web02.fireside.fm Thu, 09 Apr 2026 03:44:09 -0500 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Hallie” https://topiclords.com/tags/hallie Mon, 08 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. en-us episodic The only place on the internet you can hear topics discussed! Jim Stormdancer Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. yes Jim Stormdancer jim@goombas.org 320. Wri Your WriMo, Gen Your GenMo https://topiclords.com/wri-your-wrimo-gen-your-genmo 6b51a81b-1388-4400-bc8b-0a74f94f6286 Mon, 08 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Hallie and Peter. We discuss where all your things are, how education doesn't melt, Bebop Bytes Back, and Augustus Gloop by Roald Dahl 1:15:43 yes Lords: * Hallie * Peter * https://www.paschaefer.com/ Topics: * Do you know where all your things are? * How education doesn't melt * Bebop Bytes Back * Augustus Gloop by Roald Dahl * https://allpoetry.com/-Augustus-Gloop...- Microtopics: * The Directrix of Cybernetic Security. * Unity licensing from Unity as Unity. * Fantasy Book of the Month. (FBOM) * Part zombie, part ghost. * Accidentally GenMoing your WriMo. * A house with a bunch of your things in it, and they're everywhere. * Knowing someone who knows how to find things and knowing someone who knows where things are. * Knowing where to put something because it's where you first thought to look for it. * A person who itches when they see somebody not using a switch statement. * Having been gradually removing yourself from social media since back when Twitter was Twitter. * Back when you could get out of a chair without grunting. * Getting the whooping cough and coughing your disc out. (And you're in your twenties.) * Whether your dad named you after the murderous robot in 2001. * Seeing your students cheating poorly and teaching them how to do it well. * Scaffolding it pedagogically. * Big boat: hard turn. * How do we get education to exhibit swarm behavior? * A brand new exciting way to be bummed. * Education by Panopticon. * LLMs exposing how much of people's jobs and education are bullshit busywork. * When does the salt jump? * Putting together the 50s and then putting together the tens and then putting together the fours. * The simplest shallowest version of active listening that exists. * Doritos hacking the learning loop. * Continually finding new opiates of the masses. * Typing hex opcodes into the Beboputer. * An effective educational tool that has never been less appealing to the youth it's targeted at. * Steve Jobs coming out of his grave and slitting your throat if you install a programming tool on your iPhone. * Making the sun wink and realizing that this is the rest of your life. * Deescalating your LLM partner when it has an anxiety attack. * Your Socratic Oxford Don persona. * The Life Cycle of Software Objects. * There is a mistake, and it is being overcome. * Steps you can take to avoid Godzilla coming back and nature reclaiming the earth. * A poem written by a beloved children's author who absolutely loathes fat people. * Whether the terrible children in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are all based on people that Roald Dahl knew. * SwitchBitch, Roald Dahl's famous Typescript library. * Making sure your weirdness is a kindness. * Roald Dahl: boy did he do the stuff. * Penning The Twits in an effort to "do something against beards." * Why Stephen King? * The Dollar Babies. * Whether Stephen King is still on MySpace. * Walking down the road and hearing Stephen King yelling at cloud. * The Dave Barry game jam. * Going into the sewer and solving puzzle platformer problems. * Group hug vs. forming a blob. * Tube Hippo is back! * The game engine sorting hat. * Coming out of character to talk about Inform 7. * The year that you fucked around with interactive fiction but never shipped anything. * Presuming that interactive fiction has continued to be great even after you stopped playing. * Choosing Twine over Inform 7 because of your absolutely enormous forelimbs. * LLMs as an extremely fancy Tarot deck. Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The Directrix of Cybernetic Security.
  • Unity licensing from Unity as Unity.
  • Fantasy Book of the Month. (FBOM)
  • Part zombie, part ghost.
  • Accidentally GenMoing your WriMo.
  • A house with a bunch of your things in it, and they're everywhere.
  • Knowing someone who knows how to find things and knowing someone who knows where things are.
  • Knowing where to put something because it's where you first thought to look for it.
  • A person who itches when they see somebody not using a switch statement.
  • Having been gradually removing yourself from social media since back when Twitter was Twitter.
  • Back when you could get out of a chair without grunting.
  • Getting the whooping cough and coughing your disc out. (And you're in your twenties.)
  • Whether your dad named you after the murderous robot in 2001.
  • Seeing your students cheating poorly and teaching them how to do it well.
  • Scaffolding it pedagogically.
  • Big boat: hard turn.
  • How do we get education to exhibit swarm behavior?
  • A brand new exciting way to be bummed.
  • Education by Panopticon.
  • LLMs exposing how much of people's jobs and education are bullshit busywork.
  • When does the salt jump?
  • Putting together the 50s and then putting together the tens and then putting together the fours.
  • The simplest shallowest version of active listening that exists.
  • Doritos hacking the learning loop.
  • Continually finding new opiates of the masses.
  • Typing hex opcodes into the Beboputer.
  • An effective educational tool that has never been less appealing to the youth it's targeted at.
  • Steve Jobs coming out of his grave and slitting your throat if you install a programming tool on your iPhone.
  • Making the sun wink and realizing that this is the rest of your life.
  • Deescalating your LLM partner when it has an anxiety attack.
  • Your Socratic Oxford Don persona.
  • The Life Cycle of Software Objects.
  • There is a mistake, and it is being overcome.
  • Steps you can take to avoid Godzilla coming back and nature reclaiming the earth.
  • A poem written by a beloved children's author who absolutely loathes fat people.
  • Whether the terrible children in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are all based on people that Roald Dahl knew.
  • SwitchBitch, Roald Dahl's famous Typescript library.
  • Making sure your weirdness is a kindness.
  • Roald Dahl: boy did he do the stuff.
  • Penning The Twits in an effort to "do something against beards."
  • Why Stephen King?
  • The Dollar Babies.
  • Whether Stephen King is still on MySpace.
  • Walking down the road and hearing Stephen King yelling at cloud.
  • The Dave Barry game jam.
  • Going into the sewer and solving puzzle platformer problems.
  • Group hug vs. forming a blob.
  • Tube Hippo is back!
  • The game engine sorting hat.
  • Coming out of character to talk about Inform 7.
  • The year that you fucked around with interactive fiction but never shipped anything.
  • Presuming that interactive fiction has continued to be great even after you stopped playing.
  • Choosing Twine over Inform 7 because of your absolutely enormous forelimbs.
  • LLMs as an extremely fancy Tarot deck.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The Directrix of Cybernetic Security.
  • Unity licensing from Unity as Unity.
  • Fantasy Book of the Month. (FBOM)
  • Part zombie, part ghost.
  • Accidentally GenMoing your WriMo.
  • A house with a bunch of your things in it, and they're everywhere.
  • Knowing someone who knows how to find things and knowing someone who knows where things are.
  • Knowing where to put something because it's where you first thought to look for it.
  • A person who itches when they see somebody not using a switch statement.
  • Having been gradually removing yourself from social media since back when Twitter was Twitter.
  • Back when you could get out of a chair without grunting.
  • Getting the whooping cough and coughing your disc out. (And you're in your twenties.)
  • Whether your dad named you after the murderous robot in 2001.
  • Seeing your students cheating poorly and teaching them how to do it well.
  • Scaffolding it pedagogically.
  • Big boat: hard turn.
  • How do we get education to exhibit swarm behavior?
  • A brand new exciting way to be bummed.
  • Education by Panopticon.
  • LLMs exposing how much of people's jobs and education are bullshit busywork.
  • When does the salt jump?
  • Putting together the 50s and then putting together the tens and then putting together the fours.
  • The simplest shallowest version of active listening that exists.
  • Doritos hacking the learning loop.
  • Continually finding new opiates of the masses.
  • Typing hex opcodes into the Beboputer.
  • An effective educational tool that has never been less appealing to the youth it's targeted at.
  • Steve Jobs coming out of his grave and slitting your throat if you install a programming tool on your iPhone.
  • Making the sun wink and realizing that this is the rest of your life.
  • Deescalating your LLM partner when it has an anxiety attack.
  • Your Socratic Oxford Don persona.
  • The Life Cycle of Software Objects.
  • There is a mistake, and it is being overcome.
  • Steps you can take to avoid Godzilla coming back and nature reclaiming the earth.
  • A poem written by a beloved children's author who absolutely loathes fat people.
  • Whether the terrible children in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory are all based on people that Roald Dahl knew.
  • SwitchBitch, Roald Dahl's famous Typescript library.
  • Making sure your weirdness is a kindness.
  • Roald Dahl: boy did he do the stuff.
  • Penning The Twits in an effort to "do something against beards."
  • Why Stephen King?
  • The Dollar Babies.
  • Whether Stephen King is still on MySpace.
  • Walking down the road and hearing Stephen King yelling at cloud.
  • The Dave Barry game jam.
  • Going into the sewer and solving puzzle platformer problems.
  • Group hug vs. forming a blob.
  • Tube Hippo is back!
  • The game engine sorting hat.
  • Coming out of character to talk about Inform 7.
  • The year that you fucked around with interactive fiction but never shipped anything.
  • Presuming that interactive fiction has continued to be great even after you stopped playing.
  • Choosing Twine over Inform 7 because of your absolutely enormous forelimbs.
  • LLMs as an extremely fancy Tarot deck.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 270. B-Roll of the Big Bang https://topiclords.com/b-roll-of-the-big-bang c7dea7bf-4656-4c01-8cb8-fc7a69a67943 Mon, 23 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Alexander and Hallie. We discuss making AI drunk, how Star Wars being bought Disney is basically the same thing as the Roman Empire converting to Christianity, Electromagnetism, Super Bon Bon according to Google search, using flow theory and Kubler Ross grief to drive learning systems, and animals you want to pet, but cannot. 1:08:27 yes Lords: * Alexander * Hallie Topics: * Making AI drunk * Alexander's name generator, rehosted: http://twinbeard.com/names/ * How Star Wars being bought Disney is basically the same thing as the Roman Empire converting to Christianity * Electromagnetism * Super Bon Bon (according to Google search) * https://www.google.com/search?q=super+bon+bon+lyrics * Using flow theory and Kubler Ross grief to drive learning systems * Animals you want to pet, but cannot. Microtopics: * A Game Called Anomaly. * A tarot-based GM-less storytelling game about a sinister organization investigating a supernatural The KGB (not that one) * Deliberately lo-fi neural nets. * Real to less-real name sliders. * What Jamden Ovenson is up to these days. * Cranking the tipsy slider all way up. * anomaly. * Things humans can do with new tools. * Setting desired and undesired objectives for your learning designers. * Learning to speak as many languages as possible so that Godzilla does not rise from the briny deep. * Refusing to let the AI drive the bus. * A very big json dump. * The Mac Mini in your closet that runs your witch's familiars. * Things that are obvious to you but not to anyone else. * Cool apocryphal acts, bro. * Getting into Christ before it was cool. * Decanonizing anything that doesn't serve your power interests. * Bible/Star Wars crossover fan fiction. * Once you eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, forever will it dominate your destiny. * Metals that can be turned into a magnet. * Where to even start with spin? * Whether protons are physical objects. * The language of perceiving the world. * Reading a poem about quantum physics. * Finally understanding the mathematics of love so you can ditch the love poetry and find the best lovers in the math department. * Which types of quark are super effective against other types of quark. * Why they call it electromagnetism. * But what about the Bullet Galaxies? * Weakly-interactive massive particles, or WIMPs. * Another particle that we thought up. * Microphones not picking up your tinnitus. * Extremely slow and old neutrinos. * Cosmic Microwave Background Average Frame of Reference. * The Soul Coughing cadence. * A poem, but it's performed in a certain rhythm. Some white guy should invent that and take credit for it. * Song Meanings Blog Dot Com. * Helping drive exploration of new ideas. * Making a name generator so bad that nobody uses it more than once. * Patterns and responses that characterize human behavior. * Grief as a mechanism to address overfitting in the human learning model. * The Parable of the Spandrel. * Possibilities that are more probable than Godzilla having eaten your house. * Depression as a way to just sit there. * Automatons with anxiety. * Entering random Game Genie codes into your neural net. * Wanting to pet a service dog because he's the best boy. * Service dogs having their own service dogs, recursively all the way down. * A chicken named Regular Expressions, or Reggie for short. * Digging in anything that looks diggable. * Being desperately confused by objects that you can see through but not walk through. * Ways to not get tricked by yourself or others. Lords:

  • Alexander
  • Hallie

Topics:

  • Making AI drunk
  • How Star Wars being bought Disney is basically the same thing as the Roman Empire converting to Christianity
  • Electromagnetism
  • Super Bon Bon (according to Google search)
  • Using flow theory and Kubler Ross grief to drive learning systems
  • Animals you want to pet, but cannot.

Microtopics:

  • A Game Called Anomaly.
  • A tarot-based GM-less storytelling game about a sinister organization investigating a supernatural The KGB (not that one)
  • Deliberately lo-fi neural nets.
  • Real to less-real name sliders.
  • What Jamden Ovenson is up to these days.
  • Cranking the tipsy slider all way up.
  • anomaly.
  • Things humans can do with new tools.
  • Setting desired and undesired objectives for your learning designers.
  • Learning to speak as many languages as possible so that Godzilla does not rise from the briny deep.
  • Refusing to let the AI drive the bus.
  • A very big json dump.
  • The Mac Mini in your closet that runs your witch's familiars.
  • Things that are obvious to you but not to anyone else.
  • Cool apocryphal acts, bro.
  • Getting into Christ before it was cool.
  • Decanonizing anything that doesn't serve your power interests.
  • Bible/Star Wars crossover fan fiction.
  • Once you eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, forever will it dominate your destiny.
  • Metals that can be turned into a magnet.
  • Where to even start with spin?
  • Whether protons are physical objects.
  • The language of perceiving the world.
  • Reading a poem about quantum physics.
  • Finally understanding the mathematics of love so you can ditch the love poetry and find the best lovers in the math department.
  • Which types of quark are super effective against other types of quark.
  • Why they call it electromagnetism.
  • But what about the Bullet Galaxies?
  • Weakly-interactive massive particles, or WIMPs.
  • Another particle that we thought up.
  • Microphones not picking up your tinnitus.
  • Extremely slow and old neutrinos.
  • Cosmic Microwave Background Average Frame of Reference.
  • The Soul Coughing cadence.
  • A poem, but it's performed in a certain rhythm. Some white guy should invent that and take credit for it.
  • Song Meanings Blog Dot Com.
  • Helping drive exploration of new ideas.
  • Making a name generator so bad that nobody uses it more than once.
  • Patterns and responses that characterize human behavior.
  • Grief as a mechanism to address overfitting in the human learning model.
  • The Parable of the Spandrel.
  • Possibilities that are more probable than Godzilla having eaten your house.
  • Depression as a way to just sit there.
  • Automatons with anxiety.
  • Entering random Game Genie codes into your neural net.
  • Wanting to pet a service dog because he's the best boy.
  • Service dogs having their own service dogs, recursively all the way down.
  • A chicken named Regular Expressions, or Reggie for short.
  • Digging in anything that looks diggable.
  • Being desperately confused by objects that you can see through but not walk through.
  • Ways to not get tricked by yourself or others.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

  • Alexander
  • Hallie

Topics:

  • Making AI drunk
  • How Star Wars being bought Disney is basically the same thing as the Roman Empire converting to Christianity
  • Electromagnetism
  • Super Bon Bon (according to Google search)
  • Using flow theory and Kubler Ross grief to drive learning systems
  • Animals you want to pet, but cannot.

Microtopics:

  • A Game Called Anomaly.
  • A tarot-based GM-less storytelling game about a sinister organization investigating a supernatural The KGB (not that one)
  • Deliberately lo-fi neural nets.
  • Real to less-real name sliders.
  • What Jamden Ovenson is up to these days.
  • Cranking the tipsy slider all way up.
  • anomaly.
  • Things humans can do with new tools.
  • Setting desired and undesired objectives for your learning designers.
  • Learning to speak as many languages as possible so that Godzilla does not rise from the briny deep.
  • Refusing to let the AI drive the bus.
  • A very big json dump.
  • The Mac Mini in your closet that runs your witch's familiars.
  • Things that are obvious to you but not to anyone else.
  • Cool apocryphal acts, bro.
  • Getting into Christ before it was cool.
  • Decanonizing anything that doesn't serve your power interests.
  • Bible/Star Wars crossover fan fiction.
  • Once you eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, forever will it dominate your destiny.
  • Metals that can be turned into a magnet.
  • Where to even start with spin?
  • Whether protons are physical objects.
  • The language of perceiving the world.
  • Reading a poem about quantum physics.
  • Finally understanding the mathematics of love so you can ditch the love poetry and find the best lovers in the math department.
  • Which types of quark are super effective against other types of quark.
  • Why they call it electromagnetism.
  • But what about the Bullet Galaxies?
  • Weakly-interactive massive particles, or WIMPs.
  • Another particle that we thought up.
  • Microphones not picking up your tinnitus.
  • Extremely slow and old neutrinos.
  • Cosmic Microwave Background Average Frame of Reference.
  • The Soul Coughing cadence.
  • A poem, but it's performed in a certain rhythm. Some white guy should invent that and take credit for it.
  • Song Meanings Blog Dot Com.
  • Helping drive exploration of new ideas.
  • Making a name generator so bad that nobody uses it more than once.
  • Patterns and responses that characterize human behavior.
  • Grief as a mechanism to address overfitting in the human learning model.
  • The Parable of the Spandrel.
  • Possibilities that are more probable than Godzilla having eaten your house.
  • Depression as a way to just sit there.
  • Automatons with anxiety.
  • Entering random Game Genie codes into your neural net.
  • Wanting to pet a service dog because he's the best boy.
  • Service dogs having their own service dogs, recursively all the way down.
  • A chicken named Regular Expressions, or Reggie for short.
  • Digging in anything that looks diggable.
  • Being desperately confused by objects that you can see through but not walk through.
  • Ways to not get tricked by yourself or others.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 208. E.T. Shot First https://topiclords.com/et-shot-first b31677bf-7e49-4f89-aa25-ebbc3bdf158e Mon, 16 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Hallie and Tyriq. We discuss not really caring for potatoes, wearing shorts, why ants are on my desk, the go-getters of pre-dawn gym, non-feathered dinosaurs in the public imagination, and McPop. 1:01:28 yes Lords: * Hallie * Tyriq Topics: * People really like potatoes and I don't get it * I wear shorts now. * Why are these ants on my desk? * The go-getters of predawn gym * Non feathered dinosaurs in the public imagination * Esper says: Magic: the Gathering does have feathered dinosaurs as part of its mesoamerican-inspired setting, which look cool as hell. Not all of them are completely covered or anything, but Gishath is a good example of how to make a dinosaur look really intimidating and powerful while still having feathers. https://scryfall.com/card/xln/222/gishath-suns-avatar * McPop Microtopics: * Not counting the Zelda game you made. * Mashing up the hummus beans. * Tahini texture. * Garbanzo merengue. * Cutting-edge vegan technology. * Making video games until you learn better. * The freezer popsicle that's just a tube of flavored water. * Potato struggle sessions. * Curly fries versus seasoned curly fries. * A waste of a hearty food that should last longer. * Century potatoes. * Burying a potato in the ground and setting a peat bog on fire. * Taro chips. * The bag in the grocery store that says "veggie sticks" and there's a picture of fresh vegetables on the bag but inside it's just potato slurry fried into stick form. * Anti-shorts positions. * A tattoo in a conspicuous place. * Showing up to a game jam in a Voldo harness. * A tattoo that makes it look like you've been scratching a rash. * Getting a cool tattoo and starting going to the gym because you want to be worthy of the tattoo. * A slovenly dude in a fedora getting a sick tattoo of a slovenly dude in a fedora. * Yakuza style tattoos except it's all video game shit. * Leaving an olive under your desk. * What the ants are into lately. * House Ants. * Storehouses of finger dust. * Letting the ants have the olive. * Mice with an exoskeleton. * Sitting on a toilet made of ants and instantly becoming one with the ants. * A bottle of Ginger Ants. * Extremely tangy abyss. * What is in my mouth? What is in my bed? * Rolling a ball of goo over your keyboard. * Finding some good goo and keeping it to yourself. * The validity of shipping yourself with things. * Merging your cats. * Motivated brothers. * Waking up at 5:30 to go to the gym. * Go-gettitude. * Chronotypes. * Expressing all the aspirational aspects of yourself. * The only person flexing in the mirrors. * Why is this young teen here so early? * Pretty ripped. (For a child.) * Giving up on waking up before dawn and becoming the kind of go-getter who gets later things. * Reconstructing dinosaurs based on what people think they should look like. * Semi-mythical creatures. (That actually existed.) * Microraptors that are slightly melty. * 65, with Adam Driver. * An interesting concept, executed poorly. * The Pepsisaur. * Adam Driver running away from horny dudes crawling around in mocap suits and the test audiences hate it so they CGI in some horny humanoid dinosaurs. * Having kids and patching ET so the government agents don't have guns and then after your kids grow up, patching ET so they have extra guns. * Twelve gauge flashlights. * Lemmings but with babies. * One of each type of eye. * Eyes that are so human looking that it kind of fucks you up. * A reverse The Fly situation. * McPopHouse. * The Junta of Tralfaz. * Picking up a new key and trying it on every locked door you've ever seen. * Pressing insert to empty your sexual tension meter. * Back before Microsoft Word owned the .doc extension. * A hoary pld PD Turbo 3.0 include file circa 1985. * Sentences from shareware documentation that have been in your head for 30 years. * BBS Doors. * Legend of the Red Dragon. * Reprising your role as Olmec. Lords:

  • Hallie
  • Tyriq

Topics:

  • People really like potatoes and I don't get it
  • I wear shorts now.
  • Why are these ants on my desk?
  • The go-getters of predawn gym
  • Non feathered dinosaurs in the public imagination
    • Esper says: Magic: the Gathering does have feathered dinosaurs as part of its mesoamerican-inspired setting, which look cool as hell. Not all of them are completely covered or anything, but Gishath is a good example of how to make a dinosaur look really intimidating and powerful while still having feathers. https://scryfall.com/card/xln/222/gishath-suns-avatar
  • McPop

Microtopics:

  • Not counting the Zelda game you made.
  • Mashing up the hummus beans.
  • Tahini texture.
  • Garbanzo merengue.
  • Cutting-edge vegan technology.
  • Making video games until you learn better.
  • The freezer popsicle that's just a tube of flavored water.
  • Potato struggle sessions.
  • Curly fries versus seasoned curly fries.
  • A waste of a hearty food that should last longer.
  • Century potatoes.
  • Burying a potato in the ground and setting a peat bog on fire.
  • Taro chips.
  • The bag in the grocery store that says "veggie sticks" and there's a picture of fresh vegetables on the bag but inside it's just potato slurry fried into stick form.
  • Anti-shorts positions.
  • A tattoo in a conspicuous place.
  • Showing up to a game jam in a Voldo harness.
  • A tattoo that makes it look like you've been scratching a rash.
  • Getting a cool tattoo and starting going to the gym because you want to be worthy of the tattoo.
  • A slovenly dude in a fedora getting a sick tattoo of a slovenly dude in a fedora.
  • Yakuza style tattoos except it's all video game shit.
  • Leaving an olive under your desk.
  • What the ants are into lately.
  • House Ants.
  • Storehouses of finger dust.
  • Letting the ants have the olive.
  • Mice with an exoskeleton.
  • Sitting on a toilet made of ants and instantly becoming one with the ants.
  • A bottle of Ginger Ants.
  • Extremely tangy abyss.
  • What is in my mouth? What is in my bed?
  • Rolling a ball of goo over your keyboard.
  • Finding some good goo and keeping it to yourself.
  • The validity of shipping yourself with things.
  • Merging your cats.
  • Motivated brothers.
  • Waking up at 5:30 to go to the gym.
  • Go-gettitude.
  • Chronotypes.
  • Expressing all the aspirational aspects of yourself.
  • The only person flexing in the mirrors.
  • Why is this young teen here so early?
  • Pretty ripped. (For a child.)
  • Giving up on waking up before dawn and becoming the kind of go-getter who gets later things.
  • Reconstructing dinosaurs based on what people think they should look like.
  • Semi-mythical creatures. (That actually existed.)
  • Microraptors that are slightly melty.
  • 65, with Adam Driver.
  • An interesting concept, executed poorly.
  • The Pepsisaur.
  • Adam Driver running away from horny dudes crawling around in mocap suits and the test audiences hate it so they CGI in some horny humanoid dinosaurs.
  • Having kids and patching ET so the government agents don't have guns and then after your kids grow up, patching ET so they have extra guns.
  • Twelve gauge flashlights.
  • Lemmings but with babies.
  • One of each type of eye.
  • Eyes that are so human looking that it kind of fucks you up.
  • A reverse The Fly situation.
  • McPopHouse.
  • The Junta of Tralfaz.
  • Picking up a new key and trying it on every locked door you've ever seen.
  • Pressing insert to empty your sexual tension meter.
  • Back before Microsoft Word owned the .doc extension.
  • A hoary pld PD Turbo 3.0 include file circa 1985.
  • Sentences from shareware documentation that have been in your head for 30 years.
  • BBS Doors.
  • Legend of the Red Dragon.
  • Reprising your role as Olmec.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

  • Hallie
  • Tyriq

Topics:

  • People really like potatoes and I don't get it
  • I wear shorts now.
  • Why are these ants on my desk?
  • The go-getters of predawn gym
  • Non feathered dinosaurs in the public imagination
    • Esper says: Magic: the Gathering does have feathered dinosaurs as part of its mesoamerican-inspired setting, which look cool as hell. Not all of them are completely covered or anything, but Gishath is a good example of how to make a dinosaur look really intimidating and powerful while still having feathers. https://scryfall.com/card/xln/222/gishath-suns-avatar
  • McPop

Microtopics:

  • Not counting the Zelda game you made.
  • Mashing up the hummus beans.
  • Tahini texture.
  • Garbanzo merengue.
  • Cutting-edge vegan technology.
  • Making video games until you learn better.
  • The freezer popsicle that's just a tube of flavored water.
  • Potato struggle sessions.
  • Curly fries versus seasoned curly fries.
  • A waste of a hearty food that should last longer.
  • Century potatoes.
  • Burying a potato in the ground and setting a peat bog on fire.
  • Taro chips.
  • The bag in the grocery store that says "veggie sticks" and there's a picture of fresh vegetables on the bag but inside it's just potato slurry fried into stick form.
  • Anti-shorts positions.
  • A tattoo in a conspicuous place.
  • Showing up to a game jam in a Voldo harness.
  • A tattoo that makes it look like you've been scratching a rash.
  • Getting a cool tattoo and starting going to the gym because you want to be worthy of the tattoo.
  • A slovenly dude in a fedora getting a sick tattoo of a slovenly dude in a fedora.
  • Yakuza style tattoos except it's all video game shit.
  • Leaving an olive under your desk.
  • What the ants are into lately.
  • House Ants.
  • Storehouses of finger dust.
  • Letting the ants have the olive.
  • Mice with an exoskeleton.
  • Sitting on a toilet made of ants and instantly becoming one with the ants.
  • A bottle of Ginger Ants.
  • Extremely tangy abyss.
  • What is in my mouth? What is in my bed?
  • Rolling a ball of goo over your keyboard.
  • Finding some good goo and keeping it to yourself.
  • The validity of shipping yourself with things.
  • Merging your cats.
  • Motivated brothers.
  • Waking up at 5:30 to go to the gym.
  • Go-gettitude.
  • Chronotypes.
  • Expressing all the aspirational aspects of yourself.
  • The only person flexing in the mirrors.
  • Why is this young teen here so early?
  • Pretty ripped. (For a child.)
  • Giving up on waking up before dawn and becoming the kind of go-getter who gets later things.
  • Reconstructing dinosaurs based on what people think they should look like.
  • Semi-mythical creatures. (That actually existed.)
  • Microraptors that are slightly melty.
  • 65, with Adam Driver.
  • An interesting concept, executed poorly.
  • The Pepsisaur.
  • Adam Driver running away from horny dudes crawling around in mocap suits and the test audiences hate it so they CGI in some horny humanoid dinosaurs.
  • Having kids and patching ET so the government agents don't have guns and then after your kids grow up, patching ET so they have extra guns.
  • Twelve gauge flashlights.
  • Lemmings but with babies.
  • One of each type of eye.
  • Eyes that are so human looking that it kind of fucks you up.
  • A reverse The Fly situation.
  • McPopHouse.
  • The Junta of Tralfaz.
  • Picking up a new key and trying it on every locked door you've ever seen.
  • Pressing insert to empty your sexual tension meter.
  • Back before Microsoft Word owned the .doc extension.
  • A hoary pld PD Turbo 3.0 include file circa 1985.
  • Sentences from shareware documentation that have been in your head for 30 years.
  • BBS Doors.
  • Legend of the Red Dragon.
  • Reprising your role as Olmec.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 190. The Linguistic Eggplant-Dick Collapse https://topiclords.com/the-linguistic-eggplant-dick-collapse 59a0292a-1147-441a-970e-651b93846514 Mon, 12 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Tyriq and Hallie. We discuss clues for secrets nearby, kids on TV hating leftovers, smartphone sales declining 11% in 2022 while sales of flip phones double, The Road Not Taken, what will emoji look like in 100 years?, and a conspiracy regarding the shape of hand-held supermarket baskets. 56:11 yes Lords: * Tyriq * Hallie Topics: * The world needs more clues for secrets nearby * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUXow3d3-b0 * How kids on tv used to hate leftovers * Smartphone sales declined 11% in 2022 while sales of flip phones doubled * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken * What will emoji look like in 100 years? * I have invented a conspiracy regarding the shape of hand-held supermarket baskets Microtopics: * Lumps. * Lumpy Space Princess. * The best Space Princesses. * A completely different two Ls. * A good first vertically scrolling shooter. * Electric vehicle backing up noises. * Collecting Tesla license plates whenever you hear the Tesla collectible item noise. * The most sound-designed thing you interact with on a regular basis. * What kind of noises electric motorcycles make. * The laser you can point at any window to turn it into a speaker. * Bubb Rubb's reaction to whistle tips. * An urban legend about a haunted car driving down the freeway. * Advertisers beaming holograms directly into your AR goggles. * The city where instead of taxes they have ads and you're not allowed into the city without wearing the AR goggles at all times, even in the shower. * Wandering into the woods to escape the ubiquitous advertising but the birds have learned to repeat the ads. * Birds who sing the song that turns your skull into a speaker. * A scrub jay watching you with binoculars from across the street, reading your lips while you talk about the brown note, so it can teach the rest of the birds the song that makes the humans shit their pants. * Describing memes on podcasts. * The fungus that killed all the leftovers so the leftovers we eat today are a completely different varietal of leftovers. * Why leftovers-flavored jelly beans don't taste like real leftovers. * Spending more money so people don't perceive you as poor. * Food that you don't have to cook again. * Eating pizza straight out of the freezer. * Taking an ice cold slice of pizza into a hot shower. * Toaster pizza. * Cat body temperature pizza. * Rosemary garlic pop tarts. * Whether a day old poptart you forgot in the toaster counts as leftovers. * Leftunders. * Increasing crime by 100% but it's all good crime. * Flip phones Georg and whether he should be counted. * If anyone in the world decides not to eat something, that thing is canonically leftovers. * Wanting to be in a forest. * Dudes talking about themselves and the roads they've traveled. * The Most Misread Poem in America. * Pop quiz: individualism or fake individualism? * Doing a Twitter poll every time you are making a life decision and then taking the road less traveled by. * Dialects of emoji. * What Unicode looks like in the future where we communicate by swapping brain lobes with each other momentarily. * Doing the emoji hand clap for every word thing in your Great American Novel. * A screen reader reading out ascii art of a forest and after six minutes the blind user is like "nice forest!" * What the audio book for House of Leaves sounds like. * Lexicalogical collapse. * Veiny eggplant. * Which end of the eggplant emoji the droplets go on. * Genetically modifying eggplants so they look like dicks while unbeknownst to you another scientist is genetically modifying dicks so they look like eggplants and everyone remains confused. * Going to the bulk bin and scooping rice directly into your shopping basket. * If rice is like water and Bruce Lee is like water then Bruce Lee is like rice. * Trying to Tetris into a curve. * When a service works perfectly fine and they change things for no reason. * Searching Podcast Addict for a podcast and it comes back with a one episode podcast called "Please Update Podcast Addict" * Uber and Lyft becoming uncompetitive because they're trying to be profitable. * Ads that aren't even beamed directly into your skull so that good are they? * Advertising by teleporting a brain hemisphere of someone who loves your product with your target audience so you can share their knowledge. Lords:

  • Tyriq
  • Hallie

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Lumps.
  • Lumpy Space Princess.
  • The best Space Princesses.
  • A completely different two Ls.
  • A good first vertically scrolling shooter.
  • Electric vehicle backing up noises.
  • Collecting Tesla license plates whenever you hear the Tesla collectible item noise.
  • The most sound-designed thing you interact with on a regular basis.
  • What kind of noises electric motorcycles make.
  • The laser you can point at any window to turn it into a speaker.
  • Bubb Rubb's reaction to whistle tips.
  • An urban legend about a haunted car driving down the freeway.
  • Advertisers beaming holograms directly into your AR goggles.
  • The city where instead of taxes they have ads and you're not allowed into the city without wearing the AR goggles at all times, even in the shower.
  • Wandering into the woods to escape the ubiquitous advertising but the birds have learned to repeat the ads.
  • Birds who sing the song that turns your skull into a speaker.
  • A scrub jay watching you with binoculars from across the street, reading your lips while you talk about the brown note, so it can teach the rest of the birds the song that makes the humans shit their pants.
  • Describing memes on podcasts.
  • The fungus that killed all the leftovers so the leftovers we eat today are a completely different varietal of leftovers.
  • Why leftovers-flavored jelly beans don't taste like real leftovers.
  • Spending more money so people don't perceive you as poor.
  • Food that you don't have to cook again.
  • Eating pizza straight out of the freezer.
  • Taking an ice cold slice of pizza into a hot shower.
  • Toaster pizza.
  • Cat body temperature pizza.
  • Rosemary garlic pop tarts.
  • Whether a day old poptart you forgot in the toaster counts as leftovers.
  • Leftunders.
  • Increasing crime by 100% but it's all good crime.
  • Flip phones Georg and whether he should be counted.
  • If anyone in the world decides not to eat something, that thing is canonically leftovers.
  • Wanting to be in a forest.
  • Dudes talking about themselves and the roads they've traveled.
  • The Most Misread Poem in America.
  • Pop quiz: individualism or fake individualism?
  • Doing a Twitter poll every time you are making a life decision and then taking the road less traveled by.
  • Dialects of emoji.
  • What Unicode looks like in the future where we communicate by swapping brain lobes with each other momentarily.
  • Doing the emoji hand clap for every word thing in your Great American Novel.
  • A screen reader reading out ascii art of a forest and after six minutes the blind user is like "nice forest!"
  • What the audio book for House of Leaves sounds like.
  • Lexicalogical collapse.
  • Veiny eggplant.
  • Which end of the eggplant emoji the droplets go on.
  • Genetically modifying eggplants so they look like dicks while unbeknownst to you another scientist is genetically modifying dicks so they look like eggplants and everyone remains confused.
  • Going to the bulk bin and scooping rice directly into your shopping basket.
  • If rice is like water and Bruce Lee is like water then Bruce Lee is like rice.
  • Trying to Tetris into a curve.
  • When a service works perfectly fine and they change things for no reason.
  • Searching Podcast Addict for a podcast and it comes back with a one episode podcast called "Please Update Podcast Addict"
  • Uber and Lyft becoming uncompetitive because they're trying to be profitable.
  • Ads that aren't even beamed directly into your skull so that good are they?
  • Advertising by teleporting a brain hemisphere of someone who loves your product with your target audience so you can share their knowledge.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

  • Tyriq
  • Hallie

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Lumps.
  • Lumpy Space Princess.
  • The best Space Princesses.
  • A completely different two Ls.
  • A good first vertically scrolling shooter.
  • Electric vehicle backing up noises.
  • Collecting Tesla license plates whenever you hear the Tesla collectible item noise.
  • The most sound-designed thing you interact with on a regular basis.
  • What kind of noises electric motorcycles make.
  • The laser you can point at any window to turn it into a speaker.
  • Bubb Rubb's reaction to whistle tips.
  • An urban legend about a haunted car driving down the freeway.
  • Advertisers beaming holograms directly into your AR goggles.
  • The city where instead of taxes they have ads and you're not allowed into the city without wearing the AR goggles at all times, even in the shower.
  • Wandering into the woods to escape the ubiquitous advertising but the birds have learned to repeat the ads.
  • Birds who sing the song that turns your skull into a speaker.
  • A scrub jay watching you with binoculars from across the street, reading your lips while you talk about the brown note, so it can teach the rest of the birds the song that makes the humans shit their pants.
  • Describing memes on podcasts.
  • The fungus that killed all the leftovers so the leftovers we eat today are a completely different varietal of leftovers.
  • Why leftovers-flavored jelly beans don't taste like real leftovers.
  • Spending more money so people don't perceive you as poor.
  • Food that you don't have to cook again.
  • Eating pizza straight out of the freezer.
  • Taking an ice cold slice of pizza into a hot shower.
  • Toaster pizza.
  • Cat body temperature pizza.
  • Rosemary garlic pop tarts.
  • Whether a day old poptart you forgot in the toaster counts as leftovers.
  • Leftunders.
  • Increasing crime by 100% but it's all good crime.
  • Flip phones Georg and whether he should be counted.
  • If anyone in the world decides not to eat something, that thing is canonically leftovers.
  • Wanting to be in a forest.
  • Dudes talking about themselves and the roads they've traveled.
  • The Most Misread Poem in America.
  • Pop quiz: individualism or fake individualism?
  • Doing a Twitter poll every time you are making a life decision and then taking the road less traveled by.
  • Dialects of emoji.
  • What Unicode looks like in the future where we communicate by swapping brain lobes with each other momentarily.
  • Doing the emoji hand clap for every word thing in your Great American Novel.
  • A screen reader reading out ascii art of a forest and after six minutes the blind user is like "nice forest!"
  • What the audio book for House of Leaves sounds like.
  • Lexicalogical collapse.
  • Veiny eggplant.
  • Which end of the eggplant emoji the droplets go on.
  • Genetically modifying eggplants so they look like dicks while unbeknownst to you another scientist is genetically modifying dicks so they look like eggplants and everyone remains confused.
  • Going to the bulk bin and scooping rice directly into your shopping basket.
  • If rice is like water and Bruce Lee is like water then Bruce Lee is like rice.
  • Trying to Tetris into a curve.
  • When a service works perfectly fine and they change things for no reason.
  • Searching Podcast Addict for a podcast and it comes back with a one episode podcast called "Please Update Podcast Addict"
  • Uber and Lyft becoming uncompetitive because they're trying to be profitable.
  • Ads that aren't even beamed directly into your skull so that good are they?
  • Advertising by teleporting a brain hemisphere of someone who loves your product with your target audience so you can share their knowledge.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 176. A Diglett Slightly Tan https://topiclords.com/a-diglett-slightly-tan 127a7a67-7bc2-4d2f-aace-fe8c21d779c4 Mon, 06 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Hallie and John B. We discuss tabletop RPGs as educational platform, Flicky-likes, Etch A Sketch Animator 2000, My Brother's Head Should Be Replaced by Jack Prelutsky, and Buff Diglett. 54:28 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * John B Topics: * Tabletop RPGs as educational platform * Flicky-likes * Etch A Sketch Animator 2000 * Poem: "My Brother's Head Should Be Replaced" by Jack Prelutsky * https://youtu.be/TYXJyxT7QN4?t=1330 * Buff Diglett Microtopics: * 471 very positive reviews. * Pizza Tower, the Tower of Pizza. * Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular. * Taking a drink of your Safeway brand Diet Cola Caffeine Free Soda. * Bouncy the Rat and her friends in the Wild Wood. * Providing a platform for people to talk to each other and learn about boundaries. * Why to add numbers together. * Teaching children math when everyone has a pocket calculator in their pocket at all times. * A peek under the curtain. * The edutainment classics. * Three D&D combat system as a way to get comfortable doing arithmetic in your head. * Providing an experiential experience. * A tiny video game console that looks like a Sega Genesis. * Trying to sex Flicky. * Maximizing your combo chain in Flicky. * Sonic 3D Blast as a sequel to Flicky. * Super Rub-a-Dub. * Flicking the controller to make the rubber ducky jump. * A dude collecting dudes who follow you in a trail. * Pix the Cat. * All the Bubble Bobble sequels, none of which use the bubbling mechanic. * Rainbow Islands: Towering Adventure. * Whip Whip: the word "whip" twice. * The Etch-a-Sketch: a terrible toy for terrible people. * Making animations that are perhaps five or six frames long. * Controlling with the knobbies. * The Magic Touch Pad. * A button that says "recall" on it. * Putt-Nuts Go to the Moon, featuring Alan Shepard. * Plugging your Etch-a-Sketch into your VCR to save your art. * The powder leaking out of the Etch-a-Sketch because you used it too much. * It's like painting but on a TV but worse than regular painting. * 2000 gray squares. * The poet laureate of children. * The golden age of the CD-ROM. * Wanting a tomato to be bigger. * The Tomato Centipede. * Poems about homework. * A mole-type Pokemon. * Everybody independently coming to the conclusion that Diglett has a muscular human body down there. * Buff kittens. * Whether Dugtrio has one muscular human body down there, or three. * Three human bodybuilders cosplaying as Dugtrio. * Trying to search for "naked diglett" but Google autocorrects you to "naked woman" * Space Dentist!! * That one dentist out of ten who recommends that you go to space. * Organizing your video game garbo. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Hallie
  • John B

Topics:

  • Tabletop RPGs as educational platform
  • Flicky-likes
  • Etch A Sketch Animator 2000
  • Poem: "My Brother's Head Should Be Replaced" by Jack Prelutsky
  • Buff Diglett

Microtopics:

  • 471 very positive reviews.
  • Pizza Tower, the Tower of Pizza.
  • Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular.
  • Taking a drink of your Safeway brand Diet Cola Caffeine Free Soda.
  • Bouncy the Rat and her friends in the Wild Wood.
  • Providing a platform for people to talk to each other and learn about boundaries.
  • Why to add numbers together.
  • Teaching children math when everyone has a pocket calculator in their pocket at all times.
  • A peek under the curtain.
  • The edutainment classics.
  • Three D&D combat system as a way to get comfortable doing arithmetic in your head.
  • Providing an experiential experience.
  • A tiny video game console that looks like a Sega Genesis.
  • Trying to sex Flicky.
  • Maximizing your combo chain in Flicky.
  • Sonic 3D Blast as a sequel to Flicky.
  • Super Rub-a-Dub.
  • Flicking the controller to make the rubber ducky jump.
  • A dude collecting dudes who follow you in a trail.
  • Pix the Cat.
  • All the Bubble Bobble sequels, none of which use the bubbling mechanic.
  • Rainbow Islands: Towering Adventure.
  • Whip Whip: the word "whip" twice.
  • The Etch-a-Sketch: a terrible toy for terrible people.
  • Making animations that are perhaps five or six frames long.
  • Controlling with the knobbies.
  • The Magic Touch Pad.
  • A button that says "recall" on it.
  • Putt-Nuts Go to the Moon, featuring Alan Shepard.
  • Plugging your Etch-a-Sketch into your VCR to save your art.
  • The powder leaking out of the Etch-a-Sketch because you used it too much.
  • It's like painting but on a TV but worse than regular painting.
  • 2000 gray squares.
  • The poet laureate of children.
  • The golden age of the CD-ROM.
  • Wanting a tomato to be bigger.
  • The Tomato Centipede.
  • Poems about homework.
  • A mole-type Pokemon.
  • Everybody independently coming to the conclusion that Diglett has a muscular human body down there.
  • Buff kittens.
  • Whether Dugtrio has one muscular human body down there, or three.
  • Three human bodybuilders cosplaying as Dugtrio.
  • Trying to search for "naked diglett" but Google autocorrects you to "naked woman"
  • Space Dentist!!
  • That one dentist out of ten who recommends that you go to space.
  • Organizing your video game garbo.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Hallie
  • John B

Topics:

  • Tabletop RPGs as educational platform
  • Flicky-likes
  • Etch A Sketch Animator 2000
  • Poem: "My Brother's Head Should Be Replaced" by Jack Prelutsky
  • Buff Diglett

Microtopics:

  • 471 very positive reviews.
  • Pizza Tower, the Tower of Pizza.
  • Snoopy's Silly Sports Spectacular.
  • Taking a drink of your Safeway brand Diet Cola Caffeine Free Soda.
  • Bouncy the Rat and her friends in the Wild Wood.
  • Providing a platform for people to talk to each other and learn about boundaries.
  • Why to add numbers together.
  • Teaching children math when everyone has a pocket calculator in their pocket at all times.
  • A peek under the curtain.
  • The edutainment classics.
  • Three D&D combat system as a way to get comfortable doing arithmetic in your head.
  • Providing an experiential experience.
  • A tiny video game console that looks like a Sega Genesis.
  • Trying to sex Flicky.
  • Maximizing your combo chain in Flicky.
  • Sonic 3D Blast as a sequel to Flicky.
  • Super Rub-a-Dub.
  • Flicking the controller to make the rubber ducky jump.
  • A dude collecting dudes who follow you in a trail.
  • Pix the Cat.
  • All the Bubble Bobble sequels, none of which use the bubbling mechanic.
  • Rainbow Islands: Towering Adventure.
  • Whip Whip: the word "whip" twice.
  • The Etch-a-Sketch: a terrible toy for terrible people.
  • Making animations that are perhaps five or six frames long.
  • Controlling with the knobbies.
  • The Magic Touch Pad.
  • A button that says "recall" on it.
  • Putt-Nuts Go to the Moon, featuring Alan Shepard.
  • Plugging your Etch-a-Sketch into your VCR to save your art.
  • The powder leaking out of the Etch-a-Sketch because you used it too much.
  • It's like painting but on a TV but worse than regular painting.
  • 2000 gray squares.
  • The poet laureate of children.
  • The golden age of the CD-ROM.
  • Wanting a tomato to be bigger.
  • The Tomato Centipede.
  • Poems about homework.
  • A mole-type Pokemon.
  • Everybody independently coming to the conclusion that Diglett has a muscular human body down there.
  • Buff kittens.
  • Whether Dugtrio has one muscular human body down there, or three.
  • Three human bodybuilders cosplaying as Dugtrio.
  • Trying to search for "naked diglett" but Google autocorrects you to "naked woman"
  • Space Dentist!!
  • That one dentist out of ten who recommends that you go to space.
  • Organizing your video game garbo.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 145. A Visceral Tobacco Consumption Experience https://topiclords.com/a-visceral-tobacco-consumption-experience 96cff35e-7878-4fc3-9cc0-4a5a68dc7b3b Mon, 01 Aug 2022 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Hallie and John. We discuss finding value in shared imagined spaces and worlds outside of religious contexts, final Fantasy Challenge: Zero Story; and other vaporware games & mods of which no record exists on the internet, streaming movies on Youtube, and Canterbury Tales General Prologue, by Geoffrey Chaucer. 1:00:54 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * https://twitter.com/Hallie_9000/ * John * https://twitter.com/robohunkx Topics: * Finding value in shared imagined spaces and worlds outside of religious contexts * Final Fantasy Challenge: Zero Story; and other vaporware games & mods of which no record exists on the internet * Youtube streams movies now, and they have comments * Canterbury Tales General Prologue, by Geoffrey Chaucer * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43926/the-canterbury-tales-general-prologue Microtopics: * The Ten Timers Club. * Podcasting for three years straight. * Fantastical ideas for famous bands covering Garages songs. * An increasingly hard to describe person. * Reclaiming the asshole. * The sort of thing that sometimes happens in Maine. * Finding the right microphone settings. * A podcast about what people think about that ends up being a video game podcast because that's what they're thinking about. * The barnacle on the indie game scene life. * Making a video game good on purpose. * Talking to your friends who talk you out of grad school because you need to be talked out of grad school again * Your own personal relationship with the divine. * Shared imagined worlds and how we talk about them. * Your friend asks how you're doing and you say "Han and Leia at the end of Empire" and your friend just nods. * Fighting a great beast together. * Promoting group cohesion by developing a shared frame of reference. * How in the 70s everyone watched the same three TV channels but nowadays everyone has access to all of every form of media all the time, and whether that's a handicap for developing a shared cultural reference frame. * Waxy potatoes vs. starchy potatoes. * Where to find non-starchy potatoes. * Harry Potter and the Sacred Texts. * The act of interpretation and the creation of shared symbols. * A Final Fantasy mod that you were very excited about in the early 00s but that now has no results on google. * Abraham Lincoln Land vanishing from the internet. * All the bad video games starring Tux. * Your boss saying "let me show you how the Peter Principle works" and promoting you to Project Manager. * Erasing the projects you are ashamed of from your personal web site. * Adding a clause to your will about deleting all your novelty web sites. * A web site where you write a bunch of fake reviews of fake bands and eventually start writing the songs yourself. * Mutually executable languages. * A betrayal of both movies and Youtube. * Commenting with a timestamp of your favorite part of Napoleon Dynamite. * Whether Pedro won the election on his own merits. * Creating an audition tape for the musical extravaganza your employer is running, getting the part, and later finding out that you were the only one who applied. * Whether John will ever release the video of him dancing like Napoleon Dynamite. * An entire stanza of completely unintelligible Middle English. * Wanting to go on pilgrimages to seek the Holy Blissful Martyr because spring is coming. * Pronouncing all the silent letters. * A well-SparkesNotes'd text. * Having a poem memorized but not in order. * How wishing someone a happy birthday before their birthday is illegal in Germany. * The least surfer dude. * Various tobacco saliva receptacles, some of which ding and some of which don't. * Chewing tobacco but not having the self-respect to get a spittoon. * The nicotine delivery method where you stick a tobacco blob under your lip like a walrus tusk and make TikTok videos. * Dip a.k.a. Snus. * A cool friend from Tennessee. * Big League Chew, again. * Asking the clerk for tar patches because nicotine patches don't give you melanoma. * Ending the show early because you believe so vehemently that vaping is good for you. * A pithy German word for having guested on Topic Lords ten times. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The Ten Timers Club.
  • Podcasting for three years straight.
  • Fantastical ideas for famous bands covering Garages songs.
  • An increasingly hard to describe person.
  • Reclaiming the asshole.
  • The sort of thing that sometimes happens in Maine.
  • Finding the right microphone settings.
  • A podcast about what people think about that ends up being a video game podcast because that's what they're thinking about.
  • The barnacle on the indie game scene life.
  • Making a video game good on purpose.
  • Talking to your friends who talk you out of grad school because you need to be talked out of grad school again
  • Your own personal relationship with the divine.
  • Shared imagined worlds and how we talk about them.
  • Your friend asks how you're doing and you say "Han and Leia at the end of Empire" and your friend just nods.
  • Fighting a great beast together.
  • Promoting group cohesion by developing a shared frame of reference.
  • How in the 70s everyone watched the same three TV channels but nowadays everyone has access to all of every form of media all the time, and whether that's a handicap for developing a shared cultural reference frame.
  • Waxy potatoes vs. starchy potatoes.
  • Where to find non-starchy potatoes.
  • Harry Potter and the Sacred Texts.
  • The act of interpretation and the creation of shared symbols.
  • A Final Fantasy mod that you were very excited about in the early 00s but that now has no results on google.
  • Abraham Lincoln Land vanishing from the internet.
  • All the bad video games starring Tux.
  • Your boss saying "let me show you how the Peter Principle works" and promoting you to Project Manager.
  • Erasing the projects you are ashamed of from your personal web site.
  • Adding a clause to your will about deleting all your novelty web sites.
  • A web site where you write a bunch of fake reviews of fake bands and eventually start writing the songs yourself.
  • Mutually executable languages.
  • A betrayal of both movies and Youtube.
  • Commenting with a timestamp of your favorite part of Napoleon Dynamite.
  • Whether Pedro won the election on his own merits.
  • Creating an audition tape for the musical extravaganza your employer is running, getting the part, and later finding out that you were the only one who applied.
  • Whether John will ever release the video of him dancing like Napoleon Dynamite.
  • An entire stanza of completely unintelligible Middle English.
  • Wanting to go on pilgrimages to seek the Holy Blissful Martyr because spring is coming.
  • Pronouncing all the silent letters.
  • A well-SparkesNotes'd text.
  • Having a poem memorized but not in order.
  • How wishing someone a happy birthday before their birthday is illegal in Germany.
  • The least surfer dude.
  • Various tobacco saliva receptacles, some of which ding and some of which don't.
  • Chewing tobacco but not having the self-respect to get a spittoon.
  • The nicotine delivery method where you stick a tobacco blob under your lip like a walrus tusk and make TikTok videos.
  • Dip a.k.a. Snus.
  • A cool friend from Tennessee.
  • Big League Chew, again.
  • Asking the clerk for tar patches because nicotine patches don't give you melanoma.
  • Ending the show early because you believe so vehemently that vaping is good for you.
  • A pithy German word for having guested on Topic Lords ten times.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • The Ten Timers Club.
  • Podcasting for three years straight.
  • Fantastical ideas for famous bands covering Garages songs.
  • An increasingly hard to describe person.
  • Reclaiming the asshole.
  • The sort of thing that sometimes happens in Maine.
  • Finding the right microphone settings.
  • A podcast about what people think about that ends up being a video game podcast because that's what they're thinking about.
  • The barnacle on the indie game scene life.
  • Making a video game good on purpose.
  • Talking to your friends who talk you out of grad school because you need to be talked out of grad school again
  • Your own personal relationship with the divine.
  • Shared imagined worlds and how we talk about them.
  • Your friend asks how you're doing and you say "Han and Leia at the end of Empire" and your friend just nods.
  • Fighting a great beast together.
  • Promoting group cohesion by developing a shared frame of reference.
  • How in the 70s everyone watched the same three TV channels but nowadays everyone has access to all of every form of media all the time, and whether that's a handicap for developing a shared cultural reference frame.
  • Waxy potatoes vs. starchy potatoes.
  • Where to find non-starchy potatoes.
  • Harry Potter and the Sacred Texts.
  • The act of interpretation and the creation of shared symbols.
  • A Final Fantasy mod that you were very excited about in the early 00s but that now has no results on google.
  • Abraham Lincoln Land vanishing from the internet.
  • All the bad video games starring Tux.
  • Your boss saying "let me show you how the Peter Principle works" and promoting you to Project Manager.
  • Erasing the projects you are ashamed of from your personal web site.
  • Adding a clause to your will about deleting all your novelty web sites.
  • A web site where you write a bunch of fake reviews of fake bands and eventually start writing the songs yourself.
  • Mutually executable languages.
  • A betrayal of both movies and Youtube.
  • Commenting with a timestamp of your favorite part of Napoleon Dynamite.
  • Whether Pedro won the election on his own merits.
  • Creating an audition tape for the musical extravaganza your employer is running, getting the part, and later finding out that you were the only one who applied.
  • Whether John will ever release the video of him dancing like Napoleon Dynamite.
  • An entire stanza of completely unintelligible Middle English.
  • Wanting to go on pilgrimages to seek the Holy Blissful Martyr because spring is coming.
  • Pronouncing all the silent letters.
  • A well-SparkesNotes'd text.
  • Having a poem memorized but not in order.
  • How wishing someone a happy birthday before their birthday is illegal in Germany.
  • The least surfer dude.
  • Various tobacco saliva receptacles, some of which ding and some of which don't.
  • Chewing tobacco but not having the self-respect to get a spittoon.
  • The nicotine delivery method where you stick a tobacco blob under your lip like a walrus tusk and make TikTok videos.
  • Dip a.k.a. Snus.
  • A cool friend from Tennessee.
  • Big League Chew, again.
  • Asking the clerk for tar patches because nicotine patches don't give you melanoma.
  • Ending the show early because you believe so vehemently that vaping is good for you.
  • A pithy German word for having guested on Topic Lords ten times.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 123. Go Up, You Bald Head! https://topiclords.com/go-up-you-bald-head 501e1b89-c9e7-4b41-9c9a-b325cc8a197d Mon, 28 Feb 2022 00:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: Hallie and Chris. We discuss playing card finishes, how we'd talk about religion and faith if those words didn't exist, Good Bones by Maggie Smith, and hair mayonnaise. 1:03:15 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * https://twitter.com/Hallie_9000/ * https://twitter.com/watchyourrass * https://twitter.com/HouseRulesCast * Chris Topics: * Playing card finishes * Esper Quinn adds: "As a decades long Magic: the Gathering player, card condition, handling and protection is something I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about. There's a guy on YouTube whose whole claim to fame is that every couple months he reviews every new sleeve (both inner and outer, for double sleeving), deck protector, carrying case, binder, etc. for card protection. Magic cardstock has actually remained consistent since 1993, though inks and printing techniques have shifted a lot over the years. In fact, new foil cards are way worse than old foils; for some reason, they tend to curl the card if not kept in a 100% humidity free environment. The curling can get so bad that sometimes judges won't allow them to be played in tournaments, since they count as marked cards!" * If the words religion and faith didn't exist, how would we talk about them? * Good Bones, by Maggie Smith * https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/89897/good-bone * Homemade hair conditioner / masque is basically mayo Microtopics: * Ripe and ready topics. * Making guests record their own obituary in case they die between when an episode is recorded and when it's released. * Watching Your Rass. * A podcast about people who form their identities around games, specifically Cribbage. * The Slim-Line B-7 "True Linen" Finish. * Switching out topics on the fly. * Practicing a magic trick in front of a mirror and fooling yourself. * Positive feedback loops. * Curling -- The Thing Noodles Do. * The benefits of cheap hobbies. * A Clarke Sweetone with a conical bore. * Bicycle Backs. * How quickly you wear out a deck of playing cards when learning close-up magic. * The most interesting card finishes. * Cardistry. * The Bicycle Air-Cushion finish vs. the Cartamundi True Linen finish. * E-llusionist Magic Supplies. * The best brand of cards to do the Faro shuffle with. * Two pieces of paper surrounding a cardboard core and enveloped in a plastic finish. * Peeling apart playing cards and finding a tiny map of Germany. * Something that comes from how people are. * Going to Blorp every Sunday morning. * Students with different educational needs. * Wanting to participate in a group that sets the rules but feeling really strongly that you shouldn't follow one particular rule. * Doing a lot of moderating of teen forums. * Conceiving of religions as fandoms of book series. * Being a super fan of someone who spoke out against elevating individuals above their individual experiences. * Eliezer Yudkowsky's Dune. * Scientist clergymen exploring the world. * The fossils of the language that we speak. * Dictionaries as the chalk outline around language's corpse. * Disney buying the Star Wars franchise as a metaphor for the Roman empire converting to Christianity. * Christianity before it was cool. * Talking dogs. * Comic book puppy trash acts. * The story from Kings where children make fun of a man's bald head and the man prays to God for help who sends bears to maul the children. * Being surrounded by hundreds of children making fun of your bald head. * Things that you thought were good but if there are ways they can be bad you want to hear about them. * Selling the world to your child. * Having a world view and having to learn to live with it. * Stones Georg. * Presenting the world's best self to your child. * Which end of the cow is the milk end. * The gestalt of a cow, which moos and creates milk. * Writing a poem live on the air by saying "dah" whenever you can't think of another word. * What happens if you shampoo but don't condition your hair. * The FBI coming to your apartment to arrest the free radicals making your hair frizzy. * Dropping mustard from your hair care routine because your head smells too much like a sandwich now. * Putting bean water on your head. * Hairdini. * The guests you can't find on Topic Lords. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • Playing card finishes
  • Esper Quinn adds: "As a decades long Magic: the Gathering player, card condition, handling and protection is something I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about. There's a guy on YouTube whose whole claim to fame is that every couple months he reviews every new sleeve (both inner and outer, for double sleeving), deck protector, carrying case, binder, etc. for card protection. Magic cardstock has actually remained consistent since 1993, though inks and printing techniques have shifted a lot over the years. In fact, new foil cards are way worse than old foils; for some reason, they tend to curl the card if not kept in a 100% humidity free environment. The curling can get so bad that sometimes judges won't allow them to be played in tournaments, since they count as marked cards!"
  • If the words religion and faith didn't exist, how would we talk about them?
  • Good Bones, by Maggie Smith
  • Homemade hair conditioner / masque is basically mayo

Microtopics:

  • Ripe and ready topics.
  • Making guests record their own obituary in case they die between when an episode is recorded and when it's released.
  • Watching Your Rass.
  • A podcast about people who form their identities around games, specifically Cribbage.
  • The Slim-Line B-7 "True Linen" Finish.
  • Switching out topics on the fly.
  • Practicing a magic trick in front of a mirror and fooling yourself.
  • Positive feedback loops.
  • Curling -- The Thing Noodles Do.
  • The benefits of cheap hobbies.
  • A Clarke Sweetone with a conical bore.
  • Bicycle Backs.
  • How quickly you wear out a deck of playing cards when learning close-up magic.
  • The most interesting card finishes.
  • Cardistry.
  • The Bicycle Air-Cushion finish vs. the Cartamundi True Linen finish.
  • E-llusionist Magic Supplies.
  • The best brand of cards to do the Faro shuffle with.
  • Two pieces of paper surrounding a cardboard core and enveloped in a plastic finish.
  • Peeling apart playing cards and finding a tiny map of Germany.
  • Something that comes from how people are.
  • Going to Blorp every Sunday morning.
  • Students with different educational needs.
  • Wanting to participate in a group that sets the rules but feeling really strongly that you shouldn't follow one particular rule.
  • Doing a lot of moderating of teen forums.
  • Conceiving of religions as fandoms of book series.
  • Being a super fan of someone who spoke out against elevating individuals above their individual experiences.
  • Eliezer Yudkowsky's Dune.
  • Scientist clergymen exploring the world.
  • The fossils of the language that we speak.
  • Dictionaries as the chalk outline around language's corpse.
  • Disney buying the Star Wars franchise as a metaphor for the Roman empire converting to Christianity.
  • Christianity before it was cool.
  • Talking dogs.
  • Comic book puppy trash acts.
  • The story from Kings where children make fun of a man's bald head and the man prays to God for help who sends bears to maul the children.
  • Being surrounded by hundreds of children making fun of your bald head.
  • Things that you thought were good but if there are ways they can be bad you want to hear about them.
  • Selling the world to your child.
  • Having a world view and having to learn to live with it.
  • Stones Georg.
  • Presenting the world's best self to your child.
  • Which end of the cow is the milk end.
  • The gestalt of a cow, which moos and creates milk.
  • Writing a poem live on the air by saying "dah" whenever you can't think of another word.
  • What happens if you shampoo but don't condition your hair.
  • The FBI coming to your apartment to arrest the free radicals making your hair frizzy.
  • Dropping mustard from your hair care routine because your head smells too much like a sandwich now.
  • Putting bean water on your head.
  • Hairdini.
  • The guests you can't find on Topic Lords.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • Playing card finishes
  • Esper Quinn adds: "As a decades long Magic: the Gathering player, card condition, handling and protection is something I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about. There's a guy on YouTube whose whole claim to fame is that every couple months he reviews every new sleeve (both inner and outer, for double sleeving), deck protector, carrying case, binder, etc. for card protection. Magic cardstock has actually remained consistent since 1993, though inks and printing techniques have shifted a lot over the years. In fact, new foil cards are way worse than old foils; for some reason, they tend to curl the card if not kept in a 100% humidity free environment. The curling can get so bad that sometimes judges won't allow them to be played in tournaments, since they count as marked cards!"
  • If the words religion and faith didn't exist, how would we talk about them?
  • Good Bones, by Maggie Smith
  • Homemade hair conditioner / masque is basically mayo

Microtopics:

  • Ripe and ready topics.
  • Making guests record their own obituary in case they die between when an episode is recorded and when it's released.
  • Watching Your Rass.
  • A podcast about people who form their identities around games, specifically Cribbage.
  • The Slim-Line B-7 "True Linen" Finish.
  • Switching out topics on the fly.
  • Practicing a magic trick in front of a mirror and fooling yourself.
  • Positive feedback loops.
  • Curling -- The Thing Noodles Do.
  • The benefits of cheap hobbies.
  • A Clarke Sweetone with a conical bore.
  • Bicycle Backs.
  • How quickly you wear out a deck of playing cards when learning close-up magic.
  • The most interesting card finishes.
  • Cardistry.
  • The Bicycle Air-Cushion finish vs. the Cartamundi True Linen finish.
  • E-llusionist Magic Supplies.
  • The best brand of cards to do the Faro shuffle with.
  • Two pieces of paper surrounding a cardboard core and enveloped in a plastic finish.
  • Peeling apart playing cards and finding a tiny map of Germany.
  • Something that comes from how people are.
  • Going to Blorp every Sunday morning.
  • Students with different educational needs.
  • Wanting to participate in a group that sets the rules but feeling really strongly that you shouldn't follow one particular rule.
  • Doing a lot of moderating of teen forums.
  • Conceiving of religions as fandoms of book series.
  • Being a super fan of someone who spoke out against elevating individuals above their individual experiences.
  • Eliezer Yudkowsky's Dune.
  • Scientist clergymen exploring the world.
  • The fossils of the language that we speak.
  • Dictionaries as the chalk outline around language's corpse.
  • Disney buying the Star Wars franchise as a metaphor for the Roman empire converting to Christianity.
  • Christianity before it was cool.
  • Talking dogs.
  • Comic book puppy trash acts.
  • The story from Kings where children make fun of a man's bald head and the man prays to God for help who sends bears to maul the children.
  • Being surrounded by hundreds of children making fun of your bald head.
  • Things that you thought were good but if there are ways they can be bad you want to hear about them.
  • Selling the world to your child.
  • Having a world view and having to learn to live with it.
  • Stones Georg.
  • Presenting the world's best self to your child.
  • Which end of the cow is the milk end.
  • The gestalt of a cow, which moos and creates milk.
  • Writing a poem live on the air by saying "dah" whenever you can't think of another word.
  • What happens if you shampoo but don't condition your hair.
  • The FBI coming to your apartment to arrest the free radicals making your hair frizzy.
  • Dropping mustard from your hair care routine because your head smells too much like a sandwich now.
  • Putting bean water on your head.
  • Hairdini.
  • The guests you can't find on Topic Lords.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 98. That's Content, Baby! https://topiclords.com/thats-content-baby ffa28451-2dcf-4a62-8934-94975fe4e629 Mon, 06 Sep 2021 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Hallie and Christine. We discuss where you lost your glasses, nighttime as the time of abstract possibility and imagination, this huge tub of homemade toum, Turn Down For What, and modern TV re-discovering the episodic format. 1:02:58 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * https://twitter.com/hallie_9000 * Christine * http://thechrischerry.com * https://twitter.com/chriscereza Topics: * Where are my glasses? * Nighttime is the time of abstract possibility and imagination because the world is gone. * This huge tub of homemade toum * Turn Down For What * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU * Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/Q9oXE3ibmmM * Modern TV re-discovering the episodic format Microtopics: * Mining the pre-show banter for a clip. * Dreaming of producing content every second of your life. * Getting hooked up to the content matrix and spewing content out of every orifice. * Burnt Notice. * Watercresstine. * Looking upon Burn Notice as your weird uncle who lives in your basement. * A podcast about discussing episodes of a podcast discussing episodes of Burn Notice. * Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa you keep the money. * Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa, it goes to getting Doctor Who back on the air. * We Are The Timelords. * Doctor In Distress. * Needing to stop making a podcast before your listeners can beg you to come back. * How locals pronounce "Los Angeles." * Not knowing how to look for your glasses in an apartment because your normally live in a farmhouse. * How nobody in LA owns more than one chair. * Whether Hallie's glasses were in the fridge. * Posting photos of your apartment to the internet so people can help you find your glasses. * Whether Winston answers the phone at a Korean BBQ restaurant in LA. * Being awake during the day: terrible. * The most concrete time of day. * Going to preschool and answering phones for a Korean barbecue restaurant until daddy picks you up at 4. * Loving 2am but being in bed by 9:30pm. * Like a tree but shorter, louder with stickier hands. * No responsibility except what you make for yourself. * An emulsion like mayonnaise except instead of tasting like mayonnaise it tastes like garlic. * Vampires hating garlic because they don't like the taste. * Whether you can have the vampire gene but not be a vampire. * Vampirism as a collection of traits that often manifest together, and you're only diagnosed with vampirism if these traits interfere with your ability to do your job. * How many marshmallows go in fudge. * Converting from marshmallows when the recipe calls for mini marshmallows. * Using marshmallows as bait to catch God when everyone knows God hates marshmallows. * Videos that love to start with a black screen that goes on a little too long when you're watching at one quarter speed. * A man in a blue hoodie jiggling as something is taking him over. * Shattering furniture with the power of your raw sexuality. * The Scully stand-in who is extremely skeptical about how horny this guy is. * St. Vitus' Dry Hump. * Could I be a fish doing push-ups? * Whether there is a Hitmonchan in this bra, and whether it's evolving, and whether we should push B. * The relief of consuming media and not feeling the need to form any reaction whatsoever. * Spiking the punch with LSD. * A cop whose face melts because he doesn't know what you'd turn down for. * Contracting a bad case of Original Sin and being very angry about it. * A straight man who stole Elton John's sunglasses. * Whether DJ Snake looks like a douchebag or just looks French. * Characters who grow hornier and hornier as over the course of eight seasons. * The 1943 Watchmen TV series. * The Veronica Mars model of serialization. * Whether the Columbo renaissance implies a Murder She Wrote renaissance. * Whether that's content, baby. * A character in a romantic comedy who makes web sites for everyone but who can't make a web site for herself. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Mining the pre-show banter for a clip.
  • Dreaming of producing content every second of your life.
  • Getting hooked up to the content matrix and spewing content out of every orifice.
  • Burnt Notice.
  • Watercresstine.
  • Looking upon Burn Notice as your weird uncle who lives in your basement.
  • A podcast about discussing episodes of a podcast discussing episodes of Burn Notice.
  • Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa you keep the money.
  • Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa, it goes to getting Doctor Who back on the air.
  • We Are The Timelords.
  • Doctor In Distress.
  • Needing to stop making a podcast before your listeners can beg you to come back.
  • How locals pronounce "Los Angeles."
  • Not knowing how to look for your glasses in an apartment because your normally live in a farmhouse.
  • How nobody in LA owns more than one chair.
  • Whether Hallie's glasses were in the fridge.
  • Posting photos of your apartment to the internet so people can help you find your glasses.
  • Whether Winston answers the phone at a Korean BBQ restaurant in LA.
  • Being awake during the day: terrible.
  • The most concrete time of day.
  • Going to preschool and answering phones for a Korean barbecue restaurant until daddy picks you up at 4.
  • Loving 2am but being in bed by 9:30pm.
  • Like a tree but shorter, louder with stickier hands.
  • No responsibility except what you make for yourself.
  • An emulsion like mayonnaise except instead of tasting like mayonnaise it tastes like garlic.
  • Vampires hating garlic because they don't like the taste.
  • Whether you can have the vampire gene but not be a vampire.
  • Vampirism as a collection of traits that often manifest together, and you're only diagnosed with vampirism if these traits interfere with your ability to do your job.
  • How many marshmallows go in fudge.
  • Converting from marshmallows when the recipe calls for mini marshmallows.
  • Using marshmallows as bait to catch God when everyone knows God hates marshmallows.
  • Videos that love to start with a black screen that goes on a little too long when you're watching at one quarter speed.
  • A man in a blue hoodie jiggling as something is taking him over.
  • Shattering furniture with the power of your raw sexuality.
  • The Scully stand-in who is extremely skeptical about how horny this guy is.
  • St. Vitus' Dry Hump.
  • Could I be a fish doing push-ups?
  • Whether there is a Hitmonchan in this bra, and whether it's evolving, and whether we should push B.
  • The relief of consuming media and not feeling the need to form any reaction whatsoever.
  • Spiking the punch with LSD.
  • A cop whose face melts because he doesn't know what you'd turn down for.
  • Contracting a bad case of Original Sin and being very angry about it.
  • A straight man who stole Elton John's sunglasses.
  • Whether DJ Snake looks like a douchebag or just looks French.
  • Characters who grow hornier and hornier as over the course of eight seasons.
  • The 1943 Watchmen TV series.
  • The Veronica Mars model of serialization.
  • Whether the Columbo renaissance implies a Murder She Wrote renaissance.
  • Whether that's content, baby.
  • A character in a romantic comedy who makes web sites for everyone but who can't make a web site for herself.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Mining the pre-show banter for a clip.
  • Dreaming of producing content every second of your life.
  • Getting hooked up to the content matrix and spewing content out of every orifice.
  • Burnt Notice.
  • Watercresstine.
  • Looking upon Burn Notice as your weird uncle who lives in your basement.
  • A podcast about discussing episodes of a podcast discussing episodes of Burn Notice.
  • Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa you keep the money.
  • Recording a song in the style of We Are The World except instead of the proceeds going to help children in Africa, it goes to getting Doctor Who back on the air.
  • We Are The Timelords.
  • Doctor In Distress.
  • Needing to stop making a podcast before your listeners can beg you to come back.
  • How locals pronounce "Los Angeles."
  • Not knowing how to look for your glasses in an apartment because your normally live in a farmhouse.
  • How nobody in LA owns more than one chair.
  • Whether Hallie's glasses were in the fridge.
  • Posting photos of your apartment to the internet so people can help you find your glasses.
  • Whether Winston answers the phone at a Korean BBQ restaurant in LA.
  • Being awake during the day: terrible.
  • The most concrete time of day.
  • Going to preschool and answering phones for a Korean barbecue restaurant until daddy picks you up at 4.
  • Loving 2am but being in bed by 9:30pm.
  • Like a tree but shorter, louder with stickier hands.
  • No responsibility except what you make for yourself.
  • An emulsion like mayonnaise except instead of tasting like mayonnaise it tastes like garlic.
  • Vampires hating garlic because they don't like the taste.
  • Whether you can have the vampire gene but not be a vampire.
  • Vampirism as a collection of traits that often manifest together, and you're only diagnosed with vampirism if these traits interfere with your ability to do your job.
  • How many marshmallows go in fudge.
  • Converting from marshmallows when the recipe calls for mini marshmallows.
  • Using marshmallows as bait to catch God when everyone knows God hates marshmallows.
  • Videos that love to start with a black screen that goes on a little too long when you're watching at one quarter speed.
  • A man in a blue hoodie jiggling as something is taking him over.
  • Shattering furniture with the power of your raw sexuality.
  • The Scully stand-in who is extremely skeptical about how horny this guy is.
  • St. Vitus' Dry Hump.
  • Could I be a fish doing push-ups?
  • Whether there is a Hitmonchan in this bra, and whether it's evolving, and whether we should push B.
  • The relief of consuming media and not feeling the need to form any reaction whatsoever.
  • Spiking the punch with LSD.
  • A cop whose face melts because he doesn't know what you'd turn down for.
  • Contracting a bad case of Original Sin and being very angry about it.
  • A straight man who stole Elton John's sunglasses.
  • Whether DJ Snake looks like a douchebag or just looks French.
  • Characters who grow hornier and hornier as over the course of eight seasons.
  • The 1943 Watchmen TV series.
  • The Veronica Mars model of serialization.
  • Whether the Columbo renaissance implies a Murder She Wrote renaissance.
  • Whether that's content, baby.
  • A character in a romantic comedy who makes web sites for everyone but who can't make a web site for herself.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 82. Breadless French Toast a la Dig Dug https://topiclords.com/breadless-french-toast-a-la-dig-dug 8b7743a3-4f56-4964-b2ac-e798f1d54bac Mon, 17 May 2021 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Chris and Hallie. We discuss Sylveon, savory French toast, briefcases, Detective Pikachu, and the ethics of making a robot daughter. 59:29 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * @hallie_9000 * Chris will find you. Topics: * The Pokemon Sylveon is supposed to be cute but it freaks me out and let me tell you why * Savory french toast. * Remember briefcases? People would just bring paperwork home with them. To work more, at home, for free. Fucked up, if you think about it. * Everytime we touch Detective Pikachu * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQyM2AU7nZo * https://youtu.be/YUWqaBiEs * The ethics of making a robot daughter * https://www.etsy.com/listing/955388068/long-furby-custom-plush * https://www.etsy.com/listing/912086346/3-ft-long-furby-purple-fur-customizable * https://www.google.com/search?q=furby+sylveon&tbm=isch * https://www.etsy.com/listing/951517045/custom-furby-oddbody-long-furby-alien Microtopics: * Whether it's possible to do Soupertasters remotely. * What show this even is. * Never watching the best episode of a show because if you do the rest will be worse than that. * A game where you explore a tavern and then the game ends. * History littered with the corpses of couch-co-op-only games. * A hypothetical podcast about the dark history of cribbage. * The best vertically scrolling shooter set on British colonial Mars. * Adding faeries to rebalance the meta which has been overrun by dragons. * A little quadruped with features. * Ribbon-like feelers that make you drop your guard. * OG European fairies who steal children and leave rusty nails in their place. * A cute fairy dog that will fuck your shit up when you're not looking vibe. * The mortifying ordeal of realizing that all the Pokemon who look like they're wearing clothes? That's actually their skin. * A Syveon swinging around Viridian City like Spider-Man, eating birds and avoiding cold iron. * Turkey-flavored bread. * Making a Monte Cristo with savory French toast. * A sweet omelette with a lot more bread than egg. * Breadless French toast. * Omelette a la Dig Dug. * Filling crepes. * Using eggs as glue for putting a bunch of yummies together. * Lobster burritos. * What briefcases are for. * A game where you've got a corgi and you've gotta get her somewhere to do stuff. * Bringing a knife to a briefcase fight. * Using briefcases to store underwear. * Whether you want to sit in the briefcase or boxercase section. * Asking president Clinton "boxers or briefs?" on a live Q&A. * An adorable chonky Pikachu. * Detective Pikachu turning out way better than it had any right to be. * Two and a half hours of Pikachu jazzercising. * Whether Pikachu is made of shiny plastic like in Pokemon Go or is furry like a mouse like in Detective Pikachu. * Hiring internet meme people to do concept art for your movie. * Pokemon MC Hammer's extremely baggy purple leg skin. * Realistic Homer Simpson and realistic Mario. * Diving straight into your uncanny valley reflex and poking it with a stick. * Doing an image search for "realistic Mr. Mime" and regretting it immediately. * Psychic stigmata. * Star Trek: The Next Generation and Frankenstein's conflicting takes on whether it's a good idea to construct an artificial person. * Trying to make a robot daughter but accidently making a murder bot. * Committing your kid to Git so you can roll back when they find out about the time you spent on 4chan. * Best practices for doing AI research without committing murder all the time. * The "bunch of delicious stuff in a pan plus eggs" approach to AI research vs. the "frittata" approach to AI research. * Observing and understanding the outcome of training a neural network and writing an ordinary program to do the same thing. * Agreement. * The alternate ending of Frankenstein where Dr. Frankenstein accidentally installs a baker's hand on the monster and it goes on a baking rampage using up all the flour in town. * To what degree parents can be held responsible for what their children do. * How it's okay to disown your parents but not your children. * A chatbot with servomotors in it. * A Furby molar. * A burden too great to bear alone. * A Furby living in a hollowed out tooth filled with corks. * Waking up next to a ceramic tooth with a face every morning. * Whether MAME has Furby support. * Douglas. * A Furby with baked beans instead of skin. * A Furby with teeth in the middle and it's not okay. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Hallie
    • @hallie_9000
  • Chris will find you.

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Whether it's possible to do Soupertasters remotely.
  • What show this even is.
  • Never watching the best episode of a show because if you do the rest will be worse than that.
  • A game where you explore a tavern and then the game ends.
  • History littered with the corpses of couch-co-op-only games.
  • A hypothetical podcast about the dark history of cribbage.
  • The best vertically scrolling shooter set on British colonial Mars.
  • Adding faeries to rebalance the meta which has been overrun by dragons.
  • A little quadruped with features.
  • Ribbon-like feelers that make you drop your guard.
  • OG European fairies who steal children and leave rusty nails in their place.
  • A cute fairy dog that will fuck your shit up when you're not looking vibe.
  • The mortifying ordeal of realizing that all the Pokemon who look like they're wearing clothes? That's actually their skin.
  • A Syveon swinging around Viridian City like Spider-Man, eating birds and avoiding cold iron.
  • Turkey-flavored bread.
  • Making a Monte Cristo with savory French toast.
  • A sweet omelette with a lot more bread than egg.
  • Breadless French toast.
  • Omelette a la Dig Dug.
  • Filling crepes.
  • Using eggs as glue for putting a bunch of yummies together.
  • Lobster burritos.
  • What briefcases are for.
  • A game where you've got a corgi and you've gotta get her somewhere to do stuff.
  • Bringing a knife to a briefcase fight.
  • Using briefcases to store underwear.
  • Whether you want to sit in the briefcase or boxercase section.
  • Asking president Clinton "boxers or briefs?" on a live Q&A.
  • An adorable chonky Pikachu.
  • Detective Pikachu turning out way better than it had any right to be.
  • Two and a half hours of Pikachu jazzercising.
  • Whether Pikachu is made of shiny plastic like in Pokemon Go or is furry like a mouse like in Detective Pikachu.
  • Hiring internet meme people to do concept art for your movie.
  • Pokemon MC Hammer's extremely baggy purple leg skin.
  • Realistic Homer Simpson and realistic Mario.
  • Diving straight into your uncanny valley reflex and poking it with a stick.
  • Doing an image search for "realistic Mr. Mime" and regretting it immediately.
  • Psychic stigmata.
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation and Frankenstein's conflicting takes on whether it's a good idea to construct an artificial person.
  • Trying to make a robot daughter but accidently making a murder bot.
  • Committing your kid to Git so you can roll back when they find out about the time you spent on 4chan.
  • Best practices for doing AI research without committing murder all the time.
  • The "bunch of delicious stuff in a pan plus eggs" approach to AI research vs. the "frittata" approach to AI research.
  • Observing and understanding the outcome of training a neural network and writing an ordinary program to do the same thing.
  • Agreement.
  • The alternate ending of Frankenstein where Dr. Frankenstein accidentally installs a baker's hand on the monster and it goes on a baking rampage using up all the flour in town.
  • To what degree parents can be held responsible for what their children do.
  • How it's okay to disown your parents but not your children.
  • A chatbot with servomotors in it.
  • A Furby molar.
  • A burden too great to bear alone.
  • A Furby living in a hollowed out tooth filled with corks.
  • Waking up next to a ceramic tooth with a face every morning.
  • Whether MAME has Furby support.
  • Douglas.
  • A Furby with baked beans instead of skin.
  • A Furby with teeth in the middle and it's not okay.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Hallie
    • @hallie_9000
  • Chris will find you.

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Whether it's possible to do Soupertasters remotely.
  • What show this even is.
  • Never watching the best episode of a show because if you do the rest will be worse than that.
  • A game where you explore a tavern and then the game ends.
  • History littered with the corpses of couch-co-op-only games.
  • A hypothetical podcast about the dark history of cribbage.
  • The best vertically scrolling shooter set on British colonial Mars.
  • Adding faeries to rebalance the meta which has been overrun by dragons.
  • A little quadruped with features.
  • Ribbon-like feelers that make you drop your guard.
  • OG European fairies who steal children and leave rusty nails in their place.
  • A cute fairy dog that will fuck your shit up when you're not looking vibe.
  • The mortifying ordeal of realizing that all the Pokemon who look like they're wearing clothes? That's actually their skin.
  • A Syveon swinging around Viridian City like Spider-Man, eating birds and avoiding cold iron.
  • Turkey-flavored bread.
  • Making a Monte Cristo with savory French toast.
  • A sweet omelette with a lot more bread than egg.
  • Breadless French toast.
  • Omelette a la Dig Dug.
  • Filling crepes.
  • Using eggs as glue for putting a bunch of yummies together.
  • Lobster burritos.
  • What briefcases are for.
  • A game where you've got a corgi and you've gotta get her somewhere to do stuff.
  • Bringing a knife to a briefcase fight.
  • Using briefcases to store underwear.
  • Whether you want to sit in the briefcase or boxercase section.
  • Asking president Clinton "boxers or briefs?" on a live Q&A.
  • An adorable chonky Pikachu.
  • Detective Pikachu turning out way better than it had any right to be.
  • Two and a half hours of Pikachu jazzercising.
  • Whether Pikachu is made of shiny plastic like in Pokemon Go or is furry like a mouse like in Detective Pikachu.
  • Hiring internet meme people to do concept art for your movie.
  • Pokemon MC Hammer's extremely baggy purple leg skin.
  • Realistic Homer Simpson and realistic Mario.
  • Diving straight into your uncanny valley reflex and poking it with a stick.
  • Doing an image search for "realistic Mr. Mime" and regretting it immediately.
  • Psychic stigmata.
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation and Frankenstein's conflicting takes on whether it's a good idea to construct an artificial person.
  • Trying to make a robot daughter but accidently making a murder bot.
  • Committing your kid to Git so you can roll back when they find out about the time you spent on 4chan.
  • Best practices for doing AI research without committing murder all the time.
  • The "bunch of delicious stuff in a pan plus eggs" approach to AI research vs. the "frittata" approach to AI research.
  • Observing and understanding the outcome of training a neural network and writing an ordinary program to do the same thing.
  • Agreement.
  • The alternate ending of Frankenstein where Dr. Frankenstein accidentally installs a baker's hand on the monster and it goes on a baking rampage using up all the flour in town.
  • To what degree parents can be held responsible for what their children do.
  • How it's okay to disown your parents but not your children.
  • A chatbot with servomotors in it.
  • A Furby molar.
  • A burden too great to bear alone.
  • A Furby living in a hollowed out tooth filled with corks.
  • Waking up next to a ceramic tooth with a face every morning.
  • Whether MAME has Furby support.
  • Douglas.
  • A Furby with baked beans instead of skin.
  • A Furby with teeth in the middle and it's not okay.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 69. Wave-Cat Duality https://topiclords.com/wave-cat-duality ed238cd6-5f21-4ed0-9591-f6f036f04fbc Mon, 15 Feb 2021 08:00:00 -0800 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords this week: Hallie and Jenni. We discuss tarot readings using meme templates, jellicle cats and the heaviside layer, Disney characters attending your funeral, lemonade candy, moose licking your car, jokes as motivation to learn, and unkomario and kintamario. 1:05:13 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Hallie * https://twitter.com/Hallie9000 * Jenni * jenni@jennipolodna.com * Riff and Jenni play Policenauts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnaryt7Vd-U&list=PLQqCGkS4_4ZgJEvjj31kQpY75-Pnmbul Topics: * Tarot readings using meme templates * In the musical Cats, jellicle cats ascend to the Heaviside Layer & come back reborn, therefore cats are radio waves, discuss * https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1382102/Now-Lloyd-Webber-puts-Eliots-dogs-to-music.html * Original twitter thread about platonic cats: https://twitter.com/chriscereza/status/1316118239785574400 * Why the Music In Cats Is Worse Than You Thought https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3aK-EK5V2k * Disney attending your funeral * http://magicalpassings.com/ * John asks "Country Time Lemonade lent their brand name to the best lemon candy I ever had which I discovered right about the time it was discontinued" * Why are you not supposed to let a moose lick your car, is it because their tongues will get stuck, how do you stop them * Jokes as motivation to learn * Unkomario and kintamario * https://i.imgur.com/83LapJQ.png * https://i.imgur.com/Vj3nsyW.png * 18-Volt squatting on a coin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJKFZVEKHYY Microtopics: * Whether this is going to be a fun episode or if it's going to crash and burn after two minutes. * Trying to eat a watermelon in December and nature punishing you for your hubris. * A tarot deck of memes. * Describing memes in an audio medium. * Arby's. * Getting ASMR live on the podcast. * The Deck of Old Memes. * Where the horsey sauce comes out. * Your Arby's cups with a radioactive ghost. * The Loss Spread. * Literary analysis of a work of art, except it's a roguelike. * Jellicle cats. * Making noises even if you have nothing to say. * Loving Cats unironically except for the fatphobic one. * Advertisements for the stage musical Cats making it seem like Les Miserables, a show you go to to cry for three hours. * Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat. * Fantasizing that the hipster guy at the moustache wax store is your boyfriend. * Platonic forms that have been banished to earth and must prove themselves sufficiently perfect to return to the realm of ideas. * Whether pollicle is a back formation from jellicle. * Never having met a pollicle dog, nor watched a fever dream of a movie where they sing to you. * The good content that you can't keep it together through. * Reinforcing Goofy's head so that it doesn't fall into the casket when he kisses the body. * Burying you with a solar powered mp3 player so that you can hear "It's A Small World" on loop for eternity. * Hiring someone to be you from the past so they can have it out with Goofy dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Future at your funeral. * Planning the Best Funeral Ever. * Whether Disney is willing to DMCA takedown your novelty Disney funeral. * Our Cyberpunk Future being cool as heck and also unimaginably awful, like Lovecraft. * Our Cool Cyberpunk Future, where there are cool things and terrible things, and the rich people have the cool things, and you can try to steal them from them. * To what degree we got our Dystopian Cyberpunk Future because Jeff Bezos loved Neuromancer and wanted to make it happen for real. * Hiring Hiro Protagonist from Snow Crash to come to your funeral and kiss you on the lips, and getting a Meme Virus that persists through your death. * Hiring Tron Guy to come to your funeral and kiss you on the list. * Refusing to let Tron Guy see Tron Legacy at your movie theater because Ernest Cline would just buy the theater immediately. * Pickle brine that tastes a lot like peppery lemonade. * The hierarchy of sour candies. * Sour candy marketing in the 90s proclaiming that "your mom hates these!" * The difference between macaroons and macarons, and whether it exists. * The difference between pies and tarts, and whether it exists. * Graham cracker crust quiche. * The same podcast episode but you keep editing new guest commentary in so that gets longer and longer. * Not letting a moose lick your car, because their tongue might get stuck. * Driving away after the moose's tongue gets stuck to your bumper and the moose flies behind you like a kite. * Driving in bemoosed roads. * Driving away when a moose tries to lick your car. * Moose seeing a car and thinking "oh good a source of salt." * The hippos of the West. * Telling your child that every animal is imaginary so they can have the magical moment of discovering the truth over and over again. * Frightening a bear away by putting moose antlers on it and showing it a mirror. * Inventing and testing sour honey live on this podcast. * The patron saint of standing on your head. * A sour honey update: it's fine. * The new sour salty honey candy, "Are They Gonna Give Me That Sour Salty Honey?" * People and learning and why they do it. * The thing about jokes. * Putting a bunch of bad programming means on the classroom wall because students will want to understand the joke. * Learning a little about many things and becoming a generalist. * The only STEM person in this anatomy and physiology class making jokes about how the kidneys are a linked list. * A meme in the sense of making your calculator say "BOOBIES" * An extremely elaborate process for making it kinda look like Mario is pooping. * Duolingo finally paying off when you can discern which Mario is pooping and which Mario has testicles. * An official Nintendo product acknowledging the schoolyard meme where it looks like Mario is pooping. * Inventing new things to do with video games. * The Green Demon. * The essence of swag. * Memes with good cinematography. * Inventing rules to apply to yourself to make video games harder. * Beating Pokemon with all Woopers. * A problematic Kojima game?! * Opting out of having an adult name. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Whether this is going to be a fun episode or if it's going to crash and burn after two minutes.
  • Trying to eat a watermelon in December and nature punishing you for your hubris.
  • A tarot deck of memes.
  • Describing memes in an audio medium.
  • Arby's.
  • Getting ASMR live on the podcast.
  • The Deck of Old Memes.
  • Where the horsey sauce comes out.
  • Your Arby's cups with a radioactive ghost.
  • The Loss Spread.
  • Literary analysis of a work of art, except it's a roguelike.
  • Jellicle cats.
  • Making noises even if you have nothing to say.
  • Loving Cats unironically except for the fatphobic one.
  • Advertisements for the stage musical Cats making it seem like Les Miserables, a show you go to to cry for three hours.
  • Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
  • Fantasizing that the hipster guy at the moustache wax store is your boyfriend.
  • Platonic forms that have been banished to earth and must prove themselves sufficiently perfect to return to the realm of ideas.
  • Whether pollicle is a back formation from jellicle.
  • Never having met a pollicle dog, nor watched a fever dream of a movie where they sing to you.
  • The good content that you can't keep it together through.
  • Reinforcing Goofy's head so that it doesn't fall into the casket when he kisses the body.
  • Burying you with a solar powered mp3 player so that you can hear "It's A Small World" on loop for eternity.
  • Hiring someone to be you from the past so they can have it out with Goofy dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Future at your funeral.
  • Planning the Best Funeral Ever.
  • Whether Disney is willing to DMCA takedown your novelty Disney funeral.
  • Our Cyberpunk Future being cool as heck and also unimaginably awful, like Lovecraft.
  • Our Cool Cyberpunk Future, where there are cool things and terrible things, and the rich people have the cool things, and you can try to steal them from them.
  • To what degree we got our Dystopian Cyberpunk Future because Jeff Bezos loved Neuromancer and wanted to make it happen for real.
  • Hiring Hiro Protagonist from Snow Crash to come to your funeral and kiss you on the lips, and getting a Meme Virus that persists through your death.
  • Hiring Tron Guy to come to your funeral and kiss you on the list.
  • Refusing to let Tron Guy see Tron Legacy at your movie theater because Ernest Cline would just buy the theater immediately.
  • Pickle brine that tastes a lot like peppery lemonade.
  • The hierarchy of sour candies.
  • Sour candy marketing in the 90s proclaiming that "your mom hates these!"
  • The difference between macaroons and macarons, and whether it exists.
  • The difference between pies and tarts, and whether it exists.
  • Graham cracker crust quiche.
  • The same podcast episode but you keep editing new guest commentary in so that gets longer and longer.
  • Not letting a moose lick your car, because their tongue might get stuck.
  • Driving away after the moose's tongue gets stuck to your bumper and the moose flies behind you like a kite.
  • Driving in bemoosed roads.
  • Driving away when a moose tries to lick your car.
  • Moose seeing a car and thinking "oh good a source of salt."
  • The hippos of the West.
  • Telling your child that every animal is imaginary so they can have the magical moment of discovering the truth over and over again.
  • Frightening a bear away by putting moose antlers on it and showing it a mirror.
  • Inventing and testing sour honey live on this podcast.
  • The patron saint of standing on your head.
  • A sour honey update: it's fine.
  • The new sour salty honey candy, "Are They Gonna Give Me That Sour Salty Honey?"
  • People and learning and why they do it.
  • The thing about jokes.
  • Putting a bunch of bad programming means on the classroom wall because students will want to understand the joke.
  • Learning a little about many things and becoming a generalist.
  • The only STEM person in this anatomy and physiology class making jokes about how the kidneys are a linked list.
  • A meme in the sense of making your calculator say "BOOBIES"
  • An extremely elaborate process for making it kinda look like Mario is pooping.
  • Duolingo finally paying off when you can discern which Mario is pooping and which Mario has testicles.
  • An official Nintendo product acknowledging the schoolyard meme where it looks like Mario is pooping.
  • Inventing new things to do with video games.
  • The Green Demon.
  • The essence of swag.
  • Memes with good cinematography.
  • Inventing rules to apply to yourself to make video games harder.
  • Beating Pokemon with all Woopers.
  • A problematic Kojima game?!
  • Opting out of having an adult name.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • Whether this is going to be a fun episode or if it's going to crash and burn after two minutes.
  • Trying to eat a watermelon in December and nature punishing you for your hubris.
  • A tarot deck of memes.
  • Describing memes in an audio medium.
  • Arby's.
  • Getting ASMR live on the podcast.
  • The Deck of Old Memes.
  • Where the horsey sauce comes out.
  • Your Arby's cups with a radioactive ghost.
  • The Loss Spread.
  • Literary analysis of a work of art, except it's a roguelike.
  • Jellicle cats.
  • Making noises even if you have nothing to say.
  • Loving Cats unironically except for the fatphobic one.
  • Advertisements for the stage musical Cats making it seem like Les Miserables, a show you go to to cry for three hours.
  • Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
  • Fantasizing that the hipster guy at the moustache wax store is your boyfriend.
  • Platonic forms that have been banished to earth and must prove themselves sufficiently perfect to return to the realm of ideas.
  • Whether pollicle is a back formation from jellicle.
  • Never having met a pollicle dog, nor watched a fever dream of a movie where they sing to you.
  • The good content that you can't keep it together through.
  • Reinforcing Goofy's head so that it doesn't fall into the casket when he kisses the body.
  • Burying you with a solar powered mp3 player so that you can hear "It's A Small World" on loop for eternity.
  • Hiring someone to be you from the past so they can have it out with Goofy dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Future at your funeral.
  • Planning the Best Funeral Ever.
  • Whether Disney is willing to DMCA takedown your novelty Disney funeral.
  • Our Cyberpunk Future being cool as heck and also unimaginably awful, like Lovecraft.
  • Our Cool Cyberpunk Future, where there are cool things and terrible things, and the rich people have the cool things, and you can try to steal them from them.
  • To what degree we got our Dystopian Cyberpunk Future because Jeff Bezos loved Neuromancer and wanted to make it happen for real.
  • Hiring Hiro Protagonist from Snow Crash to come to your funeral and kiss you on the lips, and getting a Meme Virus that persists through your death.
  • Hiring Tron Guy to come to your funeral and kiss you on the list.
  • Refusing to let Tron Guy see Tron Legacy at your movie theater because Ernest Cline would just buy the theater immediately.
  • Pickle brine that tastes a lot like peppery lemonade.
  • The hierarchy of sour candies.
  • Sour candy marketing in the 90s proclaiming that "your mom hates these!"
  • The difference between macaroons and macarons, and whether it exists.
  • The difference between pies and tarts, and whether it exists.
  • Graham cracker crust quiche.
  • The same podcast episode but you keep editing new guest commentary in so that gets longer and longer.
  • Not letting a moose lick your car, because their tongue might get stuck.
  • Driving away after the moose's tongue gets stuck to your bumper and the moose flies behind you like a kite.
  • Driving in bemoosed roads.
  • Driving away when a moose tries to lick your car.
  • Moose seeing a car and thinking "oh good a source of salt."
  • The hippos of the West.
  • Telling your child that every animal is imaginary so they can have the magical moment of discovering the truth over and over again.
  • Frightening a bear away by putting moose antlers on it and showing it a mirror.
  • Inventing and testing sour honey live on this podcast.
  • The patron saint of standing on your head.
  • A sour honey update: it's fine.
  • The new sour salty honey candy, "Are They Gonna Give Me That Sour Salty Honey?"
  • People and learning and why they do it.
  • The thing about jokes.
  • Putting a bunch of bad programming means on the classroom wall because students will want to understand the joke.
  • Learning a little about many things and becoming a generalist.
  • The only STEM person in this anatomy and physiology class making jokes about how the kidneys are a linked list.
  • A meme in the sense of making your calculator say "BOOBIES"
  • An extremely elaborate process for making it kinda look like Mario is pooping.
  • Duolingo finally paying off when you can discern which Mario is pooping and which Mario has testicles.
  • An official Nintendo product acknowledging the schoolyard meme where it looks like Mario is pooping.
  • Inventing new things to do with video games.
  • The Green Demon.
  • The essence of swag.
  • Memes with good cinematography.
  • Inventing rules to apply to yourself to make video games harder.
  • Beating Pokemon with all Woopers.
  • A problematic Kojima game?!
  • Opting out of having an adult name.

Support Topic Lords

]]>