web01.fireside.fm Fri, 17 Apr 2026 15:53:57 -0500 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) Topic Lords - Episodes Tagged with “Alicia” https://topiclords.com/tags/alicia Mon, 02 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700 Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. en-us episodic The only place on the internet you can hear topics discussed! Jim Stormdancer Every week, Jim invites different friends to guest on Topic Lords and be excited about whatever they've been fixated on this week. yes Jim Stormdancer jim@goombas.org 254. Help Me Get Over the Pervert Hump https://topiclords.com/help-me-get-over-the-pervert-hump 67558368-aad3-4950-8239-10217e10fb09 Mon, 02 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Ryan and Alicia. We discuss asking people what they're into without sounding like a pervert, Arctic Expeditions and man's hubris, Asterix Park, and I Won't Call You Pretty, by L.E. Bowman 1:05:31 yes Lords: * Ryan * https://www.instagram.com/ryanikeaudio/ * Alicia Topics: * How do I ask people what they're into without sounding like a pervert? * Arctic Expeditions and the stupid beauty of man's hubris * Asterix Park * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parc_Astérix * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK3Yr80lPOY * I Won't Call You Pretty, by L.E. Bowman * https://media24.fireside.fm/file/fireside-uploads-2024/images/3/3597ddeb-e52e-4cda-a59c-c64600489fea/tghmy9KF.png * I sent this poem to my wife and she immediately responded by writing one addressed to me that was just as good, so, that's the person I married. Microtopics: * How to work as a freelance creative without burning yourself out. * The me who comes up if you google me. * The black egg who knows all. * A huge egg with a second smaller egg in it. * The chickens who got no credit for inventing the Matrioshka doll. * Pluto: still a planet, because a dwarf planet is a kind of planet. * Team Moon. * Ancient Occult Magicks that you can check out from the library. * Giving up on the fairy smut everyone is recommending because it isn't smutty enough. * The air I just breathed. * One of my Top 5 Zeldas. * How many goes you get at being alive. * Luring Moongrum into the rolling boulder trap. * Bracing to hear about some online stuff. * Conference season in the game industry. * Meeting someone at a conference and asking them a question that Black Philip would ask. * How to Unfuck your Sales. * Content you Enjoyed. * Who are the coolest hangs in game dev? * Working with people you know and trust. * The Pervert's Mound. * Imagine if I was cool. * Wearing a sandwich board with the word "MONOGAMY" on it so the woman you're talking to knows you're not hitting on her. * Refusing to answer random innocuous questions so that it's not a tacit admission of guilt when you refuse to discuss an accusation. * Birthday bookshop tours. * Climbing as an act of disrespect to the mountain. * The HMS Terror and the HMS Erebus. * Peak British Colonialism. * Ignoring the locals' advice about what parts of animals to eat. * Sledging around your silverware. * Getting lead poisoning from the canned food you brought with you to find the Northwest Passage. * A cool pantsless mummy. * Paradoxical Undressing. * Having a hard time climbing Mount Everest because the path is choked with corpses of white people who blew it. * Oops, All Antarctic Ship Crashes. * Getting excited about bookshelves again. * Stepping forward into whatever the next grift is going to be. * Asterix the Gaul. * Localizing a book that is full of puns to dozens of different languages. * Not getting jokes in the English version of the Simpsons because the Swedish version of the Simpsons uses a completely different set of pop culture references. * What would an Asterix theme park look like? * Riding in a big inner tube down the lazy river. * Elder Millenials learning about Skibidi Toilet. * Asterix Park is the world's 12th largest economy. * My brain beans are really getting steamed, here. * Building an empire on that mustache. * Watching POV rollercoaster videos with your five year old. * Refusing to get in the sea. * Going up to strangers and asking what percentage of the sea is fish piss. * Weekend at Bernie's-ing your friend's corpse to Asterix Park. * What style of underwear Zeus is wearing today. * Who makes Zeus's underwear? * Eating the boar sandwich at Asterix Park. * Tasting the terror sweat on the wild boar you just hunted down. * The little bald kid from the comics page has a theme park?? * Pirates of the Carabiner. * Sailing through a diorama. * The theme park ride with the sudden drop into a pool of mercury. * The Haunted Garfield Theme Park. * DeFuncoland. * Jon trying to get with the veterinarian lady he's into and Garfield ruining it. * Let's-plays as a service. * You won't believe what happens when these Muppets swarm Treasure Island. * A movie recap that is 80% of the length of the movie. * Flirting tricks. * The violence of being struck by Cupid's arrow. * Complimenting someone on something they have no control over. * Good luck getting any continuity out of me! Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • How to work as a freelance creative without burning yourself out.
  • The me who comes up if you google me.
  • The black egg who knows all.
  • A huge egg with a second smaller egg in it.
  • The chickens who got no credit for inventing the Matrioshka doll.
  • Pluto: still a planet, because a dwarf planet is a kind of planet.
  • Team Moon.
  • Ancient Occult Magicks that you can check out from the library.
  • Giving up on the fairy smut everyone is recommending because it isn't smutty enough.
  • The air I just breathed.
  • One of my Top 5 Zeldas.
  • How many goes you get at being alive.
  • Luring Moongrum into the rolling boulder trap.
  • Bracing to hear about some online stuff.
  • Conference season in the game industry.
  • Meeting someone at a conference and asking them a question that Black Philip would ask.
  • How to Unfuck your Sales.
  • Content you Enjoyed.
  • Who are the coolest hangs in game dev?
  • Working with people you know and trust.
  • The Pervert's Mound.
  • Imagine if I was cool.
  • Wearing a sandwich board with the word "MONOGAMY" on it so the woman you're talking to knows you're not hitting on her.
  • Refusing to answer random innocuous questions so that it's not a tacit admission of guilt when you refuse to discuss an accusation.
  • Birthday bookshop tours.
  • Climbing as an act of disrespect to the mountain.
  • The HMS Terror and the HMS Erebus.
  • Peak British Colonialism.
  • Ignoring the locals' advice about what parts of animals to eat.
  • Sledging around your silverware.
  • Getting lead poisoning from the canned food you brought with you to find the Northwest Passage.
  • A cool pantsless mummy.
  • Paradoxical Undressing.
  • Having a hard time climbing Mount Everest because the path is choked with corpses of white people who blew it.
  • Oops, All Antarctic Ship Crashes.
  • Getting excited about bookshelves again.
  • Stepping forward into whatever the next grift is going to be.
  • Asterix the Gaul.
  • Localizing a book that is full of puns to dozens of different languages.
  • Not getting jokes in the English version of the Simpsons because the Swedish version of the Simpsons uses a completely different set of pop culture references.
  • What would an Asterix theme park look like?
  • Riding in a big inner tube down the lazy river.
  • Elder Millenials learning about Skibidi Toilet.
  • Asterix Park is the world's 12th largest economy.
  • My brain beans are really getting steamed, here.
  • Building an empire on that mustache.
  • Watching POV rollercoaster videos with your five year old.
  • Refusing to get in the sea.
  • Going up to strangers and asking what percentage of the sea is fish piss.
  • Weekend at Bernie's-ing your friend's corpse to Asterix Park.
  • What style of underwear Zeus is wearing today.
  • Who makes Zeus's underwear?
  • Eating the boar sandwich at Asterix Park.
  • Tasting the terror sweat on the wild boar you just hunted down.
  • The little bald kid from the comics page has a theme park??
  • Pirates of the Carabiner.
  • Sailing through a diorama.
  • The theme park ride with the sudden drop into a pool of mercury.
  • The Haunted Garfield Theme Park.
  • DeFuncoland.
  • Jon trying to get with the veterinarian lady he's into and Garfield ruining it.
  • Let's-plays as a service.
  • You won't believe what happens when these Muppets swarm Treasure Island.
  • A movie recap that is 80% of the length of the movie.
  • Flirting tricks.
  • The violence of being struck by Cupid's arrow.
  • Complimenting someone on something they have no control over.
  • Good luck getting any continuity out of me!

Support Topic Lords

]]> Lords:

Topics:

Microtopics:

  • How to work as a freelance creative without burning yourself out.
  • The me who comes up if you google me.
  • The black egg who knows all.
  • A huge egg with a second smaller egg in it.
  • The chickens who got no credit for inventing the Matrioshka doll.
  • Pluto: still a planet, because a dwarf planet is a kind of planet.
  • Team Moon.
  • Ancient Occult Magicks that you can check out from the library.
  • Giving up on the fairy smut everyone is recommending because it isn't smutty enough.
  • The air I just breathed.
  • One of my Top 5 Zeldas.
  • How many goes you get at being alive.
  • Luring Moongrum into the rolling boulder trap.
  • Bracing to hear about some online stuff.
  • Conference season in the game industry.
  • Meeting someone at a conference and asking them a question that Black Philip would ask.
  • How to Unfuck your Sales.
  • Content you Enjoyed.
  • Who are the coolest hangs in game dev?
  • Working with people you know and trust.
  • The Pervert's Mound.
  • Imagine if I was cool.
  • Wearing a sandwich board with the word "MONOGAMY" on it so the woman you're talking to knows you're not hitting on her.
  • Refusing to answer random innocuous questions so that it's not a tacit admission of guilt when you refuse to discuss an accusation.
  • Birthday bookshop tours.
  • Climbing as an act of disrespect to the mountain.
  • The HMS Terror and the HMS Erebus.
  • Peak British Colonialism.
  • Ignoring the locals' advice about what parts of animals to eat.
  • Sledging around your silverware.
  • Getting lead poisoning from the canned food you brought with you to find the Northwest Passage.
  • A cool pantsless mummy.
  • Paradoxical Undressing.
  • Having a hard time climbing Mount Everest because the path is choked with corpses of white people who blew it.
  • Oops, All Antarctic Ship Crashes.
  • Getting excited about bookshelves again.
  • Stepping forward into whatever the next grift is going to be.
  • Asterix the Gaul.
  • Localizing a book that is full of puns to dozens of different languages.
  • Not getting jokes in the English version of the Simpsons because the Swedish version of the Simpsons uses a completely different set of pop culture references.
  • What would an Asterix theme park look like?
  • Riding in a big inner tube down the lazy river.
  • Elder Millenials learning about Skibidi Toilet.
  • Asterix Park is the world's 12th largest economy.
  • My brain beans are really getting steamed, here.
  • Building an empire on that mustache.
  • Watching POV rollercoaster videos with your five year old.
  • Refusing to get in the sea.
  • Going up to strangers and asking what percentage of the sea is fish piss.
  • Weekend at Bernie's-ing your friend's corpse to Asterix Park.
  • What style of underwear Zeus is wearing today.
  • Who makes Zeus's underwear?
  • Eating the boar sandwich at Asterix Park.
  • Tasting the terror sweat on the wild boar you just hunted down.
  • The little bald kid from the comics page has a theme park??
  • Pirates of the Carabiner.
  • Sailing through a diorama.
  • The theme park ride with the sudden drop into a pool of mercury.
  • The Haunted Garfield Theme Park.
  • DeFuncoland.
  • Jon trying to get with the veterinarian lady he's into and Garfield ruining it.
  • Let's-plays as a service.
  • You won't believe what happens when these Muppets swarm Treasure Island.
  • A movie recap that is 80% of the length of the movie.
  • Flirting tricks.
  • The violence of being struck by Cupid's arrow.
  • Complimenting someone on something they have no control over.
  • Good luck getting any continuity out of me!

Support Topic Lords

]]> 177. An Episode Your Landlord Should Not Listen To https://topiclords.com/an-episode-your-landlord-should-not-listen-to 798a25c3-7d5d-4c06-8e5d-69a16b3f3b24 Mon, 13 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Alicia and Ryan. We discuss: Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain, would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year, Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV, Nancy, and common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel." 1:03:35 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Alicia * Ryan * Just type his name into google. Topics: * Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain: who is more dramatic? * Would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year? * Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV * Nancy * https://www.nybooks.com/articles/1966/08/18/nancy/ * Common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel" Microtopics: * Structurally reinforcing the scrotum. * Plugging mundane chores around the house. * Why do you live here, Seattle? * The lamentation of a failed joke being funnier than the joke itself would've been. * Turning the tire towards the curb when parking on a hill. * Driving in inclement weather. * Milking oats. * What it means for society when you make oat milk at home. * The rain we occasionally get except way more. * Bettie White-out. * When an imaginary kid uses his last words to put you on blast. * The advantages and disadvantages of big head mode. * How to get on the bus with big head mode on. * Whose bones you're farting right now. * Big Head Mode Confirmed in GoldenEye 007. * The yoga pose that is most optimal for shitting bones. * Getting your GoldenEye big head stuck in the automatic doors at TJ Maxx. * Whale bones on your mattress. * Which bones you can do without. * Bone pellets. * Using your broken tooth as a fidget toy. * An absolutely staggering amount of dental work. * A perfectly lovely root canal. * Using your bone-lasered rib as a fidget toy. * Extra ribs just loose in your torso somewhere. * Ribs of betrayal stabbing you in your soft pink innards. * McRib, more like MacBethRib. * The DMV letting you know that your custom license plate is "in the mail, you fucking pervert." * A grizzled PI paid to determine whether Dr. Puff is a real doctor. * Dark, but fair. * The moral philosophy of the DMV. * The 4chan veteran the DMV hires to detect profanity in custom license plate applications. * Three letters that mean a car thing. * You just got passed by a bad driver. * Nancyverse lore. * The one place in the world where the cost of living is higher than San Francisco. * Slant rhymes that slant so much they fall over. * Writing a Nancy fan poem just so you can slip increasingly awful rhymes into it. * Making your poem worse and worse as it goes on because what are the readers going to do, stop reading? Nobody has Netflix in 1966. * Using hand-crank egg-beaters when it's not the Prohibition. * Everybody at the office party with those paper guillotines, going to town on reams of paper. * Jim's hotel waffle story again. * Paying $8 for this novelty bust of Duke Nukem because you liked Duke Nukem 1. * High school kids dressing just like you dressed when you were in high school 20 years ago. * JNCO jeans with a dragon on the back pocket. * That Nostalgia Cycle: it's gonna come around. * Using two different keys to unlock and start your car. * The best car for the kidnapper on the go. * The first car to use the same key for the door, trunk and ignition. * Locking the exhaust pipe so nobody can put a banana in there. * Separate keys for locking your sun and moonroof. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Alicia
  • Ryan
    • Just type his name into google.

Topics:

  • Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain: who is more dramatic?
  • Would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year?
  • Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV
  • Nancy
  • Common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel"

Microtopics:

  • Structurally reinforcing the scrotum.
  • Plugging mundane chores around the house.
  • Why do you live here, Seattle?
  • The lamentation of a failed joke being funnier than the joke itself would've been.
  • Turning the tire towards the curb when parking on a hill.
  • Driving in inclement weather.
  • Milking oats.
  • What it means for society when you make oat milk at home.
  • The rain we occasionally get except way more.
  • Bettie White-out.
  • When an imaginary kid uses his last words to put you on blast.
  • The advantages and disadvantages of big head mode.
  • How to get on the bus with big head mode on.
  • Whose bones you're farting right now.
  • Big Head Mode Confirmed in GoldenEye 007.
  • The yoga pose that is most optimal for shitting bones.
  • Getting your GoldenEye big head stuck in the automatic doors at TJ Maxx.
  • Whale bones on your mattress.
  • Which bones you can do without.
  • Bone pellets.
  • Using your broken tooth as a fidget toy.
  • An absolutely staggering amount of dental work.
  • A perfectly lovely root canal.
  • Using your bone-lasered rib as a fidget toy.
  • Extra ribs just loose in your torso somewhere.
  • Ribs of betrayal stabbing you in your soft pink innards.
  • McRib, more like MacBethRib.
  • The DMV letting you know that your custom license plate is "in the mail, you fucking pervert."
  • A grizzled PI paid to determine whether Dr. Puff is a real doctor.
  • Dark, but fair.
  • The moral philosophy of the DMV.
  • The 4chan veteran the DMV hires to detect profanity in custom license plate applications.
  • Three letters that mean a car thing.
  • You just got passed by a bad driver.
  • Nancyverse lore.
  • The one place in the world where the cost of living is higher than San Francisco.
  • Slant rhymes that slant so much they fall over.
  • Writing a Nancy fan poem just so you can slip increasingly awful rhymes into it.
  • Making your poem worse and worse as it goes on because what are the readers going to do, stop reading? Nobody has Netflix in 1966.
  • Using hand-crank egg-beaters when it's not the Prohibition.
  • Everybody at the office party with those paper guillotines, going to town on reams of paper.
  • Jim's hotel waffle story again.
  • Paying $8 for this novelty bust of Duke Nukem because you liked Duke Nukem 1.
  • High school kids dressing just like you dressed when you were in high school 20 years ago.
  • JNCO jeans with a dragon on the back pocket.
  • That Nostalgia Cycle: it's gonna come around.
  • Using two different keys to unlock and start your car.
  • The best car for the kidnapper on the go.
  • The first car to use the same key for the door, trunk and ignition.
  • Locking the exhaust pipe so nobody can put a banana in there.
  • Separate keys for locking your sun and moonroof.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

  • Alicia
  • Ryan
    • Just type his name into google.

Topics:

  • Seattle's reaction to snow vs the Bay Area's reaction to rain: who is more dramatic?
  • Would you rather fart bones once a month or have Goldeneye "big head mode" on in real life for a year?
  • Moral philosophy lessons from the California DMV
  • Nancy
  • Common everyday items that make you mentally "time travel"

Microtopics:

  • Structurally reinforcing the scrotum.
  • Plugging mundane chores around the house.
  • Why do you live here, Seattle?
  • The lamentation of a failed joke being funnier than the joke itself would've been.
  • Turning the tire towards the curb when parking on a hill.
  • Driving in inclement weather.
  • Milking oats.
  • What it means for society when you make oat milk at home.
  • The rain we occasionally get except way more.
  • Bettie White-out.
  • When an imaginary kid uses his last words to put you on blast.
  • The advantages and disadvantages of big head mode.
  • How to get on the bus with big head mode on.
  • Whose bones you're farting right now.
  • Big Head Mode Confirmed in GoldenEye 007.
  • The yoga pose that is most optimal for shitting bones.
  • Getting your GoldenEye big head stuck in the automatic doors at TJ Maxx.
  • Whale bones on your mattress.
  • Which bones you can do without.
  • Bone pellets.
  • Using your broken tooth as a fidget toy.
  • An absolutely staggering amount of dental work.
  • A perfectly lovely root canal.
  • Using your bone-lasered rib as a fidget toy.
  • Extra ribs just loose in your torso somewhere.
  • Ribs of betrayal stabbing you in your soft pink innards.
  • McRib, more like MacBethRib.
  • The DMV letting you know that your custom license plate is "in the mail, you fucking pervert."
  • A grizzled PI paid to determine whether Dr. Puff is a real doctor.
  • Dark, but fair.
  • The moral philosophy of the DMV.
  • The 4chan veteran the DMV hires to detect profanity in custom license plate applications.
  • Three letters that mean a car thing.
  • You just got passed by a bad driver.
  • Nancyverse lore.
  • The one place in the world where the cost of living is higher than San Francisco.
  • Slant rhymes that slant so much they fall over.
  • Writing a Nancy fan poem just so you can slip increasingly awful rhymes into it.
  • Making your poem worse and worse as it goes on because what are the readers going to do, stop reading? Nobody has Netflix in 1966.
  • Using hand-crank egg-beaters when it's not the Prohibition.
  • Everybody at the office party with those paper guillotines, going to town on reams of paper.
  • Jim's hotel waffle story again.
  • Paying $8 for this novelty bust of Duke Nukem because you liked Duke Nukem 1.
  • High school kids dressing just like you dressed when you were in high school 20 years ago.
  • JNCO jeans with a dragon on the back pocket.
  • That Nostalgia Cycle: it's gonna come around.
  • Using two different keys to unlock and start your car.
  • The best car for the kidnapper on the go.
  • The first car to use the same key for the door, trunk and ignition.
  • Locking the exhaust pipe so nobody can put a banana in there.
  • Separate keys for locking your sun and moonroof.

Support Topic Lords

]]> 75. Just Yawn It Out, Brah https://topiclords.com/just-yawn-it-out-brah 08cedf72-c999-43c4-a3a7-a901402a94b1 Mon, 29 Mar 2021 08:00:00 -0700 Jim Stormdancer full Jim Stormdancer Lords: Ryan and Alicia. We discuss throw pillows, why yawning is considered a sign of boredom, art packs/music disks, trying to play every CRPG in chronological order, and whether listening to an audio book is "reading." 1:09:36 yes Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords) Lords: * Ryan * https://twitter.com/RyanIkeComposer * Alicia * https://www.instagram.com/historianraptor/ Topics: * How many throw pillows is too many? Does it depend on number of pillows? Size of furniture? Number of family members? Softness/firmness level? * Why are yawns considered a sign of boredom? * Art packs/music disks * https://16colo.rs/pack/wiz-0296/ * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlvsDtevNJ0&feature=youtu.be * Ville asks "Chester Bolingbroke is blogging his attempt to finish every computer RPG ever in chronological order, despite this being clearly impossible. He started at The Dungeon (1975) and is currently up to Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet (1992)." * http://crpgaddict.blogspot.com/ * Do you consider listening to an audio book "reading?" What about having a book read to you by someone, live? Could we interpret radio plays or listening to a film with our eyes closed "reading?" Microtopics: * Getting good enough at English to speak in Instruction Manual. * Back before the content ocean. * A whole slew of trucks that have jobs. * Your two year old wishing you good luck by leaving a cement mixer on your desk. * A lateral career move where you decide to stop releasing games. * Occult and magic in the Greco-Roman world. * Talking the kids out of going to college. * Using Greco-Roman erotic curse tablets and binding spells to examine romantic relationships of the time period. * How nobody calls love potions "curses" any more. * Variable demand for throw pillows over the course of the day. * Needing to get more dogs because your have too many throw pillows for the number of dogs you have. * A bowling pin orientation of ten to twelve pillows that you have to clear out of the way before you can sleep. * A barricade of squish. * A wheezing Darth Vader mask. * Sleeping in an ominous dark orb next to your wife in bed and she complains that your orb is too hard and it pinches when it closes. * A lacerating throw pillow. * Opening yourself up to the soft life. * A badminton racket in your closet that you haven't used in over a decade. * Edible pillows. * Yawning whenever you see the sun. * Possible origins of the myth that yawning indicates boredom. * A yawn factory to your left. * Trying to change society in the next ten minutes. * A manatee at the zoo giving you a hard time because you yawned at their enclosure. * Oxygenating before you charge an invader. * Hippos yawning in order to fuck you up. * Getting kicked out of the zoo after yawning at the chimpanzees and the admission booth putting up a photo of your gaping mouth saying "don't let these teeth in." * What you get for challenging a peacock. * Living in a bad society and being tired all the time. * Yawning it out. * Sticking a finger in your elderly dog's mouth when they yawn because they don't have enough teeth left to bite you. * What you did with a modem before the internet was a thing. * BBS operators commissioning ANSI art to differentiate their BBS from other BBSes. * Making elaborate works of art within the constraints of IBM PC text mode. * An executable that displays procedural animations on the screen and describes the features of a BBS. * What Minnesota locals think of Bruno Mars' hats. * Minnesota not having any LAN parties but you can get a deep fried floppy disk on a stick at the state fair. * How to fool 2008-YouTube into allocating extra bandwidth to your fluorescent waffle pattern. * A logo that is shimmering so hard that it is impossible to read. * Never reading a video title because you don't want to be biased going into it. * The script you would read on the side of an obelisk on an ancient asteroid. * Whether the sci-fi story you just wrote is just Mass Effect again. * Making art for your friends. * Inventing a podcast because you need an excuse to chat with friends. * Watching your wife's phone ring and asking if she's going to do something about that. * Being on a podcast where you have to do homework. * The LAN party of podcasting. * Creating a box for your podcast so you can put a quote on it. * Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet. * Creating content in order to make friends. * Whether you can play every RPG faster than they are released. * When it's okay to feed Gremlins again. * Setting out on a quest to do something esoteric that nobody has asked for. * Whether the guy in Zelda who said "tenth enemy has the bomb" made sense in Japanese. * Whether Gremlins respect the daylight savings time changeover. * Whether leaving food out on the counter that the Gremlin later eats counts as "feeding" it. * A Bubsy 3D-style Gremlins sequel. * Abandoning the topic to just talk about Gremlins for ten minutes. * Yelling to the sky in impotent rage when an inanimate object rips one of your earbuds out. * Buying a pianist an incredibly sharp kitchen knife. * Cutting your sandwiches with a machine gun. * Getting knife proof gloves for the kitchen and then just wearing them all the time because who knows when your fancy new chef's knife will strike. * Engaging with the story and creating a construct in your imagination. * Whether it's okay to "read" a book on tape. * Calling NES cartridges "tapes" because Nintendo deliberately designed them to resemble VHS tapes. * A sci-fi video game filled with Data Prisms which have identical storage capacity and security properties to Post-It notes but are way more futuristic. * Leaving a note saying "Don't forget to get paper towels at Fred Meyer" for the post-apocalyptic scavenger exploring your kitchen. * Dying together on the toilet in a heartwarming embrace. * A framed Post-It note saying "Ryan's favorite number is 63." * Digging Jim's corpse up and squeezing him like a bagpipe into his CPAP machine to unlock Frog Fractions 3. * How at Taco Bell "supreme" means sour cream and tomatoes but at Pizza Hut "supreme" means sausage and green peppers but at the combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut it means pouring Baja Blast on your Pizzone. * Choosing your bad handle and owning it. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • How many throw pillows is too many? Does it depend on number of pillows? Size of furniture? Number of family members? Softness/firmness level?
  • Why are yawns considered a sign of boredom?
  • Art packs/music disks
  • Ville asks "Chester Bolingbroke is blogging his attempt to finish every computer RPG ever in chronological order, despite this being clearly impossible. He started at The Dungeon (1975) and is currently up to Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet (1992)."
  • Do you consider listening to an audio book "reading?" What about having a book read to you by someone, live? Could we interpret radio plays or listening to a film with our eyes closed "reading?"

Microtopics:

  • Getting good enough at English to speak in Instruction Manual.
  • Back before the content ocean.
  • A whole slew of trucks that have jobs.
  • Your two year old wishing you good luck by leaving a cement mixer on your desk.
  • A lateral career move where you decide to stop releasing games.
  • Occult and magic in the Greco-Roman world.
  • Talking the kids out of going to college.
  • Using Greco-Roman erotic curse tablets and binding spells to examine romantic relationships of the time period.
  • How nobody calls love potions "curses" any more.
  • Variable demand for throw pillows over the course of the day.
  • Needing to get more dogs because your have too many throw pillows for the number of dogs you have.
  • A bowling pin orientation of ten to twelve pillows that you have to clear out of the way before you can sleep.
  • A barricade of squish.
  • A wheezing Darth Vader mask.
  • Sleeping in an ominous dark orb next to your wife in bed and she complains that your orb is too hard and it pinches when it closes.
  • A lacerating throw pillow.
  • Opening yourself up to the soft life.
  • A badminton racket in your closet that you haven't used in over a decade.
  • Edible pillows.
  • Yawning whenever you see the sun.
  • Possible origins of the myth that yawning indicates boredom.
  • A yawn factory to your left.
  • Trying to change society in the next ten minutes.
  • A manatee at the zoo giving you a hard time because you yawned at their enclosure.
  • Oxygenating before you charge an invader.
  • Hippos yawning in order to fuck you up.
  • Getting kicked out of the zoo after yawning at the chimpanzees and the admission booth putting up a photo of your gaping mouth saying "don't let these teeth in."
  • What you get for challenging a peacock.
  • Living in a bad society and being tired all the time.
  • Yawning it out.
  • Sticking a finger in your elderly dog's mouth when they yawn because they don't have enough teeth left to bite you.
  • What you did with a modem before the internet was a thing.
  • BBS operators commissioning ANSI art to differentiate their BBS from other BBSes.
  • Making elaborate works of art within the constraints of IBM PC text mode.
  • An executable that displays procedural animations on the screen and describes the features of a BBS.
  • What Minnesota locals think of Bruno Mars' hats.
  • Minnesota not having any LAN parties but you can get a deep fried floppy disk on a stick at the state fair.
  • How to fool 2008-YouTube into allocating extra bandwidth to your fluorescent waffle pattern.
  • A logo that is shimmering so hard that it is impossible to read.
  • Never reading a video title because you don't want to be biased going into it.
  • The script you would read on the side of an obelisk on an ancient asteroid.
  • Whether the sci-fi story you just wrote is just Mass Effect again.
  • Making art for your friends.
  • Inventing a podcast because you need an excuse to chat with friends.
  • Watching your wife's phone ring and asking if she's going to do something about that.
  • Being on a podcast where you have to do homework.
  • The LAN party of podcasting.
  • Creating a box for your podcast so you can put a quote on it.
  • Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet.
  • Creating content in order to make friends.
  • Whether you can play every RPG faster than they are released.
  • When it's okay to feed Gremlins again.
  • Setting out on a quest to do something esoteric that nobody has asked for.
  • Whether the guy in Zelda who said "tenth enemy has the bomb" made sense in Japanese.
  • Whether Gremlins respect the daylight savings time changeover.
  • Whether leaving food out on the counter that the Gremlin later eats counts as "feeding" it.
  • A Bubsy 3D-style Gremlins sequel.
  • Abandoning the topic to just talk about Gremlins for ten minutes.
  • Yelling to the sky in impotent rage when an inanimate object rips one of your earbuds out.
  • Buying a pianist an incredibly sharp kitchen knife.
  • Cutting your sandwiches with a machine gun.
  • Getting knife proof gloves for the kitchen and then just wearing them all the time because who knows when your fancy new chef's knife will strike.
  • Engaging with the story and creating a construct in your imagination.
  • Whether it's okay to "read" a book on tape.
  • Calling NES cartridges "tapes" because Nintendo deliberately designed them to resemble VHS tapes.
  • A sci-fi video game filled with Data Prisms which have identical storage capacity and security properties to Post-It notes but are way more futuristic.
  • Leaving a note saying "Don't forget to get paper towels at Fred Meyer" for the post-apocalyptic scavenger exploring your kitchen.
  • Dying together on the toilet in a heartwarming embrace.
  • A framed Post-It note saying "Ryan's favorite number is 63."
  • Digging Jim's corpse up and squeezing him like a bagpipe into his CPAP machine to unlock Frog Fractions 3.
  • How at Taco Bell "supreme" means sour cream and tomatoes but at Pizza Hut "supreme" means sausage and green peppers but at the combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut it means pouring Baja Blast on your Pizzone.
  • Choosing your bad handle and owning it.

Support Topic Lords

]]> Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Topics:

  • How many throw pillows is too many? Does it depend on number of pillows? Size of furniture? Number of family members? Softness/firmness level?
  • Why are yawns considered a sign of boredom?
  • Art packs/music disks
  • Ville asks "Chester Bolingbroke is blogging his attempt to finish every computer RPG ever in chronological order, despite this being clearly impossible. He started at The Dungeon (1975) and is currently up to Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet (1992)."
  • Do you consider listening to an audio book "reading?" What about having a book read to you by someone, live? Could we interpret radio plays or listening to a film with our eyes closed "reading?"

Microtopics:

  • Getting good enough at English to speak in Instruction Manual.
  • Back before the content ocean.
  • A whole slew of trucks that have jobs.
  • Your two year old wishing you good luck by leaving a cement mixer on your desk.
  • A lateral career move where you decide to stop releasing games.
  • Occult and magic in the Greco-Roman world.
  • Talking the kids out of going to college.
  • Using Greco-Roman erotic curse tablets and binding spells to examine romantic relationships of the time period.
  • How nobody calls love potions "curses" any more.
  • Variable demand for throw pillows over the course of the day.
  • Needing to get more dogs because your have too many throw pillows for the number of dogs you have.
  • A bowling pin orientation of ten to twelve pillows that you have to clear out of the way before you can sleep.
  • A barricade of squish.
  • A wheezing Darth Vader mask.
  • Sleeping in an ominous dark orb next to your wife in bed and she complains that your orb is too hard and it pinches when it closes.
  • A lacerating throw pillow.
  • Opening yourself up to the soft life.
  • A badminton racket in your closet that you haven't used in over a decade.
  • Edible pillows.
  • Yawning whenever you see the sun.
  • Possible origins of the myth that yawning indicates boredom.
  • A yawn factory to your left.
  • Trying to change society in the next ten minutes.
  • A manatee at the zoo giving you a hard time because you yawned at their enclosure.
  • Oxygenating before you charge an invader.
  • Hippos yawning in order to fuck you up.
  • Getting kicked out of the zoo after yawning at the chimpanzees and the admission booth putting up a photo of your gaping mouth saying "don't let these teeth in."
  • What you get for challenging a peacock.
  • Living in a bad society and being tired all the time.
  • Yawning it out.
  • Sticking a finger in your elderly dog's mouth when they yawn because they don't have enough teeth left to bite you.
  • What you did with a modem before the internet was a thing.
  • BBS operators commissioning ANSI art to differentiate their BBS from other BBSes.
  • Making elaborate works of art within the constraints of IBM PC text mode.
  • An executable that displays procedural animations on the screen and describes the features of a BBS.
  • What Minnesota locals think of Bruno Mars' hats.
  • Minnesota not having any LAN parties but you can get a deep fried floppy disk on a stick at the state fair.
  • How to fool 2008-YouTube into allocating extra bandwidth to your fluorescent waffle pattern.
  • A logo that is shimmering so hard that it is impossible to read.
  • Never reading a video title because you don't want to be biased going into it.
  • The script you would read on the side of an obelisk on an ancient asteroid.
  • Whether the sci-fi story you just wrote is just Mass Effect again.
  • Making art for your friends.
  • Inventing a podcast because you need an excuse to chat with friends.
  • Watching your wife's phone ring and asking if she's going to do something about that.
  • Being on a podcast where you have to do homework.
  • The LAN party of podcasting.
  • Creating a box for your podcast so you can put a quote on it.
  • Legends of Valour: Ragged Chet.
  • Creating content in order to make friends.
  • Whether you can play every RPG faster than they are released.
  • When it's okay to feed Gremlins again.
  • Setting out on a quest to do something esoteric that nobody has asked for.
  • Whether the guy in Zelda who said "tenth enemy has the bomb" made sense in Japanese.
  • Whether Gremlins respect the daylight savings time changeover.
  • Whether leaving food out on the counter that the Gremlin later eats counts as "feeding" it.
  • A Bubsy 3D-style Gremlins sequel.
  • Abandoning the topic to just talk about Gremlins for ten minutes.
  • Yelling to the sky in impotent rage when an inanimate object rips one of your earbuds out.
  • Buying a pianist an incredibly sharp kitchen knife.
  • Cutting your sandwiches with a machine gun.
  • Getting knife proof gloves for the kitchen and then just wearing them all the time because who knows when your fancy new chef's knife will strike.
  • Engaging with the story and creating a construct in your imagination.
  • Whether it's okay to "read" a book on tape.
  • Calling NES cartridges "tapes" because Nintendo deliberately designed them to resemble VHS tapes.
  • A sci-fi video game filled with Data Prisms which have identical storage capacity and security properties to Post-It notes but are way more futuristic.
  • Leaving a note saying "Don't forget to get paper towels at Fred Meyer" for the post-apocalyptic scavenger exploring your kitchen.
  • Dying together on the toilet in a heartwarming embrace.
  • A framed Post-It note saying "Ryan's favorite number is 63."
  • Digging Jim's corpse up and squeezing him like a bagpipe into his CPAP machine to unlock Frog Fractions 3.
  • How at Taco Bell "supreme" means sour cream and tomatoes but at Pizza Hut "supreme" means sausage and green peppers but at the combination Taco Bell and Pizza Hut it means pouring Baja Blast on your Pizzone.
  • Choosing your bad handle and owning it.

Support Topic Lords

]]>