. * Celebrating the people who people who became successful after leaving your country. * Trading on the low-key anti-Americanism that is part of the Canadian national identity. * Taking a 45 minute break to worship the military. * Deciding that an idea is important and jamming it into the brain of millions of people. * Doing your best to enjoy yourself even though you are the worst musician at this particular jam session. * The high pressure world of game jamming. * The anxiety of waiting to be picked for a sports team. * Trusting your collaborators. * Not being a mentor so much as a friend who is around to answer questions. * Feeling like you failed your tutoring student but he was pleased and passed his course, so probably it was fine. * The ongoing war between R programmers and Python programmers. * Making your favorite programming language tolerable by totally replacing the syntax. * The smoke effect in Super Mario 64 looking like the MS Paint graffiti tool. * Goldeneye slappy hands. * The difficulty of going back to the video games of the Ugly Period. * Playing old video games on an unreasonably large CRT TV that you can't move by yourself. * Using modern technology to remove the texture filtering from Nintendo 64 games. * Conditioning gamers to desire the next step in graphical realism. * An epic story with three CDs full of cutscenes. * The old movie connoisseurs who want to see only the best examples of terrible stilted 1940s acting. * Making a video game in the mid 00s and having to support both SD and HD aspect ratios. * Moving your web site from Geocities to a cooler hosting provider in France who then stops hosting web sites because of a change in French law. * A gap in your personal history where no written records exist because they were on the early internet. * Letting a web site expire because you built it on old technology that your hosting provider now charges extra to support. * A government form asking you to remember every place you've lived for the past fifteen years. * The threshold for memory sticking. * What we would do with our missing histories if we had them. * Allowing yourself to remember a period in your life and then putting it in deep storage. * The object as a record of a moment. * Dredging the river near the defunct Paramount Records factory in Wisconsin, in hopes of finding pre-war blues records. * Old blues music now being exclusively the province of rich white boomers. * Writing and recording a fake Willie Brown song to prank record collectors. * Recording blues albums so you can sell phonograph cabinets to Black folks who can finally afford nice things. * Your record company being unable to obtain shellac during World War 2, so you go back to making chairs. * Training a neural network on old blues records to recreate a song using the single shard of the shattered shellac record you found. * Finding shards of different shattered shellac records that happen to fit together, and mashing them up. * Digitizing LPs by putting them on a flatbed scanner. * That time a news broadcast showed the QR code of someone's Bitcoin wallet on screen and someone immediately emptied it. * Cutting a new key based on a photograph of someone's key ring, when it's way easier to just break a window. * Recovering ancient room ambience by analyzing the striation on ancient pottery. * Breaking a code by beating the decryption key out of somebody and not having to read any cryptanalysis white papers. * Putting fake information about yourself on Spokeo as part of your personal ARG. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Being a playable character in Frog Fractions 2.
  • Ranking every Biker Chick from worst to best.
  • Regretting not having more Canadian Lords on the show.
  • Still making your TV PSAs even though nobody watches TV any more.
  • The big robotic articulating arm on the space shuttles.
  • That time Quebec was going to quit Canada.
  • A group shot with one teen of every ethnicity and gender configuration.
  • Reenacting the time someone told the creator of Superman that nobody will care about Superman.
  • Canada's revolting safety PSAs.
  • Hanging maple syrup for treason.
  • The biggest man-made explosion prior to the invention of nuclear weapons.
  • Celebrating the people who people who became successful after leaving your country.
  • Trading on the low-key anti-Americanism that is part of the Canadian national identity.
  • Taking a 45 minute break to worship the military.
  • Deciding that an idea is important and jamming it into the brain of millions of people.
  • Doing your best to enjoy yourself even though you are the worst musician at this particular jam session.
  • The high pressure world of game jamming.
  • The anxiety of waiting to be picked for a sports team.
  • Trusting your collaborators.
  • Not being a mentor so much as a friend who is around to answer questions.
  • Feeling like you failed your tutoring student but he was pleased and passed his course, so probably it was fine.
  • The ongoing war between R programmers and Python programmers.
  • Making your favorite programming language tolerable by totally replacing the syntax.
  • The smoke effect in Super Mario 64 looking like the MS Paint graffiti tool.
  • Goldeneye slappy hands.
  • The difficulty of going back to the video games of the Ugly Period.
  • Playing old video games on an unreasonably large CRT TV that you can't move by yourself.
  • Using modern technology to remove the texture filtering from Nintendo 64 games.
  • Conditioning gamers to desire the next step in graphical realism.
  • An epic story with three CDs full of cutscenes.
  • The old movie connoisseurs who want to see only the best examples of terrible stilted 1940s acting.
  • Making a video game in the mid 00s and having to support both SD and HD aspect ratios.
  • Moving your web site from Geocities to a cooler hosting provider in France who then stops hosting web sites because of a change in French law.
  • A gap in your personal history where no written records exist because they were on the early internet.
  • Letting a web site expire because you built it on old technology that your hosting provider now charges extra to support.
  • A government form asking you to remember every place you've lived for the past fifteen years.
  • The threshold for memory sticking.
  • What we would do with our missing histories if we had them.
  • Allowing yourself to remember a period in your life and then putting it in deep storage.
  • The object as a record of a moment.
  • Dredging the river near the defunct Paramount Records factory in Wisconsin, in hopes of finding pre-war blues records.
  • Old blues music now being exclusively the province of rich white boomers.
  • Writing and recording a fake Willie Brown song to prank record collectors.
  • Recording blues albums so you can sell phonograph cabinets to Black folks who can finally afford nice things.
  • Your record company being unable to obtain shellac during World War 2, so you go back to making chairs.
  • Training a neural network on old blues records to recreate a song using the single shard of the shattered shellac record you found.
  • Finding shards of different shattered shellac records that happen to fit together, and mashing them up.
  • Digitizing LPs by putting them on a flatbed scanner.
  • That time a news broadcast showed the QR code of someone's Bitcoin wallet on screen and someone immediately emptied it.
  • Cutting a new key based on a photograph of someone's key ring, when it's way easier to just break a window.
  • Recovering ancient room ambience by analyzing the striation on ancient pottery.
  • Breaking a code by beating the decryption key out of somebody and not having to read any cryptanalysis white papers.
  • Putting fake information about yourself on Spokeo as part of your personal ARG.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Being a playable character in Frog Fractions 2.
  • Ranking every Biker Chick from worst to best.
  • Regretting not having more Canadian Lords on the show.
  • Still making your TV PSAs even though nobody watches TV any more.
  • The big robotic articulating arm on the space shuttles.
  • That time Quebec was going to quit Canada.
  • A group shot with one teen of every ethnicity and gender configuration.
  • Reenacting the time someone told the creator of Superman that nobody will care about Superman.
  • Canada's revolting safety PSAs.
  • Hanging maple syrup for treason.
  • The biggest man-made explosion prior to the invention of nuclear weapons.
  • Celebrating the people who people who became successful after leaving your country.
  • Trading on the low-key anti-Americanism that is part of the Canadian national identity.
  • Taking a 45 minute break to worship the military.
  • Deciding that an idea is important and jamming it into the brain of millions of people.
  • Doing your best to enjoy yourself even though you are the worst musician at this particular jam session.
  • The high pressure world of game jamming.
  • The anxiety of waiting to be picked for a sports team.
  • Trusting your collaborators.
  • Not being a mentor so much as a friend who is around to answer questions.
  • Feeling like you failed your tutoring student but he was pleased and passed his course, so probably it was fine.
  • The ongoing war between R programmers and Python programmers.
  • Making your favorite programming language tolerable by totally replacing the syntax.
  • The smoke effect in Super Mario 64 looking like the MS Paint graffiti tool.
  • Goldeneye slappy hands.
  • The difficulty of going back to the video games of the Ugly Period.
  • Playing old video games on an unreasonably large CRT TV that you can't move by yourself.
  • Using modern technology to remove the texture filtering from Nintendo 64 games.
  • Conditioning gamers to desire the next step in graphical realism.
  • An epic story with three CDs full of cutscenes.
  • The old movie connoisseurs who want to see only the best examples of terrible stilted 1940s acting.
  • Making a video game in the mid 00s and having to support both SD and HD aspect ratios.
  • Moving your web site from Geocities to a cooler hosting provider in France who then stops hosting web sites because of a change in French law.
  • A gap in your personal history where no written records exist because they were on the early internet.
  • Letting a web site expire because you built it on old technology that your hosting provider now charges extra to support.
  • A government form asking you to remember every place you've lived for the past fifteen years.
  • The threshold for memory sticking.
  • What we would do with our missing histories if we had them.
  • Allowing yourself to remember a period in your life and then putting it in deep storage.
  • The object as a record of a moment.
  • Dredging the river near the defunct Paramount Records factory in Wisconsin, in hopes of finding pre-war blues records.
  • Old blues music now being exclusively the province of rich white boomers.
  • Writing and recording a fake Willie Brown song to prank record collectors.
  • Recording blues albums so you can sell phonograph cabinets to Black folks who can finally afford nice things.
  • Your record company being unable to obtain shellac during World War 2, so you go back to making chairs.
  • Training a neural network on old blues records to recreate a song using the single shard of the shattered shellac record you found.
  • Finding shards of different shattered shellac records that happen to fit together, and mashing them up.
  • Digitizing LPs by putting them on a flatbed scanner.
  • That time a news broadcast showed the QR code of someone's Bitcoin wallet on screen and someone immediately emptied it.
  • Cutting a new key based on a photograph of someone's key ring, when it's way easier to just break a window.
  • Recovering ancient room ambience by analyzing the striation on ancient pottery.
  • Breaking a code by beating the decryption key out of somebody and not having to read any cryptanalysis white papers.
  • Putting fake information about yourself on Spokeo as part of your personal ARG.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 27. The Great Mongolian Potato Sack Yak Race https://topiclords.com/the-great-mongolian-potato-sack-yak-race 5d799c45-4961-4ec1-8c15-2b40c939644d Mon, 27 Apr 2020 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: Jesse and Avery. We discuss unsolved math problems, Mr. Potatohead's accomplishments, managing a tedious job, auto-antonyms, humans driving the evolution of cuter and cuter birds, and the "Please Call Stella" accent database. 1:03:11 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Jesse is @thefringthing on Twitter. * Avery has a Facebook somewhere and if you find it you can ask him whether he's playing any live shows. Topics: * 2:03 Math problems that are easy to explain but unsolved or unsolvable. * https://www2.stetson.edu/~efriedma/squinsqu/ * 13:28 The list of Mr. Potato Head's accomplishments on his Wikipedia page makes him sound like a real person who was perhaps an ambassador. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr.PotatoHead * https://www.ashrita.com/about/ * 23:36 Hypothesis: a steadily tedious job becomes bearable when you procrastinate and then do it in short, frenetic bursts * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fishladder * Salmon cannon. https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/animals/a28678200/fish-tube-video/ * 35:25 Kaz asks: your conversation about language changing to people's misunderstandings reminded me of how "pitted" olives have no pits in them, and how "inflammable" is confusing, so "flammable" was coined. * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto-antonym * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skunkedterm * 44:33 Theory: humans are unconsciously driving the evolution of some kinds of small birds toward cuter features and behaviors. * Samurai-lookin' crab. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heikegani * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BattleofDan-no-ura * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepperedmothevolution * 48:10 The "Please Call Stella" accent database * http://accent.gmu.edu/browselanguage.php?function=detail&speakerid=145 * WMAC Masters. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqJSKeBKCM0 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XFL(2020) and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XFL_(2001) * Slam Ball TOP PLAYS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PPuV7jK33k Microtopics: * Writing a song and realizing that you just wrote Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies by mistake. * Not the coolest thing to accidentally be ripping off. * Rapidly shutting down the entire idea of introducing yourself. * Continuing to talk about about how mysterious Jesse is. * The question of whether a problem that has been proven unsolvable is as solved as it can be. * Asking two people to simultaneously explain Goldbach's Conjecture. * Four followed by more zeroes that would be in a trillion. * Determine whether the RDA of Iron is a multiple of two primes while choosing a can of soup. * Hitting the last prime number and running out. * Paul Erdos' advice for dealing with aliens who request Diagonal Ramsey Numbers. * Avery's favorite math proof. * Explaining to your bosses that your current task is technically uncomputable. * Not being able to elaborate on packing arc segments because biotech analysts might have you killed. * Yelling excitedly about graph isomorphism at the gym and tripping the Lunk Alarm. * Disappointment that Mr. Potato Head doesn't have an honorary doctorate. * Mr. Potato Head's presidential physical fitness award. * Potato cannibalism. * Most Votes For Mr. Potato Head In A Political Campaign. * Everyone who has finished Super Mario Bros. 2 in front of a Twin Galaxies representative. * A strange man lurking behind you while you play Mario, writing down your score. * The guy 120 Guinness World Records, or 119 if you don't count the "Most Guinness Records Held At Once" record. * Potato sack racing a yak across the Mongolian desert. * Most Yaks Raced Through The Mongolian Desert. (1) * The near worldwide tie of Most Guinness Records Not Held At Once. * Walking using shovels as stilts. * Most balloons inflated to inches in one hour. (671) * Slicing potatoes while hopping on a shovel. * Inheriting two shovels from your uncle's estate and trying to figure out what world records you can set using them. * Longest distance continuously somersaulting. (12 miles) * Whether cartwheeling for 12 miles is more strenuous than somersaulting for 12 miles. * Jumping on a pogo stick until your O2 tank is depleted. * Sleeping holding a brick. * Most Injuries Not Incurred Trying To Break World Records. * Trying to remember Fish Ladders but being derailed by the Fish Cannon. * Taking a break from counting fish. * Not performing any medicine for 10 hours and then in the next hour frantically performing 10x as much medicine as you normally would. * Buying a short-range electric car to teach yourself to plan better. * Being really confused by the turtle appearing on your dashboard and then the car turning off. * A dashboard light that's like the no smoking sign except instead of a cigarette it's a picture of your car. * Sneaking onto a billionaire's estate to furtively charge your Nissan Leaf. * Looking at security cam footage and seeing that you gave electricity to Doctor Who in a time of need. * The incredible variety of charge ports on a Nissan Leaf. * Having trophies ready to distribute as soon as you're allowed to leave the house. * Ordering yourself a "best attitude" trophy. * The gradient of a trophy's meaninglessness. * Ordering a bunch of trophies from Crown Awards and subsequently every ad you see being for Crown Awards. * Delving too deep into what a trophy is until it loses all meaning. * Realizing you could've ordered trophies better and throwing your existing trophies in the trash. * Passions being both flammable and inflammable. * Words that have changed meanings because of persistent misunderstandings. * Having a story about corn husks. * Holding a corn husk in the grocery store and saying "Ah! Corn husks!" * Explaining to schoolchildren that they used corn husks to wipe before toilet paper was invented but the children don't know what husks are so they assume you mean corn cobs. * Not eating the crabs that look like your forefathers. * Paying more attention to cats who cry at the same frequency as human babies. * Not eating the moths that look more like the soot-covered trees they're hiding on. * Sphinx Of Black Quartz, Judge My Vow except for the IPA. * Comparing accents visually. * Inventing new accents to compensate for accents merging into each other. * Having a particularly grating way of speaking and blaming it on being from San Francisco. * Your dead relative not listening to this podcast. * Whether or not Dragon's Lair is a pun. * Yelling like a soda jerk when the order is ready and nobody coming to pick it up because they can't understand what you're saying. * The British TV show that Sanford & Son was based on. * Memorizing your favorite carnival barker pitch and reciting it unprompted at family gatherings. * Field recordings of carnival barkers from the 1950s. * Pro Wrestling somehow retaining its weird 19th-century carny-speak for over a century. * Channeling the dark energy from your urn while you fight Hulk Hogan. * WMAC Masters, the martial arts tournament series with health bars on the screen. * If Undertaker and Hulk Hogan were trucks. * Hockey except you play it with a basketball and there are trampolines on the floor. * Taking basketball and making it extreme. * Sitting around until one of you thinks of a way to end the show. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Jesse is @thefringthing on Twitter.
  • Avery has a Facebook somewhere and if you find it you can ask him whether he's playing any live shows.

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Writing a song and realizing that you just wrote Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies by mistake.
  • Not the coolest thing to accidentally be ripping off.
  • Rapidly shutting down the entire idea of introducing yourself.
  • Continuing to talk about about how mysterious Jesse is.
  • The question of whether a problem that has been proven unsolvable is as solved as it can be.
  • Asking two people to simultaneously explain Goldbach's Conjecture.
  • Four followed by more zeroes that would be in a trillion.
  • Determine whether the RDA of Iron is a multiple of two primes while choosing a can of soup.
  • Hitting the last prime number and running out.
  • Paul Erdos' advice for dealing with aliens who request Diagonal Ramsey Numbers.
  • Avery's favorite math proof.
  • Explaining to your bosses that your current task is technically uncomputable.
  • Not being able to elaborate on packing arc segments because biotech analysts might have you killed.
  • Yelling excitedly about graph isomorphism at the gym and tripping the Lunk Alarm.
  • Disappointment that Mr. Potato Head doesn't have an honorary doctorate.
  • Mr. Potato Head's presidential physical fitness award.
  • Potato cannibalism.
  • Most Votes For Mr. Potato Head In A Political Campaign.
  • Everyone who has finished Super Mario Bros. 2 in front of a Twin Galaxies representative.
  • A strange man lurking behind you while you play Mario, writing down your score.
  • The guy 120 Guinness World Records, or 119 if you don't count the "Most Guinness Records Held At Once" record.
  • Potato sack racing a yak across the Mongolian desert.
  • Most Yaks Raced Through The Mongolian Desert. (1)
  • The near worldwide tie of Most Guinness Records Not Held At Once.
  • Walking using shovels as stilts.
  • Most balloons inflated to inches in one hour. (671)
  • Slicing potatoes while hopping on a shovel.
  • Inheriting two shovels from your uncle's estate and trying to figure out what world records you can set using them.
  • Longest distance continuously somersaulting. (12 miles)
  • Whether cartwheeling for 12 miles is more strenuous than somersaulting for 12 miles.
  • Jumping on a pogo stick until your O2 tank is depleted.
  • Sleeping holding a brick.
  • Most Injuries Not Incurred Trying To Break World Records.
  • Trying to remember Fish Ladders but being derailed by the Fish Cannon.
  • Taking a break from counting fish.
  • Not performing any medicine for 10 hours and then in the next hour frantically performing 10x as much medicine as you normally would.
  • Buying a short-range electric car to teach yourself to plan better.
  • Being really confused by the turtle appearing on your dashboard and then the car turning off.
  • A dashboard light that's like the no smoking sign except instead of a cigarette it's a picture of your car.
  • Sneaking onto a billionaire's estate to furtively charge your Nissan Leaf.
  • Looking at security cam footage and seeing that you gave electricity to Doctor Who in a time of need.
  • The incredible variety of charge ports on a Nissan Leaf.
  • Having trophies ready to distribute as soon as you're allowed to leave the house.
  • Ordering yourself a "best attitude" trophy.
  • The gradient of a trophy's meaninglessness.
  • Ordering a bunch of trophies from Crown Awards and subsequently every ad you see being for Crown Awards.
  • Delving too deep into what a trophy is until it loses all meaning.
  • Realizing you could've ordered trophies better and throwing your existing trophies in the trash.
  • Passions being both flammable and inflammable.
  • Words that have changed meanings because of persistent misunderstandings.
  • Having a story about corn husks.
  • Holding a corn husk in the grocery store and saying "Ah! Corn husks!"
  • Explaining to schoolchildren that they used corn husks to wipe before toilet paper was invented but the children don't know what husks are so they assume you mean corn cobs.
  • Not eating the crabs that look like your forefathers.
  • Paying more attention to cats who cry at the same frequency as human babies.
  • Not eating the moths that look more like the soot-covered trees they're hiding on.
  • Sphinx Of Black Quartz, Judge My Vow except for the IPA.
  • Comparing accents visually.
  • Inventing new accents to compensate for accents merging into each other.
  • Having a particularly grating way of speaking and blaming it on being from San Francisco.
  • Your dead relative not listening to this podcast.
  • Whether or not Dragon's Lair is a pun.
  • Yelling like a soda jerk when the order is ready and nobody coming to pick it up because they can't understand what you're saying.
  • The British TV show that Sanford & Son was based on.
  • Memorizing your favorite carnival barker pitch and reciting it unprompted at family gatherings.
  • Field recordings of carnival barkers from the 1950s.
  • Pro Wrestling somehow retaining its weird 19th-century carny-speak for over a century.
  • Channeling the dark energy from your urn while you fight Hulk Hogan.
  • WMAC Masters, the martial arts tournament series with health bars on the screen.
  • If Undertaker and Hulk Hogan were trucks.
  • Hockey except you play it with a basketball and there are trampolines on the floor.
  • Taking basketball and making it extreme.
  • Sitting around until one of you thinks of a way to end the show.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Jesse is @thefringthing on Twitter.
  • Avery has a Facebook somewhere and if you find it you can ask him whether he's playing any live shows.

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Writing a song and realizing that you just wrote Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies by mistake.
  • Not the coolest thing to accidentally be ripping off.
  • Rapidly shutting down the entire idea of introducing yourself.
  • Continuing to talk about about how mysterious Jesse is.
  • The question of whether a problem that has been proven unsolvable is as solved as it can be.
  • Asking two people to simultaneously explain Goldbach's Conjecture.
  • Four followed by more zeroes that would be in a trillion.
  • Determine whether the RDA of Iron is a multiple of two primes while choosing a can of soup.
  • Hitting the last prime number and running out.
  • Paul Erdos' advice for dealing with aliens who request Diagonal Ramsey Numbers.
  • Avery's favorite math proof.
  • Explaining to your bosses that your current task is technically uncomputable.
  • Not being able to elaborate on packing arc segments because biotech analysts might have you killed.
  • Yelling excitedly about graph isomorphism at the gym and tripping the Lunk Alarm.
  • Disappointment that Mr. Potato Head doesn't have an honorary doctorate.
  • Mr. Potato Head's presidential physical fitness award.
  • Potato cannibalism.
  • Most Votes For Mr. Potato Head In A Political Campaign.
  • Everyone who has finished Super Mario Bros. 2 in front of a Twin Galaxies representative.
  • A strange man lurking behind you while you play Mario, writing down your score.
  • The guy 120 Guinness World Records, or 119 if you don't count the "Most Guinness Records Held At Once" record.
  • Potato sack racing a yak across the Mongolian desert.
  • Most Yaks Raced Through The Mongolian Desert. (1)
  • The near worldwide tie of Most Guinness Records Not Held At Once.
  • Walking using shovels as stilts.
  • Most balloons inflated to inches in one hour. (671)
  • Slicing potatoes while hopping on a shovel.
  • Inheriting two shovels from your uncle's estate and trying to figure out what world records you can set using them.
  • Longest distance continuously somersaulting. (12 miles)
  • Whether cartwheeling for 12 miles is more strenuous than somersaulting for 12 miles.
  • Jumping on a pogo stick until your O2 tank is depleted.
  • Sleeping holding a brick.
  • Most Injuries Not Incurred Trying To Break World Records.
  • Trying to remember Fish Ladders but being derailed by the Fish Cannon.
  • Taking a break from counting fish.
  • Not performing any medicine for 10 hours and then in the next hour frantically performing 10x as much medicine as you normally would.
  • Buying a short-range electric car to teach yourself to plan better.
  • Being really confused by the turtle appearing on your dashboard and then the car turning off.
  • A dashboard light that's like the no smoking sign except instead of a cigarette it's a picture of your car.
  • Sneaking onto a billionaire's estate to furtively charge your Nissan Leaf.
  • Looking at security cam footage and seeing that you gave electricity to Doctor Who in a time of need.
  • The incredible variety of charge ports on a Nissan Leaf.
  • Having trophies ready to distribute as soon as you're allowed to leave the house.
  • Ordering yourself a "best attitude" trophy.
  • The gradient of a trophy's meaninglessness.
  • Ordering a bunch of trophies from Crown Awards and subsequently every ad you see being for Crown Awards.
  • Delving too deep into what a trophy is until it loses all meaning.
  • Realizing you could've ordered trophies better and throwing your existing trophies in the trash.
  • Passions being both flammable and inflammable.
  • Words that have changed meanings because of persistent misunderstandings.
  • Having a story about corn husks.
  • Holding a corn husk in the grocery store and saying "Ah! Corn husks!"
  • Explaining to schoolchildren that they used corn husks to wipe before toilet paper was invented but the children don't know what husks are so they assume you mean corn cobs.
  • Not eating the crabs that look like your forefathers.
  • Paying more attention to cats who cry at the same frequency as human babies.
  • Not eating the moths that look more like the soot-covered trees they're hiding on.
  • Sphinx Of Black Quartz, Judge My Vow except for the IPA.
  • Comparing accents visually.
  • Inventing new accents to compensate for accents merging into each other.
  • Having a particularly grating way of speaking and blaming it on being from San Francisco.
  • Your dead relative not listening to this podcast.
  • Whether or not Dragon's Lair is a pun.
  • Yelling like a soda jerk when the order is ready and nobody coming to pick it up because they can't understand what you're saying.
  • The British TV show that Sanford & Son was based on.
  • Memorizing your favorite carnival barker pitch and reciting it unprompted at family gatherings.
  • Field recordings of carnival barkers from the 1950s.
  • Pro Wrestling somehow retaining its weird 19th-century carny-speak for over a century.
  • Channeling the dark energy from your urn while you fight Hulk Hogan.
  • WMAC Masters, the martial arts tournament series with health bars on the screen.
  • If Undertaker and Hulk Hogan were trucks.
  • Hockey except you play it with a basketball and there are trampolines on the floor.
  • Taking basketball and making it extreme.
  • Sitting around until one of you thinks of a way to end the show.

Support Topic Lords

]]>