• Linker
• Alexa

Topics:

• Variations in vampire stories: types of powers, origins of vampires, lack of consent lol
• Anthropomorphism/Connection in media
• Get a free burger when you join my rewards
• Meditation at Lagunitas by Robert Hass
  • https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/47553/meditation-at-lagunitas
• What letter of the alphabet would win in a Royal Rumble
• Anti-Lesbian Vampire Propaganda of the 1970s as shown in The Vampire Lovers (1970)
  • https://crossingsjournal.ca/index.php/crossings/article/view/283

Microtopics:

• Being American and then being Canadian-American.
• Elephantasy and Elephantasy Flipside.
• Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty.
• 3D-printed worms.
• A plastic casing attached to your keychain that used to have a clicky button on it.
• What we did to fidget after the industrialization of textiles.
• How office workers goofed off before the Internet.
• Bella's lead skull that prevents Edward from mind-controlling her.
• Making up a power to be your favorite vampire power.
• What happens when you inhale a vampire in mist form.
• Using a picture of Cat's Cradle to illustrate the concept of telekinesis.
• Putting the vampire coffin in steerage and the familiar has to sit in coach and then pull the coffin off of the luggage conveyor belt.
• Would it be fun to turn into mist and be collected in a cup and then drunk?
• Miss Frizzle, vampire expert.
• Getting frustrated at a stealth video game and giving up being a pacifist as a metaphor for being an old vampire.
• New Money vs. Old Money vampires.
• Vampires going on Fetlife to find ethically sourced food.
• One mysterious vampire at Goth night at the nightclub quietly asking to drink your blood, vs. twenty vampires going around begging and everyone's like jeez, this again?
• Nobody expecting you to embezzle the blood.
• Talking to a computer like it's a person you have absolutely no respect for, in a way you'd never talk to a real person because you assign a baseline respect for just being a real person, and people overhearing you are like "holy shit they're really mad" but you're not mad, you're just talking to a computer.
• Apologizing to the table you just ran into.
• It Takes Two.
• Following the instructions of the book of love.
• Creation of personality in moments of friction.
• Interacting with video games in similar ways as you would a person, expect without the social anxiety.
• Why would you ruin this perfectly good complex system with social anxiety?
• We've got teamwork at home.
• Sentient burgers enslaving other sentient burgers.
• Being rewarded with a free burger but then turning into a burger and being given away as a reward.
• Chicken stars! They're like chicken nuggets but they're shaped like stars!
• Where were you when you were drafted into the Rewards Wars?
• Naming your rewards program "My Rewards" so when the mascot refers to it it sounds like the rewards belong to the mascot.
• Demanding to see the terms and conditions before you eat this hamburger.
• A word that is elegy to what it signifies.
• Moments when the body is as numinous as words.
• Taking some LSD and learning about non-symbolic states.
• Ignoring poetry in the same way that you ignore ads.
• Vampire jokes!
• Transylvanian Hounds.
• Serif H being much more combat-ready than sans serif H.
• The most bouba letters.
• Capital O rolling around crushing the other letters of the alphabet like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Distraction the ref so you can stab.
• Which letter of the alphabet could do the best backflip.
• Whether the ampersand counts as a letter.
• Letters that are good at stabbing vs. letters with broad sturdy bases.
• The nuclear family emerging in response to the financial boom following World War II.
• Anti-lesbian propaganda films that are far too sexy to be effective.
• Heteronormative fiances.
• Carmella the lesbian vampire stealing your wife.
• The vampire lesbians receiving their comeuppance and the heteronormative couple living happily every after.
• Be gay do crimes. (Murder.)
• Buying Linker's games so he doesn't die.

Support Topic Lords